Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Joe couldn't answer, he sped by
He'd have to call Stu on the fly.
If Joe had not flown
He would have been known
As the filling for White Guy Pie.

++++++++++++++++++++

Cannibal Cal turned up his flame

Cannibal Cal turned up his flame
Turned to his date, Auntie Mame
For you, an elbow
Or perhaps a toe?
Whatever! -- I'll have the same!

Auntie Mame replied in earnest

Auntie Mame replied in earnest
And her frown, we all know, is the sternest

Auntie Mame replied in earnest,
And her frown, we all know, is the sternest,
"Please, not one more bite
Lest my appetite
Be spoiled for our flame-broiled internist."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The night's main course, once known as Rob,
Was then served up as shishkabob

he night's main course, once known as Rob,
Was then served up as shishkabob
A filleted liver, Joe
Or slivered ear lobe?
They're both nice with corn on the cob.

Joe scratched his head and chose a nose
First let us see how this one goes
I'm new to eating
Those I've been meeting
Can I can swallow what I chose?

Auntie Mame sat back and watched him

Auntie Mame sat back and watched him
Partake of a succulent limb.
As he chewed a tattoo
That's when our Mame knew
'Twasn't Rob but her brother, Jim.

Mame's worries were on the increase
Would she pass or just try a small piece?
'Tis the lowest of low
To eat your own bro ...
Though she'd lunched on an unpleasant niece.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

She pondered and sipped on her wine

She pondered and sipped on her wine
On some flesh she's partial to dine
To the sharks she threw Nell
So the blood she could smell
A romance she had to decline.


So now the story's for ghouls

So now the story's for ghouls,
Your choice ... your first line sets the rules.
You could write of fairies
Or boysenberries
Or kabukis in your preschools.

It's your personal show-and-tell.
If you wish, you can bring back Nell,
Post-shark attack,
An amnesiac,
Quite buxom and au naturel.

+++++++++++++++++++++

At last Nell washed up on the beach

At last Nell washed up on the beach
And at last she came within reach
I kissed her and kissed her
And told her I'd missed her
And how much she looked like a peach.

She fluttered her eyes and she sighed.

She fluttered her eyes* and she sighed
"Oh spendi, my darling!", she cried
"My love is a-waking
My loins are a-aching
For too long our love we've denied".

***********

The next day their fortunes were wed


* now THAT I'd like to see.

The next day their fortunes were wed
Their antics had broken the bed

The next day their fortunes were wed
Their antics had broken the bed
The great flagellation
Of their consummation
Confirmed that they both were well-bred.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

With their new modus vivendi,
Nell and her love monkey, Spendi

With their new modus vivendi,
Nell and her love monkey, Spendi
Oh-It was bliss
That tenthousandth kiss
And that was just on the suspendi.

He soon lost the count after that

He soon lost the count after that
Again they began to begat

He soon lost the count after that
Again they began to begat
They begat and begatted
As if nothing else matted

He soon lost the count after that
Again they began to begat
Or so they both thought
But it all come to nought
Nell being a right pussy-cat.


Well he needed some time to regroup

He soon lost the count after that
Again they began to begat
They begat and begatted
As if nothing else matted
This horny old pair of rabits.

He soon lost the count after that
Again they began to begat
Or so they both thought
But it all come to nought
Nell being a right pussy-cat.

Well he needed some time to regroup
So he heated tomato soup
He smacked his grey head
"Wasn't old Nell DEAD????"
He began in earnest to poop.

A necrophiliac he aint
He convinced himself with restraint
What happened with Nell
Made him sick as hell
And made him feel awfully faint.

He looked about for her body
As he drank a Hot Rum Toddy

He looked about for her body
As he drank a Hot Rum Toddy
It appeared to be gone
So much for Don Juan!
Now he began to feel shoddy.

He left as quickly as he came
(Pun intended, don't you flame!)
He had to depart
From Nell, for a start,
So he wouldn't get any blame.

As for Nell herself, she was dead
I don't care what Spendi has said
Or done for that matter
With all of his chatter
I think he's not right in the head

Put Nell to rest once and for all
Her sex life is starting to pall
Yes, she's dead, I said
She's certainly dead
As I definitely recall.

An end to Nell, an end for good
Please don't mention her if you would
She's been and she's gone
It's really not on
To revive her again if you could.

How about the rest of the gang

How about the rest of the gang
Out with you they may choose to hang
If Nell's R.I.P
I'm going to sea
Dead flesh won't make a meringue.

Then Spendi awoke from his dream.
In a sweat, he let forth a scream.
'Twas just a nightmare!
His Nell was right there
Quite naked and giving off steam.

Spendi popped four more Viagra
While her bosom heaved like Niagara.
With Nell in the room
One has to presume
That Spendi, our stallion, might shag ya. :wink:

++++++++++++++++++++++++

After that, Nell walked with a limp