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Hyphenated Names??

 
 
husker
 
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 08:38 am
Let's talk about hyphenated names? Do you have one? Are you male or female? What does it mean for your identiy as a person??
ie
sally smith-jones
tom jones-smith
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 8,896 • Replies: 66
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LibertyD
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 08:49 am
I hyphenate my name sometimes for financial reasons -- much of my credit etc. was in my maiden name and so I use both names just to be sure there's no confusion. I usually just use my married name for simplicity's sake. It was hard to give up my maiden name after I got married, though, I guess because it was my name for 31 years before that. It is an unusual name, and everyone remembered it because of that or remembered me because of my unusual last name -- so I think that combined with it having been my name for so long probably made it hard to give it up. But my identity doesn't depend on either last name except for the obvious like letting people know who's on the phone or writing a letter etc.
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husker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 10:12 am
I actually know where a guy took the gals maiden name so they are both:

john smith-jones
sally smith-jones
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LibertyD
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 10:18 am
That's kinda cool! So what about you, Husker? Are you married and if so how did you and your wife handle the name thing?
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husker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 10:48 am
she just took mine - and that was many many years ago, but no stinking way I wanted her maiden name Wink she was happy be be gone with it.
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 11:18 am
I took my husband's name 'cause it was the thing to do at the time. After 37 years, I am used to it, so I don't think that I will be making any changes!
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 11:21 am
I didn't have a middle name -- hippie parents wanted to let me choose -- so I slid my maiden name over a slot and it's now my middle name. Always sign with at least middle initial, often whole thing. Like LibertyD, it's an unusual name and I was attached to it, so I'm glad I had that option. Would have been a really ponderous hyphenate.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 11:38 am
I hyphenate - I had my maiden name for nearly 30 years before I was married, plus my license to practice law is under my maiden name.

The advantage of a hyphenated last name (other than the fact that people ask about it all the time) is that telemarketers never, ever get it right. Very quick way to get rid of 'em. :-D

Actually, I've had this hyphenated name for 11 years and I find it kind of cool. I think if I took just my husband's name, it'd've been dull. Plenty of people have my first name and hubby's last name, but as far as I know I'm the only one in the world with my combined last name.
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husker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 11:38 am
Phoenix32890 wrote:
I took my husband's name 'cause it was the thing to do at the time. After 37 years, I am used to it, so I don't think that I will be making any changes!


congrats on the 37 years!
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Lorna
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 02:30 pm
I've actually thought about this one a lot. I'm not married (yet), not even engaged, but that's another story...I am VERY attached to my last name. I don't have any brothers (in fact, I'm an only child) and I'm the last in my line, as it were.

For these reasons I've always said that I would hyphenate, not only for my father, but for me as well. Don't wait to give up what I've been all my life, not like I think, being married will change who I am, but still. And I like the idea of my future children being that bit more connected to my side, event though children are not always automatically double-barrelled, even if the mother is.

When I moved to Scotland I discovered the tradition of using the mother's maiden name as a child's middle name, I like this a lot. It adds to the personal history without the baggage of a double barrell name.
Although, my name is actually a word, and with some other names would lead to wierd combinations. Although, it's common here, and any negativity would be overlooked.

Names are also hyphenated if the parents are unmarried, which in a makes it more commen than before and means you get one even if you don't want one.

As for me, I will probably hyphenate, and use the middle name option for my kids, when they happen.

Lorna
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morganwood
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 03:45 pm
Inmate #427069-wood
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marycat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 04:00 pm
morganwood, teehee!

Jespah, I like your hyphenated name. It's cool and unique. Everyone else's full names I don't know, so I'll have to take your collective word for it...

I don't plan to hyphenate because my last name is longish (10 letters) and B's last name is just ridiculous (9 letters and nearly impossible to spell or pronounce on the first try, and a very unusual name) and if we put the two together, there wouldn't be enough space on any of those forms where you have a limited amount of space for each name.

And our children would get beaten up on the playground for having such a dorky last name.

In a social context, it seems more proper to me when both members of a married couple have the same name, whether it be hers, his, a hyphenation, or amalgamation of the two.

Professionally, of course, it often behooves people to keep the names under which they've been working for years. I guess it depends on the people's ages and stages in their professional lives when they marry.

I will miss my own last name though. I like my name. I've had it for a long time. It's just unusual enough that few people have similar names, while people can still spell it correctly.
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Rae
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 May, 2003 04:03 pm
It is possible for the man to take the woman's name as his.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 12:15 am
I've been engaged 3 times, but never married, so that's that.
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CodeBorg
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 02:33 am
Great thread -- I've also thought about this a lot!
Personally I think hyphenated names are a bit cumbersome, and would avoid them.
But wait! Lots more vapid opinion follows:




Changing the surname depends on what the marriage is all about. So read the terms of the particular marriage contract, make sure it is clear, and then think about it's uniqueness and fundamental nature.

1) If the marriage is for two independent individuals to become interdependent individuals with a lasting commitment, then no identity change is appropriate.

