Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Sweet Nell is the toast of the town
Her underwear zooms up and down
Like a fiddler's elbow

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Sweet Nell is the toast of the town
Her underwear zooms up and down
Like a fiddler's elbow
But strictly for dough
For now't she'd only sit down.

Now her Mum and her Dad were both prudes

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Now her Mum and her Dad were both prudes,
Disapproved of her taking quaaludes

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Now her Mum and her Dad were both prudes,
Disapproved of her taking quaaludes
But she didn't care
She was walking on air
And could take on a couple of dudes

If her parents knew that, they'd freak
And to Nell they never would speak

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If her parents knew that, they'd freak
And to Nell they never would speak
So she let them think
That she never touched drink
Or charged a dollar a peek.

She told them she worked in a shop

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She told them she worked in a shop
But she didn't say "House of Flop"
Had they but known
They'd no longer own

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She told them she worked in a shop
But she didn't say "House of Flop"
Had they but known
They'd no longer own
Their dear little darling dewdrop.

When she flew in up from the south

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When she flew in up from the south
With a nasty rash 'round her mouth

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When she flew in up from the south
With a nasty rash 'round her mouth
They gasped really loud
And pushed through the crowd

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When she flew in up from the south
With a nasty rash 'round her mouth
They gasped really loud
And pushed through the crowd
To see the whore from the south's nasty mouth.

<<Okay ... what else rhymes with 'south?'>>

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Around her the doctors were millin'
All whispered the word penicillin

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Around her the doctors were millin'
All whispered the word penicillin
But she didn't care
If she lost her hair
As long as the men were willin'...

And they seemed to be quite eager
The pickins were not that meager

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And they seemed to be quite eager
The pickins were not that meager.
Seems chicks with The Clap
Once got a bum rap
But now the guys fight to blitzkrieg her.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Nell fetchingly grinned through her scabs

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Uncouth.

Around her the doctors were millin'
All whispered the word penicillin
The syringe was prepared
No expenses were spared

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Sorry my dear friends.

Nell fetchingly grinned through her scabs
And touched up her cheeks with some dabs
With a puff and a powder
Which really allowed her

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Nell fetchingly grinned through her scabs
And touched up her cheeks with some dabs
With a puff and a powder
Which really allowed her
To deal with her fresh case of crabs.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Nell always kept some DDT
For the occasional louse or flea

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Nell always kept some DDT
For the occasional louse or flea
But that didn't work
For Freedie, the jerk
So for him she used her knee... hee hee

She doesn't go to much bother
To visit in jail her father

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She doesn't go to much bother
To visit in jail her father.
He likes to undress
For the wardeness
And for smokes her back he will lather.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Once too often Dad dropped the soap

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This stuff's a bit strong for me. I'll come back when it's more seemly.

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McTag wrote:

This stuff's a bit strong for me. I'll come back when it's more seemly.

Welcome back:

Nell's father was way overboard,
So in church he sought out The Lord.
There he repented
And never resented
The fact he had just been censored.

Now that Nell's Dad's been born again
He's given up smokes, girls, & gin.
He's purchased a guppy
For his fuzzy puppy
And shuns all temptation & sin.

++++++++++++++++++++++

A more seemly life is his goal

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A more seemly life is his goal
That's why he's so gaunt and tall
He's etoliated
And quite predicated
On sweetness and niceness and all

And he's cut Nell out of his will

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Perpetual Limerick (:3=

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