A two-carat diamond for me,
And a solid gold watch for thee
A ball for the cat
A perch for the bat
And let's get something tasty for tea
Tonight, to dine? Let's go Italian
Tonight, to dine? Let's go Italian
said the big, Norwegian rapscallion.
Ja, Pasta galore marinara
Tonight, to dine? Let's go Italian
said the big, Norwegian rapscallion.
Ja, Pasta galore marinara
And lots of great wine,
ala clara
We, honestly, all- like to eat
Be it farina, or veggies or meat;
We, honestly, all- like to eat
Be it farina, or veggies or meat;
A frappe banana,
cigar from Havana
Oh my, ourselves we do treat!
Can you tell me the way to go roam?
Can you tell me the way to go roam?
And not just the way to go home?
I'm tired and I'm beat
But the soles of my feet
Are longing to dance in the foam.
A still moonlit beach for a stroll...
A still moonlit beach for a stroll
Let's go! It's good for the soul
A still moonlit beach for a stroll
Let's go! It's good for the soul
On the sand, neath the palms
Lost in thought, arm-in-arm,
A still moonlit beach for a stroll
Let's go! It's good for the soul
On the sand, neath the palms
Lost in thought, arm-in-arm,
Star flecked waves roll and roll.
Three roses deck my gateway
Three roses deck my gateway
What the smeg? Is it still Mother's Day?
Three roses deck my Gateway
What the smeg? Is it still Mother's Day?
And hey, what the hell
Three tulips on my Dell?
There's foliage all over my computer bay!!
Let's walk down the streets of Las Vegas,
wearing only the clothes that God gave us.
And if we get caught
We'll say it's too hot
Let's walk down the streets of Las Vegas,
wearing only the clothes that God gave us.
And if we get caught
We'll say it's too hot
But who's going to notice in Vegas?
(you go.)
Okay, smeg is the word of the day.
Okay, smeg is the word of the day.
Have you looked in your dictionar-ay?
Because that could allude
To a meaning so crude
That you'd frighten the genteel away
As I walked down the streets of Laredo
As I walked down the streets of Laredo
I lost my balance and tripped on a dado.
As I walked down the streets of Laredo
I lost my balance and tripped on a dado.
Broke my arm and leg, 'tis a pity.
So for damages, I'll sue the city.
It's worth a try. All the city can do is say "no".
There once was a lady who loved a statue...
There once was a lady who loved a statue
Tho' it never replied to her "'zat you?"
It stayed always stumm
It was blind, deaf and dumb
There once was a lady who loved a statue
Tho' it never replied to her "'zat you?"
It stayed always stumm
It was blind, deaf and dumb
And could never look right straight at you.
Oh my love, why have you grown cold?
Is it because time makes all things "old?"
Oh my love, why have you grown cold?
Is it because time makes all things "old?"
Your hair may be grey,
But I don't see you that way.
The old love's the best, so I'm told.
"Get your eyes off that skinny, young thing!"
Shrieked his wife, as she took a swing...
"Get your eyes off that skinny, young thing!"
Shrieked his wife, as she took a swing
He quickly booked
His goose was cooked...
