The lifeguard stood up in his chair
Said "There's something fishy out there
A mermaid riding a shark
Headed straight for Noah's Ark?
That can't be right - quick give me some air
Three luscious babes on the beach one day....
Three luscious babes on the beach one day
Made me gasp for breath as they headed my way
Three luscious babes on the beach one day
Made me gasp for breath as they headed my way.
The jiggles and the wiggles and the motions,
wearing nearly nothing but emollients and lotions,
Three luscious babes on the beach one day
Made me gasp for breath as they headed my way.
The jiggles and the wiggles and the motions,
wearing nearly nothing but emollients and lotions,
They passed by though my lips whispered, "Stay!"
I'm so tired of the clouds and the gloom
As I stare out the window of my room...
I'm so tired of the clouds and the gloom,
As I stare out the window of my room.
Just pull down the shades,
And we'll all play charades
I'm so tired of the clouds and the gloom,
As I stare out the window of my room.
Just pull down the shades,
And we'll all play charades
Here in the dark of my semi-glossed tomb.
===
Said the hotdog to the all-beef patty
Said the hotdog to the all-beef patty
I'm feeling a little bit ratty,
I'm all shriveled up
And not quite up to snuff,
Said the hotdog to the all-beef patty
I'm feeling a little bit ratty,
I'm all shriveled up
And not quite up to snuff,
But nowhere near as bad as that poor little tatty
Despairing of anything to wear
The rabbit declared to the bear....
Despairing of anything to wear
The rabbit declared to the bear....
I've always felt
when combing my pelt
there should be more hair on the hare.
=====
There's nothing like a Sunday morn,
There's nothing like a Sunday morn,
Doesn't matter if what you wear's torn.
There's nothing like a Sunday morn,
Doesn't matter if what you wear's torn
You can lie there in the bed
'Til the fog clears from your head...
There's nothing like a Sunday morn,
Doesn't matter if what you wear's torn
You can lie there in the bed
'Til the fog clears from your head
And you wonder just where that fog's gorn
Just come back from a trip to the sea-
Well, the edge, far enough for me
Just come back from a trip to the sea-
Well, the edge, far enough for me.
The water was icy
The weather was dicey,
Now's time for a cuppa tea.
Hey, baby said the girl to the sailor
Hey, baby, said the girl to the sailor
Why don't we both visit my trailer?
Hey, baby, said the girl to the sailor
Why don't we both visit my trailer
The swab knowing his duty
took the hand of the Judy
Hey, baby, said the girl to the sailor
Why don't we both visit my trailer
The swab knowing his duty
took the hand of the Judy
And thereupon proceeded to nail her.
t'was just a financial transaction...
t'was just a financial transaction,
But, wow, did it get a reaction!
t'was just a financial transaction,
But, wow, did it get a reaction!
He reached for his money.
said "you're something else, honey.
You nearly put me in traction."
==
He slammed the trailer's screen door
He slammed the trailer's screen door
And a nail caught his shirt, which then tore
He went back for a needle
She started to wheedle
He slammed the trailer's screen door
And a nail caught his shirt, which then tore
He went back for a needle
She started to wheedle
So he gave her the needle twice more.
===
After a long afternoon snooze
