One comes back, I miss the other
I love that guy just like a brother
He's my mate, he's my bro,
He's my cousin, you know.
He doesn't know I did his mother
Christmas morn will soon be here
Look out you don't run out of beer
You'll get hankies and socks
You've been bad? You'll get rocks -
so you'll have to provide your own cheer.
And now New Year's eve is well nigh
One last time to really get high
When the alcohol flows
And you loosen your clothes
As the one you're with rubs your thigh
I'm planning a date on Valentine's Day
With the works and the go-all-the-way?
And the gaze-in-the-eyes
And then later, surprise
When you find that your date was a gay
Or maybe that's what you intended
Watch yourself, Mac, least said, soonest mended
Or maybe that's what you intended
Watch yourself, Mac, least said, soonest mended
Hope your valentine's date
Is the best, and your mate
Isn't one easily offended
A plane took a dip in the Hudson
And the pilot said "Folks, get your duds on.
We're going down Splatt!!
And right after that
They survived; but to find all their jobs' gone.
