1
   

anger , I think

 
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Sep, 2006 07:59 pm
Oh, I'm sorry.

How hard for everyone.

I hope this new place is much more to your liking and hopefully more affordable too.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Sep, 2006 08:15 pm
Me too.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Sep, 2006 09:10 pm
It isnt so much that the other place was cheaper.

Well, it WASNT cheaper exactly.

We are paying 605.00...... heh....... WERE paying

There was an opportunity for us to get on to the level 1 or 2 pay scale because Ian makes less then 30,000 a year.
It is just that those slots are filled since they only give out 8 of them to 141 students.

If , when you join, the only open slot is ... lets say at level 5, you PAY level 5 price ( 705) until something else opens up below that.

We were payinga level 3 price . Wich is ment for people who make about 50,000 a year.

On that waiting list, if we could have gotten a level 1 pay scale, we would have paid about 300 a month.
THAT would have been fantastic.
But those are 'charity ' slots and not given out easily, nor are they emptied quickly.

This just really bites thebig one because I have to find anything I can, no matter what it costs for immediate care.
The only other option would be for me to stay home.
And if I do that, we have to leave the apartment we just got.

On Ian's salary alone , we would only have about 1800.00 a month.
510 for rent
317 for car
60 for insurance
( clueless about electric, gas or water )
350-400 a month for groceries
130 for washer + dryer

That leaves 383.00 .
And I have not included gas, diapers, utilities, or anything else for that matter.
So, truthfully we COULD survive, but barely.

Giving up my little business just isnt an option.
So, day care is a must.

A cheaper day care would be nice.
But any day care is needed and now.

I can always work on a transfer later, if I keep pounding the pavement looking for placement.

It will rock her little world, but unfortunatly it is a must.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 Sep, 2006 09:46 pm
I am sorry to hear that shewolf, but I guess for Jill it will be better
in the long run to be in an environment that is more condusive
to her needs.

Have you checked into private daycare? Maybe another mother
who could take Jill for a lesser amount than regular daycare,
or a "grandmother" type who needs a boost
to her social security?
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 05:57 am
I have considered that option.

In fact, a home day care will be my number two choice, the one I visited being number one.

The only problem I have with in home is that they come and go quickly around austin. And I dont know why..

There are some that are here to stay, and some that are doing really well with being reliable themselves, but if the day care provider is sick, then I have to keep Jillian home and I lose work.

I would want to find , maybe a couple. Where the odds of sickness, and small errands wont cause the entire day care to close for the day because there is 'back up' help.



I have a screaming headache this morning.
I think I was grinding my teeth all last night.
(sigh)
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 07:51 am
I'm with CJ on considering an In Home Day Care.

Bean was trying to tell everyone she was not happy having a state-of-the-art, pre-school experience. I'm guessing that she's a sensitive child and her system was pushed onto sensory overload in a blooming, buzzing confusion.

In this part of the world, In Home Day Care people advertise in the Classifieds in the newspaper.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 10:16 am
Yes, Noddy, and there seems to be plenty of childcare in Austin too.

Here is a single mother who needs a job wher she can bring her baby.

Quote:
Hi. My name is Abby and I have a one year old. I want to find a nanny position where I am able to bring my son with me to your house or some days at my house. I charge $9.50 an hour M-F. Please E-mail me with any questions. Thank you


http://austin.craigslist.org/kid/204868390.html
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 04:19 pm
UT sucks.

I could give you several examples right off the top of my head where they do as they damn well please. Baically the reason is Because We Can.

Do you know anyone personally who has a kiddo and is a stay at home mom who would like a playmate? You might know some one who never thought of taking care of someone else, but might be interested at the idea.

I'm thinking maybe you could barter some of cost. Cleaning their house/apt as part of the deal.

I dunno though...the stories you hear.

thinking.....
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 04:45 pm
This looks interesting, but I haven't found a similar link for Austin...

http://www.duneland.com/ymca/daycare.html

I also don't know if you already have to have a family membership to join.

I used to love love love my West Los Angeles YMCA as an adult, have no clue about the childcare except they are probably not staffed with soon-to-become expert education and care experts...(but who knows, in WLA they might have been). They might understand play though.

My niece spent some time in the summers at the WLA Y and liked it a lot, but she was much older then. (I vaguely remember they have summer camps, or at least camp days). She's all grown up now, and an excellent athlete, so a place like that worked for her even as a, say, eight year old.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Sep, 2006 10:17 pm
Okay, it has taken me 24 hours to calm down enough to write this.

And I'm STILL pissed off!

You oughta be SO glad that Jillian is out of that place, shewolf! They clearly don't know what they're doing. I am still reeling from your description of these so-called "qualified" child care workers screaming at the kids and especially bruising Jillian's arm...that could get them arrested!

No wonder Jillian wasn't happy!!!

And calling you and demanding that you pick her up immediately...that's just plain unprofessional.

