But owners exact a high price
Which sometimes you have to pay twice
And tiny pink nipple
Will make you pay triple
When she's got your nuts in a vice
And still we so boldly plow on
But wait 'til the husband has gone
And still we so boldly plow on,
But wait 'til the husband has gone,
The horns on his head
Are made on his bed
And still we so boldly plow on,
But wait 'til the husband has gone,
The horns on his head
Are made on his bed
While he lies dead drunk on the lawn
She told me to just build a house
Then she would take me for her spouse
She told me to just build a house
Then she would take me for her spouse
But I said,"No thanks"
I'm safer with wanks
Than wed to the brain of a louse."
She picked a big rolling-pin up
She picked a big rolling-pin up
and said 'don't speak to me like that' chuck!
A blow from this, will cause a cessation
In your habitual masturbation
Then you'll have no choice but to F*ck
There once was a group of psychotics
Who dabbled in building robotics
x
There once was a group of psychotics
Who dabbled in building robotics
They made one that squeaked
And did funny leaks
There once was a group of psychotics
Who dabbled in building robotics
They made one that squeaked
And did funny leaks
Then left that and tried aeronautics
A wonderful thing is a pie
A wonderful thing is a pie
Be it Blackbird, Apple or Thai.
Warm and delicious,
to hell with nutritious
A wonderful thing is a pie,
Be it Blackbird, Apple or Thai;
Warm and delicious,
To hell with nutritious,
Who cares that we might have to die.
I gazed at the goods on display
I gazed at the goods on display
A wondeful carnal buffet
I gazed at the goods on display,
A wondeful carnal buffet,
It's all on the town
So stuff it all down
I gazed at the goods on display,
A wondeful carnal buffet,
It's all on the town
So stuff it all down
Or get the heck out of my way
I saw a nice lady today
I saw a nice lady today
Who said that I would have to pay
I enquired how much
For one speedy thrutch...
*We use "to see" as a eupemism for visiting a lady of doubtful virtue.
"Where is Charles today?"
"Oh, he's gone to see the Duchess."
Underneath The Mullions by Barbara Cartland.
I saw a nice lady today
Who said that I would have to pay
I enquired how much
For one speedy thrutch...
Depends on what games we shall play
I tire of self righteous fools
With thesis and incessant rules
With so much to say
I tire of self righteous fools
With theses and incessant rules
With so much to say
But who might just may
Save you diving in all the wrong pools.
A parson whose pulpit was high
Looked down at his flock with a sigh
A parson whose pulpit was high
Looked down at his flock with a sigh
Like babies they slept
On the cross jesus wept
A parson whose pulpit was high
Looked down at his flock with a sigh
Like babies they slept
On the cross Jesus wept
And his eyes rolled up to the sky.
The girl in the front pew was pure
The girl in the front pew was pure
She'd never even trimmed her fur
Her kind's really rare
And she would not share
But that kind of style can't endure
A gal with amazing good looks
A girl with amazing good looks
Unnaturally fond of her books
Was approached by a man
A girl with amazing good looks
Unnaturally fond of her books
Was approached by a man
Who held out a pan
And asked the sweet lass if she cooks.
She flashed him a glance of disdain
