Limericks Of COVID

What follows is an accounting of my experience with the Mystery Illness. Background: I have been in the northern-middle of Massachusetts since March, alone. My wife is isolated with her mother on Cape Cod. Haven't seen them for a long time, but I am at higher risk because I go to work...

Work involves quality inspection of parts for medical devices. Essential... And two hours away from Cape Cod.

On Wednesday, 5/13/20 I could feel my mind starting to shut down for original thinking, so I took on a job that involved inspecting Double Ended Caps. Think two caps for soda bottles glued together. The only difference between the ends is that one end holds a test swab. So part of that afternoon was going Swab up, Swab down, Swab up, Swab down.

When I got home that evening, I thought I'd check my temperature...

32 Fahrenheit water will freeze.
212 water boils if you please.
I’d prefer a micrometer
But this cheap thermometer:
99.2? A matter of degrees.
- - Uh -oh…

To the cinema parking I goes.
They have tents, cones and cars lined in rows.
At work I have jobs
That consider the swabs.
Now I'm getting a swab up my nose!
- Written in parking lot 5/14/10 Test had negative results for COVID

A forced day from work must be taken
Look, that lawn could use mowing and rakin’.
I don’t feel much lower
I could use the lawn mower…
In retrospect I was mistaken.
- Not a good idea.

I spent Sunday morning on Zoom
And the rest of the day in my room
It even hurts reading
My head thinks it’s needing
Some time crawling back to the womb.
- 101.2°

Another day, another swab up the nose.
The only reason that I put on clothes.
And more isolation
It’s like a vacation
But not the one I would have chose.
- Monday morning

Waiting for results from the test
I should isolate, hydrate and rest.
And I would be lying
If I deny the day lying
In bed, that’s what I currently do best.
-Monday afternoon

Second test results came pretty quick.
No COVID found, now ain’t that slick?!
With COVID ruled out
I still won’t go out:
Whatever it is, I’m still sick!

COVID tests, notoriously Abbott’s,
Have unsettling habits
Too many false negative
To be usefully predicative.
It’s pregnancy tests without rabbits.
-Not the best thing I've ever written... but I was sick!

My body says something’s not right.
Fever, headaches, pains days and nights.
Two tests say it’s not
COVID that I’ve got.
I’m still sick, I want bragging rights!

Found acetaminophen, great!
My fever and aches to abate.
By my wife I was told
“Keep away if they’re old.”
(Seven years past their expiration date.)
-Wednesday, still have ibuprofen

Feeling better today, thanks for asking!
For me, please, some things to keep practicing:
Keep your hands clean,
Keep social distance between,
And a pox on those fools who aren’t masking!

That last was written a week ago. I'm still not well enough to return to work, but I'm much better. Still kinda wiped out, still some junk in the lungs...

Whatever this was, you don't want it.

COVID testing: results are too vague
Playing Russian roulette with the plague.
My 'health' is conditional
So my planning medicinal
Is drown sorrows with too much Laphroaig.


PS: If you want to copy any of this, feel free... please credit LimericksOfProtest.com if you would.