At least it's set fine for some days
And herself has dispensed with her stays
In summery schmutter
Like two ton of butter
Finished off with an orangey glaze.
If that seems a little disloyal
If that seems a little disloyal
Doing myself a rhyme royal
If that seems a little disloyal
Doing myself a rhyme royal
Was the reason I wrote,
Not to just get her goat
If that seems a little disloyal
Doing myself a rhyme royal
Was the reason I wrote,
Not to just get her goat
But her temper's now reaching the boil
Well, somebody can't take a joke
"Well, somebody can't take a joke",
Says the sneerily arrogant bloke
As he once more belittles
His wife's proffered victuals
"Well, somebody can't take a joke",
Says the sneerily arrogant bloke
As he once more belittles
His wife's proffered victuals
And she in the eye doth him poke
Round here, ofttimes I make the grub
Round here, ofttimes I make the grub
When I cannot afford lunch at t'pub.
My special is tripe
Round here, ofttimes I make the grub
When I cannot afford lunch at t'pub.
My special is tripe-
I just give it a wipe
Tripe with onions, and then syllabub
Melton Mowbray is my kind of pie
Melton Mowbray is my kind of pie,
It's stodgy and heavy does lie.
Not for me lettuce leaves
Melton Mowbray is my kind of pie,
It's stodgy and heavy does lie.
Not for me lettuce leaves
Or beans tied in sheaves
With shallots in a pool of squid dye.
High art cuisine is a pain
High art cuisine is a pain
That's why I from it refrain
High art cuisine is a pain
That's why I from it refrain
I can do chips with fish
That is my kind of dish
High art cuisine is a pain
That's why I from it refrain
I can do chips with fish
That is my kind of dish
Or a roast, or a pudding or brains.
There was a young lad from Geelong
There was a young lad from Geelong
Whose dong was incredibly long.
There was a young lad from Geelong
Whose dong was incredibly long
So he took his long dong
To the billabong
And once there, he sang it a song:
"Oh great trouser snake with one eye
"Oh great trouser snake with one eye,
Without you I'm a commonplace guy.
You set me apart
"Oh great trouser snake with one eye,
Without you I'm a commonplace guy.
You set me apart
You are dear to my heart
Nearer still to my navel, say I."
As the billabong rang to the lay
As the billabong rang to the lay
A goanna approached him to say
"At the bend in the creek
As the billabong rang to the lay
A goanna approached him to say
"At the bend in the creek
There's a quoll that can't speak
But she's awfully willing to play.
He eagerly rushed to the bend
He eagerly rushed to the bend
At the prospect of having a spend.
Though his dong dragged behind,
He was hoping to find