2) If it's for two people to start a family, a new family that both people draw a great deal of identity from, then synthesize a new family name for both. John Smith and Martha Jones might choose Smines or Joth or something entirely new that represents the spirit of the new family just created.
Rose, Rivers, Waters, Granite, Steel, Shoals, Green, Lightning, Freedman, Sol, ... Pick a symbol, any symbol will do.

3) If part of the marriage vow implies ownership and obediance, then by all means adopt the new owner's name.

4) If either/both person has a long-standing great commitment to anything else in the world, then use that as their last name.
Millions of people use their religion or philosophy: Jain, Krishna, Ananda, ...
Many folks take their life-long occupation as their last name: Cooper, Baker, Wright, Boxer, LaForge, ...

5) Consider one Native American method: When a child becomes an adult, they receive an adult name in a rite of passage, that reflects their personality. Stand-With-Fists, Dances-With-Wolves, Dancing-Bear, Sitting Bull, ...

In this way, a name can actually be an avatar come to life! But can this be applied to the non-native world? Mike Tysonjerk, George BushLiar, Madonna BadSinger, George ThoroughGood, ... The world would be simpler and easier to deal with! Such a name is sort of a psycho-spiritual marketting tool. So, what are you selling? What are you being? What do you want from life?

6) A name has powerful influence, on you and your peers. So get out there and make a name for yourself. It's a hassle, but people are free to change it at anytime so, like a tattoo, just go for it. But if I meet one more Sunshine or Rainbow I'm gonna puke!

7) When changing your name, please consider corporate sponsorship. It actually is the new "family" for our modern society. Nike executives commonly get a Nike Swoosh tattoo'd somewhere on their body. And why do we have to stop at renaming just stadiums and sporting events?

Jennifer Briggs got $1000 for changing her name to Obi-Wan Kenobi Briggs.

Or, from Australia:
Quote:
... captain Garry Hocking told the Herald Sun newspaper that he had changed his name by deed poll to "Whiskas," a popular cat food.

The newspaper said that under the terms of the deal, which was said to be worth between A$100,000 (US$66,000) and A$200,000, Whiskas would make a "generous" donation to the club and a local animal welfare center.


And apparently it's for real:
Quote:
A man from England, has agreed to change his name to Mr Yellow-Rat Foxysquirrel Fairydiddle in exchange for a pint of beer. Richard James's friends all wrote stupid names on the back of a beer mat. They then paid 2,220B to change his name using their laptop. He got a pint in exchange. But James, who is unemployed, doesn't have the money to change his name back.

"It was funny at the time but now I'm brassed off with all the jokes," he tells The Sun. "I said I'd do it for a laugh if they bought me a pint. I enjoyed it for a while and had a credit card in my new name and informed my bank. But now I just want to be called Richard again."

Poor sod got stuck with a hyphen alright, but I guess everyone has their price!
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CodeBorg
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 04:01 am
Beep, beep, CodeBorg coming through! Make way ... lots more words.
... pardon, 'scuse me, oops pardon me, hey buddy scroll down there!



Should lesbian couples be allowed to hyphenate their names?
Very informative history and analysis, here.

Or, from Career Women Challenge Surname Law in Japan
Quote:
TOKYO -- Japanese law demands that a husband and wife have the same name, but Hiroko Mizushima and Satoshi Hasegawa did something unusual when they married. They used her surname for their family.

For $110 you can be George Burns or Whoopi Goldberg, but not just any name is acceptable. "In 1979, Michael Herbet Dengler tried to change his name to 1069, but a judge nixed the numerals in favor of having Dengler become Ten Sixty-Nine or One Zero Six Nine."

The last I heard, a judge refused to let someone change their name to match their social security number, so you're out of luck there.

And no, you cannot be God so don't even ask. The judge preferred "I Am Who I Am" instead. (First name "I Am", Last name "Who I Am", see also God becomes Who I Am).

Considering something a little more stylish? There are many options!
Mitch Maddox changed his name to DotComGuy when he stayed inside his apartment to surf the web for a full year.
But Santa Claus is not allowed, because eventually your obituary would be widely published.
Kiss My Ass is not allowed, because SOMEbody thinks "I'm not sure it serves any real purpose". Yeah, right.
NJWeedman.com is not allowed, because it reflects a criminal enterprise. (What? .com's are that bad?)
But The Scary Guy is okay. You could have that for a name!


Ok sorry, didn't mean to interupt... Hyphens just seem so bland, that's all.
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urs53
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 03:24 pm
I was 35 when we got married and I was glad to get rid of my maiden name. Looking back, I now know that I never really identified with it. I like my name now a lot better - it's me.

In Sweden it is very common for husband and wife to just keep their own names. One of my Swedish colleagues just asked me what my husband's name was - which is was kind of strange to me as a German.

Anyway, a hyphenated name would be just too much letters for me.
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 03:28 pm
Well, I have a couple of friends -here in Germany- who kept both their names after the marriages.

An English friend of mine kept not only her maiden name, but is also still caleed 'Miss' - and this after about 20 years being married.
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urs53
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 03:30 pm
I kinda like the idea that both husband and wife have the same last name. Of course, it's also easier.

Walter, does your friend know she is married? ;-)
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2003 03:33 pm
Yes, she does, as well as all the others.
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