Sweet Nell and Naomi and Bill
Fell in the pig's lunch, the swill
It was pretty disgusting
The grunting and thrusting
Sweet Nell and Naomi and Bill
Fell in the pig's lunch, the swill
It was pretty disgusting
The grunting and thrusting
Till each of them had their fill.
They were watched by a peeping Tom
Who was on his way to a prom
His attention was caught
By six legs in a knot
So he sat down to watch with aplomb.
He thought it was quite a good show
(For there was much he didn't know)
Two gals and a guy
Could take out your eye
As they gyrated to and fro.
They were weary when they were done
Even though they all had some fun
They were weary when they were done
Even though they all had some fun
It was only a laugh
In some swill in a bath
In fact it was fairly homespun.
So they went off and dived in the river
So they went off and dived in the river
And found Nell exposed and ashiver
So they went off and dived in the river
And found Nell exposed and ashiver
Naomi went south
Bill did mouth-to-mouth
There wasn't much more they could give 'er.
*****************
The three then lay down for a smoke
The three then lay down for a smoke,
Naomi and Nell and the bloke.
But when it was dark
They chose to embark
On a swim to see Nell's breaststroke.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Nell's style was unconventional
Nell's style was unconventional
She was known as a bit of a gal
For her type of stroke
She needed a bloke
And one who's a bit of a pal.
So she laid herself down on the bank
So she laid herself down on the bank
Where Nell chose to give him a spank!
So she laid herself down on the bank
Where Nell chose to give him a spank!
He howled and he whined
And was forced to decline
The indulgence of having a zank.
This left him at the mercy of Nell
This left him at the mercy of Nell
Who again put him under her spell
He started moaning
and whining, groaning
and howling till the vicar rang the bell.
He rang and rang that bell, you know
He rang so hard he broke his toe
Oh he was jealous
And oh so zealous
He wanted Nell to give him a blow.
But she knew he hadn't any dough
So why would she give him a blow?
She'd make the guy wait
Alas, twas his fate
Some guys just never win, you know?
He planned his revenge, so quietly
He planned his revenge, so quietly
He's the model of priestly piety
He planned his revenge, so quietly
He's the model of priestly piety
She showed him a sight
Which gave him a fright
By disrupting his holy sobriety.
He got out a mallet and stake
So Nell dived back in the lake
She swam right across
Where a logging camp boss
Was holding what looked like a snake
So he dried her off with his shirt
So he dried her off with his shirt
While Nell sipped on a Diet Squirt
So he dried her off with his shirt
While Nell sipped on a Diet Squirt
He dried each tit twice
And not in a trice
And he took her right there in the dirt.
She glanced at the watch on his thick wrist
She glanced at the watch on his thick wrist
Hand on her hip, she gave it a twist
She flung back her hair
Without any care
She glanced at the watch on his thick wrist
Hand on her hip, she gave it a twist
She flung back her hair
Without any care
"I'm off now you bobo",she hissed.
She went to the roadside to stand
She went to the roadside to stand
With a band of gold on her hand.
She stuck out a thumb
She went to the roadside to stand
With a band of gold on her hand.
She stuck out a thumb
"At least I'm not numb
And I own a magical wand."
The first car that stopped was a banger
The first car that stopped was a banger
On a journey from Rome to Stavanger
The first car that stopped was a banger
On a journey from Rome to Stavanger
It was covered in rust
But exuded lust
And Nell has avoided a clanger.
She jumped in the back seat 'midst cheering
