Walking in an old English garden
Tripped over a seal, said "Pardon!"
There no water here ?
You better watch dear
That your coat doesn't crack up and harden
Water is the elixir of life
I once expounded to me wife...
Water is the elixir of life
I once expounded to me wife...
"Then get rid of the beer!"
Said she, and I fear
There'll be no end to marital strife.
The roses are bloomin' today
The first ones that open in May...
The roses are bloomin' today
The first ones that open in May
They smell so sweet
I forget my feet
And their particular bouquet ( poo)
There was a young lady named Eva,
Who filled up her bath to receiva
There was a young lady named Eva,
Who filled up her bath to receiva
Young suitor named Ned
Who soon would be dead...
There was a young lady named Eva,
Who filled up her bath to receiva
Young suitor named Ned
Who soon would be dead
From a bite from her little pet beava
Its terrible how culture depends on sex..
Its terrible how culture depends on sex..
Its so boreing to know what comes next
However it can be clever
With a handsome young lover
who knows how not to go by the text
My aunt made a man from tin cans..
My aunt made a man from tin cans
who met up with a lion shaped man
They then met a scarecrow
and a little dog Toto
And Dorothy between them did dance.
A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse...
A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse
The pain in my bunions is getting worse
A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse
The pain in my bunions is getting worse
These pointy-toed shoes
Are not what to choose
For hiking! I'm filled with remorse...
Oh, my poor, poor aching back
I spent much too long in the sack...
Oh, my poor, poor aching back
I spent much too long in the sack...
I'm telling you, man,
I'll never sleep again!
O, my poor, poor aching back
I spent much too long in the sack
I'm telling you, man
I'll never sleep again
In a bed that feels like a torture rack.
There once was a lady who had an addiction
There once was a lady who had an addiction
To writing in forums, especially fiction...
There once was a lady who had an addiction
To writing in forums, especially fiction...
All night and all day
in every place and every way,
Man she really needed some Mitchum!
There once was a laddie named Kev,
There once was a laddie named Kev
Who people said was a bit of a Dev
Instead of working
He'd just be shirking
Buying wine and having a good Bev
A painter by the name of Buck
Was one day cursing his luck.....
A painter by the name of Buck
Was one day cursing his luck,
Instead of the porch,
he painted the Porsche,
And all he cud say was "fu*k" !!!
My mobile is part of my body
(LOl G )
My mobile is part of my body
Its stitched into my tummy...
My mobile is part of my body
Its stitched into my tummy
It makes my poems sound oddy
It makes my rhymes go bummy
The limerick path's stony and hard
The limerick path's stony and hard
Not following rules will get you barred
The limerick path's stony and hard
Not following rules will get you barred
From the Pub
There's the Rub
So no Ale for you by the Yard
The spring lambs are going boing....
The spring lambs are going boing
The birdies are singing their soing
The sap has arisen
But are we surprisen?
It happens when Spring comes aloing
Chocolate is my favourite food
