The cowboy's 'friend' was Freddie
Who was nearly always ready
For a pig in a poke
And that is no joke
When the cowboy said "Hold steady!"
Such things were not new to dear Fred
Such things were not new to dear Fred
Parts of him were chafed a bright red
Such things were not new to dear Fred
Parts of him were chafed a bright red
The word is "futter"
Which rhymes with butter
But maybe that's best left unsaid.
Once there was a Limerick writer named Dan,
Who's Limerick never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know"
"It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I can!"
There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial,
There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial.
Hith diction, onth crithsp,
Thuccumbed to hith lithsp
What has he done-this Tryagain?
He's wrecked this nice thread with his pen.
He's chosen a rhyme
Which no-one can mime,
He's made a big BONG like Big Ben.
With aabba and 88558 isn't it good manners to choose a ready rhymer for a.
It reminds me of those gleeful spoilers who love giving X,Y and Z on Acronyms.
So to get the thread back on course
I've had to get on my high horse
Which pains me no end
I'd much rather spend
On fun with a touch of neat sauce.
Now Fred looked real cute in his chaps
<< I think you're being a little hard on The Beaver, Spendius. If there was a problem, it was probably due to my "lisping" lines. Let's edit:
There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial.
His diction, once crisp,
Succumbed to his lisp
In the midst of a thweeper commercial.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Now Fred looked real cute in his chaps
Which he wore when he baked gingersnaps
Now Fred looked real cute in his chaps
Which he wore when he baked gingersnaps
The gap at the back
Displayed his dark crack
Bending over buttering baps.
You're probably right.I was feeling grizzly.You solved it very nicely I must say.
It was at the vicarage do
When he got some **** on his shoe
It was at the vicarage do
When he got some **** on his shoe.
And everyone knew
That the **** on his shoe
Had been shat by the vicar's Shih Tzu.
++++++++++++++++++++++
The vicarage hullabaloo
The vicarage hullabaloo
Was solved by a bit of kung-fu
Lads from the next village
Tried to burn, rape and pillage
The vicarage hullabaloo
Was solved by a bit of kung-fu
Lads from the next village
Tried to burn, rape and pillage
Ending up in deep doody-do.
The vicar was most mortified
He cried and he cried and he cried
But Nell grabbed poor Joe
The vicar was most mortified
He cried and he cried and he cried
But Nell grabbed poor Joe
And fluffed him, that ho
The vicar was most mortified
He cried and he cried and he cried
But Nell grabbed poor Joe
And fluffed him, that ho,
Not in the church but just outside.
The vicar saw all from his perch
In the belltower of the church.
It left him weak-kneed
But slightly intrigued
And stiffened his plans for research.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The vicar was paid to fight sin
The vicar was paid to fight sin
but sadly, they paid him with gin.
'Tween the nave and the apse,
came his final collapse.
He will spend out his days in the bin.
------------------------------------
Defender of the faith was he
Defender of the faith was he
Also a late night disc jockey
Defender of the faith was he
Also a late night disc jockey
Where the disco dames
Escape from their lanes
And acting as if they are free.
When they brought him before Old Bish
How very sad that a newbie to this thread should be subjected to such an unprovoked attack. It is clear the attacks would become increasingly virulent, before I was proficient in the art. For the record this was the completed version:
There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial,
Because when out wooing
Whatever he was doing
At ten he'd insert his commercial.
Get a thicker skin Try. I was only provoking you.
When they brought him before Old Bish
When they brought him before Old Bish
His Grace granted the man a last wish
