Perpetual Limerick (:3=

A beer tastes much better in june
When drunk from a sweetly held spoon

A beer tastes much better in june
When drunk from a sweetly held spoon
The sun on your face
No stress and no race

A beer tastes much better in june
When drunk from a sweetly held spoon
The sun on your face
No stress and no race
And the cat jumped over the moon.

The news on the telly tonight

The news on the telly tonight
The usual famine and fight
Twix apples and dades
Humanity fades
While thinking it's doing it right


Conscientiousness is such a bore

Conscientiousness is such a bore
Except when it's found in a whore
It's then quite okay

Conscientiousness is such a bore
Except when it's found in a whore
It's then quite okay
'Cause she means to say
She is overworked and quite sore


My neighbor wants to dig a hole
To china, yes that is his goal
And he needs no tools
No overpaid fools
'Cause my neighbor, he is a mole


A small grassy mound by the road

A small grassy mound by the road
Is where some one fly-tipped a load
It must have been spare
For it to get there.


(Cyr-you might not know but here fly-tipping is the illegal dumping of a load of rubbish to save paying the fees at the official tip or possibly other reasons.)

A small grassy mound by the road
Is where some one fly-tipped a load
It must have been spare
For it to get there.
But now it's the home of a toad


(Spendius- No, I didn't know that. Is that a term or just artistic freedom? In any case, it's good )


A fisherman ate his own bait

A fisherman ate his own bait,
Who went by the name of Sweet Kate
Her indulgent grin
Had lured the lad in



Cry- It's a common usage. I think the actual phrase is in the legislation against it.

A fisherman ate his own bait,
Who went by the name of Sweet Kate
Her indulgent grin
Had lured the lad in
And when he knew it was too late


Now Katie had lured him to bite
The fisherman put up a fight

Now Katie had lured him to bite
The fisherman put up a fight
But was overcome
Like everyman, dumb,
When flying in that kind of kite.

The engagement lasted a while
Kate being an expert in guile

The engagement lasted a while
Kate being an expert in guile
She's limber like few
And not shy nor blue
And fisherman died with a smile

A fox had a chicken to pluck

A fox had a chicken to pluck
But first he tucked into a duck
But some hounds took scent
And after him went
And he ended up the dumb cluck.

The Master came up with the hunt

The Master came up with the hunt
And came up with some cash for a punt

The Master came up with the hunt
And came up with some cash for a punt
He kept coming up
So that his summing up

The Master came up with the hunt
And came up with some cash for a punt
He kept coming up
So that his summing up
Was ever so odd, back to front

The uneatable chased by a mob

The uneatable chased by a mob
Is occasion for some to shout 'Snob'
But in Devon you know
It's the ordinary Joe

The uneatable chased by a mob
Is occasion for some to shout 'Snob'
But in Devon you know
It's the ordinary Joe
Whose likely to have a big knob.

And that's what the ladies like best

And that's what the ladies like best
So don't get yourself put to the test
If you have a teeny
Pathetic-siized weenie

Oh dear!

And that's what the ladies like best ,
So don't put yourself to the test.
If you've a teeny
Finger-sized weenie
It pays to avoid the scragged nest.

Now matrons are known to be keen
On thinking on what can't be seen

* A limerick is a five-line verse rhymed a-a-b-b-a, in which the first, second and fifth lines contain three feet (one iamb and two anapests), while the third and fourth lines contain two beats (usually two anapests).

The rhythm is felt to be comical and thus the subject should also be.

An anapest is a foot consisting of two short syllables followed by a long one. A foot is a metrical unit with varying number of syllables one of which is stressed.