She entered a room with a man
Holding a gun in his hand
She opened her lips
He pushed in some chips
Then he wafted her with her fan.
She said, "Oh that feels oh so nice
Can you do it not once but twice."
She said, "Oh that feels oh so nice
Can you do it not once but twice?"
So more of the chips
Passed through those same lips
Chased by Coca-Cola on ice.
+++++++++++++++++++
Now Sister is in the fast lane
And it's here she plans to remain
Now Sister is in the fast lane
And it's here she plans to remain
The vows all eschewed
She's now downright rude
Now Sister is in the fast lane
And it's here she plans to remain
The vows all eschewed
She's now downright rude
Just one sin away from profane.
Her habit looks nice, don't you think?
Her habit looks nice don't you think?
She secretly wishes it pink
With ruffles and bows
And black fishnet hose
Her habit looks nice don't you think?
She secretly wishes it pink
With ruffles and bows
And black fishnet hose
And a collar so soft made of mink.
But black can also be stunning
But black can also be stunning
Just made for a girl so cunning
Accented with pearls
Her rosary swirls
You're a quick learner Kirstie.
But black can also be stunning
Just made for a girl so cunning
Accented with pearls
Her rosary swirls
To give some guys a good dunning.
But hubris is all very well
But hubris is all very well
In doses so large you can tell
With ego so great
He's sealing his fate
But hubris is all very well
In doses so large you can tell
With ego so great
He's sealing his fate
You can hear the old cracked bell knell.
"Not so fast my sweet girl", he said
As he put new sheets on the bed
"Not so fast my sweet girl", he said
As he put new sheets on the bed
"A hot date tonight
If she's feeling right
I don't want your fleas on her head."
But Dad still loves Snookums the best
But Dad still loves Snookums the best
Even though he chewed up his vest
And when he does farts
He breaks all the hearts
But Dad still loves Snookums the best
Even though he chewed up his vest
And when he does farts
He breaks all the hearts
From the Missisippi, to way out west!
A gentleman won't kiss and tell
A gentleman won't kiss and tell
Unless he has something to sell
Then he'll blab it out
In fact he will shout
And go around ringing a bell.
There's no pricks left in Snookum's ears
He's been with Dad too many years
There's no pricks left in Snookum's ears
He's been with Dad too many years
But life still is sweet
When offered a treat
Of beef bones and his favorite beers
Dad shipped him to Spain in a crate
Dad shipped him to Spain in a crate
That's something I do denigrate
Suppose the ship sunk
With Snook in his bunk
Dad shipped him to Spain in a crate
That's something I do denigrate
Suppose the ship sunk
With Snook in his bunk
And never again would he mate.
I sit here and ponder about
Why Henry the 8th got his gout
He was an old fart
I sit here and ponder about
Why Henry the 8th got his gout
He was an old fart
Who needed a cart
When his Queen had started to pout.
Good living was what did him in.
Good living was what did him in.
Not the real stuff like living in sin
Beheading his chicks
Is really 'tres hick'
Good living was what did him in.
Not the real stuff like living in sin
Beheading his chicks
Is really 'tres hick'
When they make such a raucous din.
His dining room habits were dire
