Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Install lightning rods just in case
And keep a nice smile on your face
If things get too sticky
Just take the Micky
And you'll soon find yourself at first base.



There's plenty of fish in the sea.

There's plenty of fish in the sea,
Come fishing for women with me.
My wallet is bulgin'
Come on, let's indulge in

There's plenty of fish in the sea,
Come fishing for women with me.
My wallet is bulgin'
Come on, let's indulge in
A hunt for some sweet chickadee.


But prepare to be travelling light

But prepare to be travelling light
In the search for nocturnal delight

But prepare to be travelling light
In the search for nocturnal delight
And seek the dark spaces
In all the right places
Then slip away into the night.


Some hearts will be broken I know
But that's the way things sometimes go

Some hearts will be broken I know
But that's the way things sometimes go
When one looks for a date
Only misery is one's fate

Some hearts will be broken I know
But that's the way things sometimes go
When one looks for a date
Only misery is one's fate
If you're dating a gigolo.

++++++++++++++++++++

Poor lighting and too many beers

Poor lighting and too many beers
Is perfect for changing the gears
The wrinkles don't show
Just the eyes all aglow

Poor lighting and too many beers
Is perfect for changing the gears
The wrinkles don't show
Just the eyes all aglow
As the booze makes her outshine her peers.

Next morn, abed at your villa,
It seems that on the next pilla'
A cross-dressing man
Who calls himself Stan
Snores loudly and reeks like Godzilla.

With Stanley ensconced in your bed,
The fears race through your poor head.
But one seems to linger
And upon his finger
A ring confirms that which you dread.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Your "wife" stirs and opens his eyes

Your "wife" stirs and opens his eyes
And my inspiration just dies
But to rescue the thread
I'll pretend I'm not dead
And remind you of my sweet Nell's sighs.


What was it she did that was wrong?

What was it she did that was wrong?
Oh, I think we knew all along...
For Stan she was not
Nor was she as hot
Back into your pants goes your dong.

Nelll's as dead as a doornail, so there
Leave her be or I'll tear out my hair
This is about STAN
Who's not quite the man
But he's as cute as a teddy bear.

His baby blues are quite delightful

What was it she did that was wrong?
That list has grown very long:
Her oral stuffing
Referred to as "fluffing"
Has left her with a weak diphthong.

What was it she did that was wrong?
At the customs gate in Hong Kong:
When she was leaving
Her bosom a-heaving
Concealed her Zigzags & chrome bong.

What was it she did that was wrong?
Remember her year in Haiphong:
She & Jane Fonda
Cruised 'Nam in a Honda
And "fluffed" every last Vietcong.

With Mame I now strongly concur
Our voices united aver:
Despite your wishes
Nell sleeps with the fishes
And all else is nonsequitur.

++++++++++++++++++++++

His baby blues are quite delightful
But Stan had a streak that was spiteful

Beautifully written, Who


His baby blues are quite delightful
But Stan had a streak that was spiteful
He'll smack you so hard
You'll fly a few yards
He really is awfully frightful.

But he's got charisma of sorts
Is it what he's got in his shorts?

But he's got charisma of sorts
Is it something in his shorts?
If cross dressing's okay
Then have it your way
Let me know when the whole thing aborts.

A personification ain't real
It's a trick to show how you feel

A personification ain't real
It's a trick to show how you feel
So OBSESS that your life go away
So you wont be with me everyday

You think you will ever be free
that is..... free of me?

You think you will ever be free
that is..... free of me?
I don't really know
Which way the winds blow
But Stan is the man don't you see.


He smells and he wears women's clothes

He smells and he wears women's clothes
And burps while he powders his nose.
He worries which heels
Match his fishing reels
Then finally wears pumps with steel toes.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Our Stan is a Renaissance Man

Our Stan is a Renaissance Man,
Eats his beans right out of the can.
Drinks beer from the bottle
But can quote Aristotle
And observes fast during Ramadan.

What makes Stan such an oddity

What makes Stan such an oddity
He's better than he ought to be
He paints like a charm
At the funny farm
He is the family commodity.

He paints in oils & acrylics

What makes Stan such an oddity
He's better than he ought to be
He paints like a charm
At the funny farm
He is the family commodity.

He paints in oils & acrylics