When they brought him before Old Bish
His Grace granted the man a last wish
Tryagain, hurriedly asked him
When they brought him before Old Bish
His Grace granted the man a last wish
Tryagain, hurriedly asked him
If he'd a spare skin
Or instead if he'd a old dish
Old Bish reached in his pocket
And pulled out a small gold locket
Old Bish reached in his pocket
And pulled out a small gold locket.
'Twas etched Burn-In-Hell
By his love child, Nell,
And contained his defrocking docket.
Bish's list was not very long
Naming vicars who had done wrong:
One stole a church bell,
Another "met" Nell,
And a third preached wearing a thong.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
The rumor in this rectory
Was that Guiness flowed fast and free
The rumor in this rectory
Was that Guiness flowed fast and free
Red noses abound
And joyous songs sound
At parties for the yeomanry.
Which the Duchess gladly attends
Which the Duchess gladly attends
On alternating weekends.
Though 'twas a bad omen
When two or three yeomen
Drove off in her Mercedes Benz.
+++++++++++++++++++++
They found it downroad just a piece
With the Duchess disrobed to her knees
They found it downroad just a piece
With the Duchess disrobed to her knees
Her kecks at half-mast
The vicar aghast
Shouting "Will wonders ever cease?"
She threw him a smile and a wink,
As she teetered right on the brink
She threw him a smile and a wink,
As she teetered right on the brink
"This sinning will cost her",
Said the Earl of Gloucester,
As he casually tossed back a drink.
*****
The evening had turned quite Satanic
The evening had turned quite Satanic
With shades of the old Aramic
And what with the freaks
And the high wild shrieks
The evening had turned quite Satanic
With shades of the old Aramic
And what with the freaks
And the high wild shrieks
Of the Duchess astride a Hispanic.
Seems Juan begged her to relinguish,
But the Duchess could not distinguish
His need to translate
Which sealed poor Juan's fate
For she thought he said "cunnilingus."
++++++++++++++++++++++
Juan's interment's scheduled at three
I give up WT
What's interment's? I feel unable to proceed,despite trying, without that vital knowledge.
spendius wrote:I give up WT
What's interment's? I feel unable to proceed,despite trying, without that vital knowledge.
Burial.
(In her enthusiasm the Duchess smothered Juan.
)
Juan's internment's scheduled at three
So that's the end of his whangee
The duchess is sad
But it's not so bad
<<Are we burying him or making him an intern?
Juan's internment's scheduled at three
So that's the end of his whangee
The duchess is sad
But it's not so bad
Juan's gone without publicity.
+++++++++++++++++++
Good yeomen aren't easy to find
Good yeomen aren't easy to find
Especially ones who are kind
Who'll hold themselves back
When on the right track
Good yeomen aren't easy to find
Especially ones who are kind
Who'll hold themselves back
When on the right track
And won't blab once they have resigned.
++++++++++++++++++++++
A tour bus enroute to the zoo
A tour bus enroute to the zoo
Got stuck in the road in some glue
The driver got out
And started to shout
The evening had turned quite Satanic
Poor Jeannie began to panic
Stuck in a bottle
Her love at full throttle
For 'Master' turned downright.....
MANIC!
A tour bus enroute to the zoo
Got stuck in the road in some glue.
The driver got out
And started to shout
"What the hell are we gonna do?"
There was a tall, stately giraffe
Who, noticing this awful gaffe
There was a tall, stately giraffe
Who, noticing this awful gaffe
Walked over to look
And got its feet stuck
And everyone had a good laugh.
So somebody rang up the zoo
So somebody rang up the zoo
But the keeper was in the loo.
A bit constipated,
He waited and waited
