Then a knocking came to the door
Just as Gert began her encore
Then a knocking came to the door
Just as Gert began her encore
Who's there?, Gertie called
Oh Gee, I'm appalled
Just look at the state of the floor....
There's clothes lying all over the place
And no make up on my poor face
What will they all think?
I'm into the drink?
There's clothes lying all over the place
And no make up on my poor face
What will they all think?
I'm into the drink?
And I can't remember my place.
I think there's a parson somewhere
I think there's a parson somewhere
Preaching fire & brimstone to scare
I think there's a parson somewhere
Preaching fire & brimstone to scare
He's looking for Gert
The grubby,sweet flirt
Who's just galloped off up a stair.
A door to a room is ajar
I think there's a parson somewhere
Preaching fire & brimstone to scare
He's looking for Gert
The grubby,sweet flirt
Who's just galloped off up a stair.
A door to a room is ajar
and Gert's in there looking bizarre!
Look, he's now undressed
A door to a room is ajar
and Gert's in there looking bizarre!
Look, he's now undressed
And soon to be pressed
Like a road kill under a car.
For Gert treats them all just the same
For Gert treats them all just the same
Be they Rhymer, Spendi, or Mame
For Gert treats them all just the same
Be they Rhymer, Spendi, or Mame
And old WhoodaThunk
Who gets a good dunk
If he comes up close to this dame.
A butler came in with the drinks
A butler came in with the drinks
And took note of Gert's lurid winks.
Then our femme fatale
Enjoyed a highball
On the table, the floor, & the sinks.
++++++++++++++++++++++
The doorman arrived in a flash
The doorman arrived in a flash
Asking for all of our cash
We outright said NO
Get out of here - GO!
The doorman arrived in a flash
Asking for all of our cash
We outright said NO
Get out of here - GO!
He turned quick and did a fast dash.
Then Gert stubbed her toe on a pot.
Then Gert stubbed her toe on a pot.
Thank Goodness the pot was not hot
She cried anyway
"Oy oy, oy oy vay
A broken toe I sure have got"
Now Spendi went out to the pub
Now Spendi went out to the pub
But after he gave Mame a rub
The application
Of embrocation
Now Spendi went out to the pub
But after he gave Mame a rub
The application
Of embrocation
Was followed by hours in the tub.
They drank a brew with their buds
And ate pretzels with their suds
They danced all night long
To seventies songs
They drank a brew with their buds
And ate pretzels with their suds
They danced all night long
To seventies songs
The good ones as well as the duds
"Rockin' Robin"'s a favourite of mine
"Rockin' Robin"'s a favourite of mine
I've loved it since I was nine
Who sings it again?
Knew when I was ten!
Oh back then my memory was fine.
Michael Jackson was quite a singer
Michael Jackson was quite a singer
While incessantly popping his finger
Michael Jackson was quite a singer
While incessantly popping his finger
He is a strange dude
Hate to see him nude!
One thing I know - he's not a swinger.
Donny Osmond still croons a tune
Donny Osmond still croons a tune
While saints hide their heads in a dune
Twixt Mum and his teeth
He lives underneath
A hairstyle that has been perfumed.
McTag's cleansed the stables again
He's locked up sweet Gert in his pen
But I'll turn her loose
She suits not a noose
And midnight's been struck by Big Ben.
The servants were now all agog
