"Get your eyes off that skinny, young thing!"
Shrieked his wife, as she took a swing
He quickly booked
His goose was cooked...
And it's hard to run with your ass in a sling.
It was the halter top that caught his eye,
the spaghetti straps straining and he is just a guy,
It was the halter top that caught his eye,
the spaghetti straps straining and he is just a guy,
Not to mention the hips
And the ruby-red lips
He just pretended to look at the sky!
How long will a gal have to 'fake it'
To prove to herself, she can make it!
How long will a gal have to 'fake it'
To prove to herself, she can make it!
She'll have to play rough
and have the right stuff,
Till then she'll just have to shake it.
==
There were two brothers from _________
There were two brothers from Nantucket...
No, no, no....
There were two brothers from MAINE...
There were two brothers from Maine
Who went for a ride on a train
There were two brothers from Maine
Who went for a ride on a train
They were headed for Boston
but somehow we lost'em
'cuz no one's seen them again.
=
On top of old Smokey
you'd best not be pokey
On top of old Smokey
you'd best not be pokey
The Gals will laugh
Seeing you bath
And the size of your little okey dokey
A strapping maid from St Moritz....
A strapping maid from St Moritz
Decided to buy some new outfits
A strapping maid from St Moritz
Decided to buy some new outfits
In Rome she bought Gucci
But her tummy was "Pucci"
So back to the stores went the misfits
I'd rather be sailing in Britain...
I'd rather be sailing in Britain...
Than going to a Tea party sit-in.
The weather is dark
It's no fun at the park-
And I don't have no mischief to git-in!
Do you think it will ever be WARM?
Should we stay all vacation in the dorm?
Do you think it will ever be WARM?
Should we stay all vacation in dorm?
Stay in our sororities
And sit on the floor-at-ease
While all around thunders the storm?
Do you think it will ever be warm?
Should we stay all vacation in dorm?
Or should we just go
Where the wild breezes blow
Yes, lets do that- where's the harm?
Oh yes, the next line is required
Please excuse me, my brain must be tired
Oh yes, the next line is required
Please excuse me, my brain must be tired,
Just needs a Double A Battery
And a wee bit of flattery...
Oh yes, the next line is required
Please excuse me, my brain must be tired
I need some a deep snooze
or two shots of booze
tomorrow I'll be re-inspired.
I'm having a double martini
I'm having a double martini
for sad I am I don't fit in my bikini
I'm having a double martini
for sad I am I don't fit in my bikini.
My butt got so big--
Wide as a truck rig
Eating rice cakes laced with tahini!
(Tahini- sesame seed butter, yum-mm-m)
Let's go 'veg' out - watch the tv-
It is evening, and I'd like to see...
I'm having a double martini
for sad I am I don't fit in my bikini
But Dag that's ok,
We'd rather you nekkid by the way,
I'm having a double martini
for sad I am I don't fit in my bikini
But Dag that's ok,
We'd rather you nekkid by the way,
not some model from some magazini.
The lifeguard stood up in his chair
Let's go 'veg' out - watch the tv-
It is evening, and I'd like to see...
Something pointless and bland
on the other hand...
The lifeguard stood up in his chair
Said 'There's something fishy out there...'
The lifeguard stood up in his chair
Said "There's something fishy out there
A mermaid riding a shark
Headed straight for Noah's Ark?....
