He eagerly rushed to the bend
At the prospect of having a spend.
Though his dong dragged behind,
He was hoping to find
A beautiful lay at the end.
But he rounded the corner in vain
But he rounded the corner in vain
With his heart beating, was it in pain?
For leaving his dreams behind
But he rounded the corner in vain
With his heart beating, was it in pain?
For leaving his dreams behind
Of his chance to unwind
The available lays were too plain.
A bulimic girl from Brazil
A bulimic girl from Brazil
Kept binging and purging until
She retained but a fraction
Of her former attraction
And felt this was excessive still.
And measuring days out in spoons
And measuring days out in spoons
Gives good portion control, but quite soon
It is clear there's no savour
And measuring days out in spoons
Gives good portion control, but quite soon
It is clear there's no savour
For a sweet-loving craver,
So Weight watchers' foods are a boon.
Life's too short for you-all to diet
Life's too short for you-all to diet
Although most folks are tempted to try it
Life's too short for you-all to diet
Although most folks are tempted to try it
So eat what you want
And try not to grunt
But really you shouldn't fry it.
A lady I know is a flirt
A lady I know is a flirt
More, I'd say, she is a pervert
In SM games she excels
A lady I know is a flirt
More, I'd say, she is a pervert
In SM games she excels
I've spent time in her cells,
But prefer her big sidekick called Bert.
He's ever so deft with the straps
He's ever so deft with the straps
And you won't need to draw him no maps
He's ever so deft with the straps
And you won't need to draw him no maps
Has a masterful grip -
He's a whizz with the whip -
He's ever so deft with the straps
And you won't need to draw him no maps
Has a masterful grip -
He's a whizz with the whip -
Problem is, his thing doesn't fill the gaps
He better try some blue pills
He better try some blue pills
They're really a cure for all ills.
When you're on a date
They make you feel GREAT
He better try some blue pills
They're really a cure for all ills.
When you're on a date
They make you feel GREAT
and your doo-dah look like a big dill
(pickle)
Pickles can be sweet or sour
Pickles can be sweet or sour.
Some folks eat 'em by the hour,
Flavoured with dill
Pickles can be sweet or sour.
Some folks eat 'em by the hour,
Flavoured with dill
They eat them until
They're full up and don't want no mower.
Poetic licence is that
Tha' best keep it under thi' hat
"Poetic licence is that
Tha' best keep it under thi' hat,"
Said the canny auld Scot,
Thus revealing the plot.
Quoth he: "That, laddie, is that."
Now, McTag he knows his limericks,
Resorts to no underhand gimm(er)icks
Pickles can be sweet or sour.
Some folks eat 'em by the hour,
Flavoured with dill
They eat them until
All your wind makes your closest friends cower.
Now, McTag he knows his limericks,
Resorts to no underhand gimm(er)icks[/quote]
The same can't be said
Of Merry Andrew 'n' friends
But we had to, or else we'd look dim(ericks)
The gym is a place where you work
