The gentry were cruel, tis said
They did unto others, then fled
But they left behind genes
Despite all the screams
And the kids were a bit better bred.
They say that the girls couldn't help it
They say that the girls couldn't help it
One grinned and bore what developed
Then local midwives
Came calling with knives
And knew what to do when she whelped it.
Calmly, without fanfare or fuss,
They called for the usual bus.
It came clean & large
And for a small charge
Whisked babies to Bastards-R-Us.
++++++++++++++++++++
It's easy, convenient, and free
It's easy, convenient, and free
And we all think that is the key
But if you know Pater
The costs'll come later
It's easy, convenient, and free
And we all think that is the key
But if you know Pater
The costs'll come later
For baby, bus driver, and ye.
+++++++++++++++++++
A camel broker from Yemen
A camel broker from Yemen
And a coal stoker from Bremmen
Have this in common:
A camel broker from Yemen
And a coal stoker from Bremmen
Have this in common:
Their dad, a Brahmin,
Was a smoker reviled by women.
+++++++++++++++++++++
All his teeth and the gaps between
Had been blackened by nicotine
A camel broker from Yemen
And a coal stoker from Bremmen
Have this in common:
You can't take it from 'em
They've both got dicks like Big Ben
I suppose you could say it's good luck
All his teeth and the gaps between
Had been blackened by nicotine.
Because of the dross
He's taken to floss
With kitestring he'd soaked in chlorine.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
I suppose you could say it's good luck
The bird flu's bypassed your pet duck
I suppose you could say it's good luck
The bird flu's bypassed your pet duck
And I backed the winner
Although I'm a sinner
And what I need now is a suck.
So I think I'll go dance in the clover
So I think I'll go dance in the clover
Once I get past my hangover
So I think I'll go dance in the clover
Once I get past my hangover
But I'm pissed once again
And I'd feel no pain
If I jumped off the White Cliffs of Dover.
There's nothing like backing a winner.
There's nothing like backing a winner,
Well-seasoned or just a beginner.
A sleeper, of course,
Could be the dark horse
There's nothing like backing a winner,
Well-seasoned or just a beginner.
A sleeper, of course,
Could be the dark horse
If not, though, he'd be Fido's dinner.
It's not smart to drink at the races...
It's not smart to drink at the races
Your shirt may detach from your braces,
But hey, have you heard eh?
Numbersixvallverde
It's not smart to drink at the races
Your shirt may detach from your braces,
But hey, have you heard eh?
Numbersixvallverde
Has got spendi kicking the traces.
Oh what a time we have had
Oh what a time we have had
With a monitor and keypad
We can have a blether
From clear 'cross the ether
(What's it you call that? Homograph?)
Oh what a time we have had
With a monitor and keypad
We can have a blether
From clear 'cross the ether
As chatting is not totally bad
We can also talk on Skype
We can also talk on Skype
A new fangled bullshit pipe
Lend me your ear
Lean close and near
I promise it won't be more tripe.
Now,that gee-gee is back in it's pad
Now,that gee-gee is back in it's pad
It's the latest techno-doodad
Designed to enable
Our own Tower of Babel ...
Let's hope this time God is less mad.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Install lightning rods just in case
