Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Now matrons are known to be keen
On thinking on what can't be seen
But they will not think
If they cannot drink
When thirsty they all will grow mean


Now, somewhere the rythm went off
We tried to cover with a cough
Since we cannot count
To any amount
So sadly the lim'rick we scoff


As punishment Monday is nigh

As punishment Monday is nigh
And is picky Spendius by?
He can't change his speech
To encompass a breach
Of rhythm, so easy for I.

It's a cold clear washed morning in Devon
With the songthrushes singing to Heaven

It's a cold clear washed morning in Devon
With the songthrushes singing to Heaven
My goodness, how sweet
With a tweet tweet tweet tweet

It's a cold clear washed morning in Devon
With the songthrushes singing to Heaven
My goodness, how sweet
With a tweet tweet tweet tweet.
What we need now is some leaven!

So let's us all meet at The Pump.

So let us all meet at The Pump.
Hi, my name's Forrest, Forrest Gump
Like my momma said

So let us all meet at The Pump.
Hi, my name's Forrest, Forrest Gump
Like my momma said
"FG's still in bed,
With a lass with a big,soft rump."

The church bells were ringing at noon

The church bells were ringing at noon
The preacher woke up from his swoon
He'd drunk too much booze
Cause he had the blues
And now he was mad as a loon

The sermon began, he was drunk
The organ was playing some funk
He barfed in the grail
Obscured the detail
And used the altar as a bunk

The children of god were all shocked

The children of god were all shocked,
Hotlines to the bishop were blocked.
The good Christians' hair
Curled up in the air.

The children of god were all shocked,
Hotlines to the bishop were blocked.
The good Christians' hair
Curled up in the air
But remember that God is not mocked

I never quite knew what that meant

I never quite knew what that meant
That letter the state always sent
A note of due pay
I figured OK
Ignore it and they will relent


A woman once went to Japan
To sell her body to a man
She traveled from China
To sell her vagina
She thought that it was a good plan

But when she came into the land
The geisha's were hot in demand

But when she came into the land
The geishas were not in demand
"Hire you as a whore?
Just get out that door!"
So the trip didn't work out as planned

A courtesan's life is complex

A courtesan's life is complex
singing, dancing and maybe sex,
for all those sorry men,
who for reason, like women

A courtesan's life is complex
singing, dancing and maybe sex,
for all those sorry men,
who for reason, like women
Are stupid to let themselves vex


That last one was barely all right
It works if with rythm we fight
And shed our respect

That last one was barely all right
It works if with rythym we fight
And shed our respect
For those who neglect
The path away from the trite.

-----------------------------
This path, I've often heard

This path, I've often heard

or, to tweak it into the frames of the limerick...

This path, as I have often heard
Can sometimes seem pretty absurd
Us rambling mad loons
Like silly cartoons
Are caught up in rhyming our word

But mind you, don't go out of style

But mind you, don't go out of style
And don't underestimate guile
Which blokes never have
They meet in the lav
And stand in an orderly file.

It makes thing quite simple you see

It makes thing quite simple you see
And shoulder to shoulder they pee

It makes things quite simple you see,
And shoulder to shoulder they pee,
A glance and a wink
A shuft at the dink

Cyr. A shuft is a slang word for look. As in "I had a quick shuftie as she picked up the feather-duster".

When you copy and past the "so far" of the verse you can then edit obvious errors as I just did with "things". I did it once to one of Clary's lines which had too many syllables and didn't scan. She must not have noticed otherwise I might have felt her wrath. OOOOOOOoooooooooow!

It makes things quite simple you see,
And shoulder to shoulder they pee,
A glance and a wink
A shuft at the pink

Thanks spendi. I'm gettng quite an education out of this
And feel free to edit any misspellings you might find in my lines.

It makes things quite simple you see,
And shoulder to shoulder they pee,
A glance and a wink
A shuft at the dink
While quietly thinking "oh gee"


Yes, all men are suckers for tits
These things make a man lose his wits

Yes, all men are suckers for tits
These things make a man lose his wits,
Big, smooth, white fat ones
Like those of Miss Jones,
Assuming they're free of the zits.

But owners exact a high price
Which sometimes you have to pay twice