I think it's highly likely that the biting was her way of dealing with extreme anxiety. I'd be willing to bet that she won't do it when she gets settled into a good environment.

Please don't think all daycares are like that. They aren't.

Meanwhile, next time I am in Austin, give me the address of this place, will ya? I'd like to go down there and bite a few of them myself.

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

I sincerely hope Jillybean left some good marks on them before she left. Twisted Evil
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 06:30 am
the kicker of the enitre situation was that she scratched a Professors daughter on the cheek.

This scratch was about

---

that long.
Just on the cheek bone.

Her and the little girl were playing. And I think Jillian grabbed the ball.. or what ever toy they were playing with and it was in front of the " important" parents, so they took Jillian out, kept her in the hallway or on the other side of the room until we got there at 4 pm.
These mother fuckers have alienated my child for weeks.
These so called professionals made my child feel like the odd ball out.
I guarantee you, they talked about her in front of her face as if she wasnt there.
They treated her as if she was a pain in the ass

and I know this for a fact because I saw it.

And it isnt until now, that I have gone over my peeking scenes in my head that I realize what they were doing.

but who am I to take them on ya know?
Oh yeah, I agree she was scared, anxious, confused, and frustrated.
And thier way of handling it was to shut her away from everyone else , and sling more rules at her.

We have tried even changing our own parenting techniques 24/7 to ""help"".
She has a new bed time.
( not any more but )
We made sure she always used a spoon or fork because her teacher said it was important. ( cough cough bullshit)
No running
no playing chase
Jillian would often say while she was being changed words like " you yucky. You nasty"
I will be damned if i ever said that to her


Another thing we have noticed is when she is putting her toys to 'nap'

She wraps them up in a towel, or blanket.. so cute..
then pushes the backs of thier heads down and says " no! sleep "

She never pushes thier backs, never any other place but what would be the base of HER neck.
She did this to her dad the other day too when he was laying on the couch.
Pushed the base of his head really hard and said " NO.nap"
When he tried to sit up, she did it again

Yet another thing that was done to her that I know she didnt learn from me.

I could go on and on about little things like this that i see in her behavior that are going to drive me nuts.
But she is out of there and safe , and I cant prove a damn thing. I dont think they ever really " HURT" her, but I can see evidence of anger by ways of finger print bruises on her arms, and weird behaviors like the nap thing..
Since I cant do anything about it, i need to just let it go.
But my heart is reeling.

That is MY DAUGHTER they did that to . MINE

and they dis missed her because seh scratched aprofessors child on the cheek.
I know the antics they are describing as thier " finaly straw"
She reached over to take the ball or toy, and didnt stand still.
I bet you 10 thoussand dollars, as she does at home, she kept walking when trying to get said toy and just got too close.

That is the exact behavior I was hearing about before that they described as 'forceful" Rolling Eyes

ohhhh

i cant get on t his high horse so early in the morning.
i have a screaming headache from crying so much, and a gut ache from not letting my self cry enough.

Monday morning starts the hunt.

Pray for UT
If i get an oozie in my hand , they are GONE i tell ya... Cool
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 06:44 am
Now that I have seen diffrent day cares, i feel that I have really failed Jillian as I never looked INTO other opportunitites, I just took UT at face value and thought they would be better because they claim psychology , and developmental students as teachers.

Oh goddess I should have looked around more.
I just dumped my daughter at UT for convience, and because it was there.
I never researched it the way I am doing schools right now.

I never gave it a second thought.
Never.
I feel pretty shitty right about now
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 07:21 am
The school I want her in describes themselves as this -

Quote:
Often when one strolls through the alternately gooey or dusty mess that is our playground we find that our overarching philosophy is lost in the daily muck. Sometimes our school looks like a circus. Often it is difficult to see the worth in allowing children to be covered from head to toe in brown paint. But we assert that by creating an environment where the children are free to decorate the school and themselves as they see fit, we are removing the false security of rules which are adult created and adult enforced - which ultimately have very little to do with anything other than tradition or etiquette. We are actually setting the children up for the extremely complicated and difficult task of self-regulation and self-discipline. If we allow the children the freedom to explore all the possibilities that any given situation can offer, we are guiding them to a truer sense of who they are and how they think about the world. Similarly to the seemingly insignificant and unrelated little dots in a pointillist painting, each day at the Hutch joins with all the others to create an incredibly beautiful work of art.

At ***** we have attempted to create a world where a child is as free from the external pressures and expectations of our culture as possible. We realize that often we make assumptions about children entirely subconsciously - due only to what we think we remember about how childhood should be and what a child should do - and have therefore spent an enormous amount of time and energy delineating and exposing our prejudices and preconceptions about childhood. **** is a child's world. At the ***** our children are immediately attended to and can sit oftentimes one-on-one with a teacher for hours on end in an open-ended Socratic discourse on everything from bicycle riding, to literature, to physics, to death. This is a unique opportunity that is available at Habibi's. Even in our homes we are almost never able to put the rest of the universe on hold for nine hours and listen solely to our children's wants and needs (Nor should we - home is for Family not just Child). Likewise in our homes children can't jump on the couch covered in paint with clay on their fingers, because it is not solely their house it is the family's house. The old house called Habibi's, however, is their house. We have attempted to create a place where they are jointly in charge of the activities, arrangement and use of this, their space - a place where they are not just biding their time until Mom or Dad gets off work, but a place uniquely their own, where they are in charge of their day.

