Perpetual Limerick (:3=

Bread and water are now luxuries
Though I need a new heart, hip, & knees
My insurance won't pay
I just want to say

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McTag wrote:

Jose Cuervo wrote:
Our next stop will be Mardi Gras
We'll go down to without any bra(s)

Hey WhoodaThunk Good 2 C U 2

A rare sighting of the legendary Jose. Respect, man.

(It took me ages to realise he was related to Jack Daniel)

<<Yes, Jim Beam & Johnnie Walker's cousin, too ... all sprung from the loins of Old Granddad ... who was something of a Wild Turkey ... and was last seen aboard the Cutty Sark.>>

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Bread and water are now luxuries
Though I need a new heart, hip, & knees
My insurance won't pay
I just want to say
I'm glad I have good arteries.

+++++++++++++++++++

Book me on a fast tea clipper

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WhoodaThunk wrote:

McTag wrote:
Jose Cuervo wrote:
Our next stop will be Mardi Gras
We'll go down to without any bra(s)

Hey WhoodaThunk Good 2 C U 2

A rare sighting of the legendary Jose. Respect, man.

(It took me ages to realise he was related to Jack Daniel)

<<Yes, Jim Beam & Johnnie Walker's cousin, too ... all sprung from the loins of Old Granddad ... who was something of a Wild Turkey ... and was last seen aboard the Cutty Sark.>>

The old JC is not a brand of booze seen in this country very much- I saw some in a specialist bottle shop and the penny dropped. A kind of epihany. Very Happy

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Book me on a fast tea clipper
And two teas for me and the skipper
Instant tea is the best
Faster than the rest

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McTag wrote:

The old JC is not a brand of booze seen in this country very much- I saw some in a specialist bottle shop and the penny dropped. A kind of epihany.

McT: I always thought 'Jose Cuervo' was the brand with the agave worm at the bottom of the bottle. (You may already know ... the worm is eaten by - who else - someone drunk enough to have reached the bottom of a bottle of tequila and its consumption is 'proof' of that person's machismo, etc. -- also an alleged aphrodisiac.) As it turns out, 'JC' has no worm and - I'm told - neither does any true Mexican tequila. Apparently putting the worm in some brands' bottles started in the 1950's and was just an attempt to see if Americans were stupid enough to eat bugs. It worked ... and another urban legend took root.

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Book me on a fast tea clipper
And two teas for me and the skipper
Instant tea is the best
Faster than the rest
Brew a third for my friend, the stripper.

Tequila in England? Oh, no!
Earl Grey steeping in Mexico?
Tacos & The Bard??
Alert Scotland Yard!!
It just doesn't seem apropos.

+++++++++++++++++++++

A worm in my orange pekoe

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A worm in my orange pekoe
Was slithering ever so slow
Through thick and fertile dirt

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A worm in my orange pekoe
Was slithering ever so slow
Through thick and fertile dirt
Some people call it chert
Where is he going? I don't know!

Two apples on the counter sat

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Two apples on the counter sat.
They were joined by a fly and a gnat.
Said the gnat to the fly,
"Let's both multiply!"
And soon they began to begat.

+++++++++++++++++++

A sasquatch who called himself Bob

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A sasquatch who called himself Bob
Was hungry and decided to rob
As he tiptoed to the jewelry

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A sasquatch who called himself Bob
Was hungry and decided to rob
As he tiptoed to the jewelry
Knew it was tomfoolery
And applied for a clerical job.

The interview did not go well.
His heel broke, then he stumbled & fell.
Despite some good hype,
He just couldn't type,
Take shorthand, or deny his smell.

++++++++++++++++++++

Telemarketing became his dream

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Telemarketing became his dream,
It had always been in his bloodstream.
But now Bob's in jail
With no hopes of bail
For his role in a pyramid scheme.

Bob likes his cellmate named Barry
And Barry likes guys who are hairy.
There is no real doubt
That when they get out
They'll head off to Vermont and marry.

<<Sorry ... guess I'm a sucker for an old-fashioned boy-meets-sasquatch story when it ends happily ... but DOES IT?? Don't touch that dial ... Twisted Evil

>>

+++++++++++++++++++++++

The lovers, star-crossed, learned their fate

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The lovers, star-crossed, learned their fate;
They'd arrived in Vermont too late.
They both were quite pissed
To learn they just missed
The Con/Sasquatch Marriage Rebate.

The lovers weren't easily stopped;
Bob would get himself trimmed and/or cropped!
The marriage proceeded
And then they conceded
They'd both always dreamed to adopt.

<<Too much time on my hands this morning ... >>

+++++++++++++++++++++++

They found a small girl named Mary

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They found a small girl named Mary
Who, by chance , was incredibly hairy.
A crib lined in skins
was bought and brought in.

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They found a small girl named Mary
Who, by chance , was incredibly hairy.
A crib lined in skins
was bought and brought in.
(But she must not eat nuts, fruit, or dairy.)

+++++++++++++++++++++

She's enrolled in the Hairy-Kid-School

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She's enrolled in the Hairy-Kid-School
Where grooming is stressed as a rule.
The hirsute are our friends
Their motto defends
But it's hell just cleaning their pool.

*************************

The pupils are urged to take sport

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LionTamerX wrote:

She's enrolled in the Hairy-Kid-School
Where grooming is stressed as a rule.
The hirsute are our friends
Their motto defends
But it's hell just cleaning their pool.

*************************

The pupils are urged to take sport(s)
And wear the school's mohair gym shorts

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<shyly bows>

The pupils are urged to take sport(s)
And wear the school's mohair gym shorts
You haven't seen sweaty
'Til you've wrestled a Yeti,
They are known for perspiring in quarts.

**********************************

A sound mind , and healthy demeanor
Make most of the pupils seen cleaner

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A sound mind , and healthy demeanor
Make most of the pupils seen cleaner.
But lye-laden Prell
Barely masks the smell
And in Vermont that's a misdemeanor.

++++++++++++++++++++++

At the Hairy-Kid-School Talent Night

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Perpetual Limerick (:3=

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