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Tue 12 Sep, 2006 09:15 am
By Bill Maher
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Photo: Richard Lautens/Toronto Star/ZUMA Press
Bill Maher
Sept. 8, 2006
New rule: Bad presidents happen to good people. Amid all the 9/11 anniversary talk about what will keep us safe, let me suggest that in a world turned hostile to America, the smartest message we can send to those beyond our shores is, "We're not with stupid." Therefore, I contend -- with all seriousness -- that ridiculing this president is now the most patriotic thing you can do. Let our allies and our enemies alike know that there's a whole swath of Americans desperate to distance themselves from Bush's foreign policies. And that's just Republicans running for reelection.
Now, of course, you're gonna say, "But Bill, ridiculing Bush is like shooting fish in a barrel," or, as Dick Cheney calls it, "hunting." Maybe, but right now it's important, because America is an easily misunderstood country these days -- a lot of the time it's hard to make out what we're saying over the bombs we're dropping.
But we are not all people who think putting a boot in your ass is the way to solve problems, because even allowing that my foot lodged in your ass would feel good, which I don't -- what then? OK, my boot is in your ass, but I can't get it out, so I'm not happy, and it's in you, so you're not happy -- there's no exit strategy.
Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
Questioning whether it still makes sense to keep troops under fire is supporting the troops. Asking for a plan supports the troops; asking when they'll be leaving supports the troops. Sitting around parsing the definition of "civil war" doesn't support the troops, it supports the president, and he's not a soldier, he just plays one on TV.
So yes, for the sake of homeland security, I ridicule the president -- but it gives me no pleasure to paint him as a dolt, a rube, a yokel on the world stage, a submental, three bricks shy of a load, a Gilligan unable to find his own ass with two hands. Or, as Sean Hannity calls it, "Reaganesque."
No, it pains me to say these things, because I know deep down George Bush has something extra -- a chromosome. Cruel? Perhaps, but it may just have saved lives. By doing the extra chromosome joke, I sent a message to a young Muslim man somewhere in the world who's on a slow burn about this country, and perhaps got him to think, "Maybe the people of America aren't so bad. Maybe it's just the rodeo clown who leads them. Maybe the people 'get it.'" We do, Achmed, we do!
And that's why making fun of the president keeps this country safe. The proof? I've been doing it nonstop for years, and there hasn't been another attack. Maybe the reason they haven't attacked us again is they figured we're already suffering enough.
If I could explain one thing about George W. Bush to the rest of the world it's this: We don't know what the hell he's saying either! Trust me, foreigners, there's nothing lost in translation, it's just as incoherent in the original English. Yes, we voted for him -- twice -- but that's because we're stupid, not because we're bad. Bush is just one of those things that are really popular for a few years and then almost overnight become completely embarrassing. You know, like leg warmers, or Hootie and the Blowfish, or white people going, "Oh no you di-int."
So while honoring the anniversary of September 2001, we must also never forget September 2000. That's the month when Gov. George W. Bush said, "I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully." If you don't believe me, you can look it up on both internets. The world changed on 9/11. He didn't. That's why we owe it to ourselves, and our children, to never stop pointing out that George W. Bush is a gruesome boob.
"He's not a soldier, he just plays one on TV." HA! Priceless!
I guess this constitutes what's called "the loyal opposition."
More likely, what's called truthful journalism
I think it's called laughing to avoid crying.
blacksmithn wrote:"He's not a soldier, he just plays one on TV." HA! Priceless!
Yeah, I should've highlighted that one, too.
It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
My president is Charlton Heston.
(stolen from thousands of bumper stickers from people disavowing their president.)
ebrown_p wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
My president is Charlton Heston.
(stolen from thousands of bumper stickers from people disavowing their president.)
And this proves or disproves what point?
Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
-- Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.,
The Kansas City Star, May, 1918
Setanta wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
-- Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.,
The Kansas City Star, May, 1918
You have ignored my
entire point, which is that there is a difference between criticism or derision of the government among ourselves, as opposed to such criticism or derision for foreign consumption.
Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
Contrary to what you may hope in your heart, other countries already know what a fool Mr. Bush is. Kinda hard to hide that sort of thing.
As pissed as I am at Maher for providing a high-profile access point for Ann Coulter, I really like that piece above.
Quote: Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
That's a wonderful analogy.
blatham wrote:As pissed as I am at Maher for providing a high-profile access point for Ann Coulter, I really like that piece above.
Quote: Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
That's a wonderful analogy.
How about people who give aid and comfort to your nation's avowed enemies, people who seek to kill you and your neighbors? This fits your definition of patriotism?
Brandon9000 wrote:Setanta wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
-- Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.,
The Kansas City Star, May, 1918
You have ignored my
entire point, which is that there is a difference between criticism or derision of the government among ourselves, as opposed to such criticism or derision for foreign consumption.
You completely fabricate a scenario in which we could criticize the President and it
wouldn't be known outside our borders. Grow up.
Setanta wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:Setanta wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:It's one thing to criticize policy within your own country. It's quite another thing to annouce to other countries, friend and foe alike, that you disavow your president.
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
-- Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.,
The Kansas City Star, May, 1918
You have ignored my
entire point, which is that there is a difference between criticism or derision of the government among ourselves, as opposed to such criticism or derision for foreign consumption.
You completely fabricate a scenario in which we could criticize the President and it
wouldn't be known outside our borders. Grow up.
To say that you disavow your government's decisions, with the specific intent of speaking for foreign consumption, must surely qualify as giving aid and comfort to the enemy. You seem to be rejecting in its entirety the idea of telling your countrymen that they're idiots, but putting up some kind of a front of solidarity in a situation in which the country's would-be destroyers can see.
Brandon9000 wrote:blatham wrote:As pissed as I am at Maher for providing a high-profile access point for Ann Coulter, I really like that piece above.
Quote: Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
That's a wonderful analogy.
How about people who give aid and comfort to your nation's avowed enemies, people who seek to kill you and your neighbors? This fits your definition of patriotism?
Well, what does that quote from Roosevelt say, brandon? What is the rationale for it? What happens to your liberty if you posit a speech regime which hews over to the totalitarian? Do you wish liberty or not?
So you're against freedom of speech. Why do hate American, Brandon?
blatham wrote:Brandon9000 wrote:blatham wrote:As pissed as I am at Maher for providing a high-profile access point for Ann Coulter, I really like that piece above.
Quote: Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
That's a wonderful analogy.
How about people who give aid and comfort to your nation's avowed enemies, people who seek to kill you and your neighbors? This fits your definition of patriotism?
Well, what does that quote from Roosevelt say, brandon? What is the rationale for it? What happens to your liberty if you posit a speech regime which hews over to the totalitarian? Do you wish liberty or not?
I want my fellow citizens to have the right to say what they wish (excepting the release of military secrets, crying "fire" in a crowded theater, etc.) but the loyalty to the country to voluntarily refrain from saying certain things which will provide aid and comfort to people hell bent on destroying the country.
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