Afterward in the vestibule
In the crush was one merry fool
Who gave Gert a nod
And whispered, "You're God!
I can tell you need a fresh tool"
Now the parson had spied this chat
Now the parson had spied this chat
And stopped the Magnificat
To approach the two
And said, "This won't do.
In God's House there's no tit-for-Tat."
Concerned for the soul of the sinner,
He invited Tat home for dinner
Which was served by Gert
In an unbuttoned shirt
And everyone there was a winner.
++++++++++++++++++++++
But Tat still harbored dark wishes
And offered to help with the dishes
But Tat still harbored dark wishes
And offered to help with the dishes
The parson declined
And tapped he behind
It's my job to provide the plishes.
But Gert was in need of a change
But Gert was in need of a change
And made plans that some would deem strange.
Her legs nicely shaved, she
Learned that the Navy
Was docked & quite sexually derange(d).
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Loud cheers rang forth at the shore
Loud cheers rang forth at the shore
All the boys thought Gert was a whore
From the way she dressed
In her Sunday best
And her response to their wild roar.
But hubby arrived looking hot
Loud cheers rang forth at the shore
All the boys thought Gert was a whore
From the way she dressed
In her Sunday best
And her response to their wild roar.
But hubby arrived looking hot
He pulled up in the parking lot.
He drew out his gun
But hubby arrived looking hot
He pulled up in the parking lot.
He drew out his gun
Which flashed in the sun
And from it came forth just one shot.
A hush settled upon the air
As the parson said a soft prayer
For now it seemed that
He'd shot a stray cat
Whose sad fate it was to be there.
++++++++++++++++++++++
The tabby was buried at sea
The tabby was buried at sea,
With full pomp and honours you see.
But when she splashed down
You could see them all frown
As a reef shark devoured her for tea.
The shark lived on cats if it could
The shark lived on cats if it could
She found the furry parts quite good
and though it sounds iffy
and just a bit fishy
She poured duck sauce on the tails of the Pud.
A basket of kittens went floating
A basket of kittens went floating
Those kritters were mad keen on boating
A basket of kittens went floating
Those kritters were mad keen on boating
And what do you think?
Gert dived in the drink
On kittens she was a doting.
Her frock soon got wrapped round her head
Her frock soon got wrapped round her head
But no one gave Gert up for dead.
Though somewhat bizarre
She'd found a sandbar
And so she stood on the seabed.
With the ship's crew's minds now at ease
Gert proceeded with her striptease.
Her frock cut the air
Landing over there
And slowly slipped beneath the seas.
+++++++++++++++++++++
She wore little more than a smile
She wore little more than a smile
And worked on her nails with a file
She flexed her fingers
Which she called bringers
When working alongside her guile.
The first mate said "Lower a boat".
?
but seriously y yall actin all hard
my neighbor could beat yo ass and hes a retard
The first mate said "Lower a boat,
I see something here to report"
The first mate said "Lower a boat,
I see something here to report.
Down there in the drink,
With a come-hither wink,
Stands a girl with no petticoat."
+++++++++++++++++++++
The rescue ran into a glitch
The rescue ran into a glitch
The poor girl wore nary a stitch
And nude rescuees
Just cause seamen to freeze
Or else they go scratching their itch
So what if I finish the rhyme?
It wouldn't be for the first time
So what if I finish the rhyme?
It wouldn't be for the first time
But doesn't it mean
That others on t'scene
Are deprived? But is this a crime?
It's sultry and cloudy and warm
It's sultry and cloudy and warm
And the flies are begining to swarm
It's sultry and cloudy and warm
And the flies are begining to swarm.
When it gets hotter
You'll need a swatter