We do not have rules at Habibi's save: "Don't hurt anyone including yourself". ( at ut, they did not worry about jillian bitting herself. In fact they thought it was a relief that she wasnt bitting anyone else ) What we have instead are reasons. As stated, we have absolutely all day to talk to the kids. We never have to rush through something because it's time for language arts or math. So we spend a titanic amount of time talking with the children about why things aren't going exactly as they would have them at any given moment. We don't want children that are unthinkingly subordinate. We want children that will understand the rules that arise in other places in their lives and follow them because they make sense. At HH the child's desires and needs are paramount, but the teacher's role is not simply a supporting one. It is an active and guiding role - like a master craftsman in an apprenticeship relationship. Our goal at Habibi's is to be scaffolding that guides and supports the work in progress that is our children's cognitive development. We are mentors.

Our kids leave the Hutch with so much more than their ABCs and 123s. They all leave with a sense of themselves and a wonder and drive to know more about themselves and their surroundings.

When learning is isolated, as it becomes in Kindergarten and is in most preschools, the child does not have a larger sense of "the way things are" either in math, science or language. What we provide for the child is a big picture about what learning entails in preparation for the picking apart of the written or read language or the base-ten system (or whatever else) that follows.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 07:47 am
Right out of bed this morning, 2 days later,
this is what her arms look like now..


http://www.dropshots.com/photos/105265/20060910/064330.jpg




http://www.dropshots.com/photos/105265/20060910/064331.jpg


yeah.. finger bruises..
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Sep, 2006 08:00 am
Here is a picture of her under arm.

there are even some in the crooks of her arm, but I cant get a good picture of those..

http://www.dropshots.com/photos/105265/20060910/065759.jpg
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Sep, 2006 06:55 am
so, i am off daycare hunting today


wish me luck..

(sigh)
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Sep, 2006 08:26 am
Wowza shewolf.

I read this thread when you first started it but, as I am not a good arbitrator of "normal" and I'm not so good at resolving problem behavior, I didn't respond.

Then I lost track of the thread.

I'm sorry things are so crazy for you and the Bean right now.

Have you looked into Head Start at all?

I thought I'd also tell you about the preschool in my neighborhood that all of the parents rave about: It is run by a Korean Christian church and it costs 125.00 per month (unheard of in Portland). It is not day-care but pre-school and they have an incredible program.

Sometimes good places are found in unusual places.

Hugs to you, darling.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Sep, 2006 09:12 am
I woke up thinking about this.

I feel sure you CAN do something about the bruising and the shouting (which I would term "verbal abuse.") Child care facilities have to be very careful about these things, and I'll bet there is some legal recourse. Especially since you have pictures.

Ask Dys. I bet he can tell you exactly how & where to report them. Idea

I hope you will do something. It would be a service to the community. I hate to think what they're doing to the other children who are still there.

Meanwhile, I'm sure you can find something better. The one you quoted looks progressive and caring, although a bit unstructured. But each child is different, and you know Jillian. If structure isn't that important for her, then it wouldn't matter.
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Sep, 2006 03:09 pm
If Bean can get excommunicated for a scratch this big ---

Then what should happen to the person(s) who made those bruises?

I mean, if they have a photo of a scratch, you have a photo of a bruise.



You know, when my husband was a kid, he and his brothers and sisters would take the metal coffee can lids and bend them in half, tie them to a stick and chase each other around playing Wild Injuns.

That'll leave a "scratch" I'll tell you what.

Everyone in the neighborhood was afeared of his sister Nanny. She was a dead eye with a rock.

All 9 or 11 or whatever it was lived into adulthood.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Sep, 2006 11:42 am
I know.

Kids get scratched, bruised, hit, yelled at, kissed, pushed, hugged ..... everything
on a play ground..!


I SAW this scratch. It was about the size of a fingernail.
Period.

No blood, no bruises.. nothing.

Just a simple scratch.

(ug)

Im still upset over this.
I woke up every hour last night worrying about being able to take JIllian to my friends, then get to work, then get back home to let doggie out, then sneak into my friends house to check on bean, only to run back out to work again.

I said **** it
cancled my afternoon job.

I dont think I have eaten a whole meal in 2 days.
My belly is in a knot and Im just pissed.
Im crying at the drop of a hat, and stumbling over my words.

I know I just need to calm down and move on, but this just really bothers me. And no amount of horn blowing is going to make a diffrence. Mad
0 Replies
 
 

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