Possibly the best set up line ever.. :wink:
At the Hairy-Kid-School Talent Night
Parents oohed and aahed with delight
The tap dancing Wookies
and bake-sale cookies
Could excite the most staid troglodyte.
*********************
The chorus line caused quite a stir
The chorus line caused quite a stir
And the spotlight picked out a pair
Who made quite a breeze
When they kicked up their knees
The chorus line caused quite a stir
And the spotlight picked out a pair
Who made quite a breeze
When they kicked up their knees
And their skirts flew up in the air
The two were completely mortified
The two were completely mortified
When a chap in the front went and died
They said it was shock
When he saw up a frock.
The two were completely mortified
When a chap in the front went and died
They said it was shock
When he saw up a frock.
And realised his reverend had lied.
******************************
On the whole, the show was a hit,
They forgot all about the dead git.
On the whole, the show was a hit,
They forgot all about the dead git.
"He'll enjoy it!" they said
Now that he's dead
On the whole, the show was a hit,
They forgot all about the dead git.
"He'll enjoy it!" they said
Now that he's dead
He'll pass for the usual Brit.
++++++++++++++++++
A hairy albino named Sally
Performed in the grand finale
A hairy albino named Sally
Performed in the grand finale
She tapdanced and kicked
With gams never shicked
A hairy albino named Sally
Performed in the grand finale
She tapdanced and kicked
With gams never shicked
Shaped like pins from the bowling alley.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Then she started to sing soft & low,
Vermont's own fuzzy Marilyn Monroe
Then she started to sing soft & low,
Vermont's own fuzzy Marilyn Monroe
Her scansion was weak
So she gave 'em a peek
And it laid out all the front row.
Much cheering and clapping ensued
From which she quickly construed
That for an encore
She'd give 'em some more
Much cheering and clapping ensued
From which she quickly construed
That for an encore
She'd give 'em some more
But Hairy Kids shouldn't dance nude.
The vice squad then burst through the door
And immediately cleared the floor
Except for the hair
Which flew everywhere
'Cause she'd shed like a Labrador.
The pre-school endured some bad press
From the forementioned hairy princess.
That schoolhouse uproar
Proved less is not more
And the headmistress rued the excess.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
The alumni across the nation
The alumini across the nation
Are part of the plan of creation
In their caps and their gowns
And their frightening frowns
The alumini across the nation
Are part of the plan of creation
In their caps and their gowns
And their frightening frowns
Was born the army of depilation.
====================
The razors flew off the shelves
The razors flew off the shelves
And scratched out words by themselves
The razors flew off the shelves
And scratched out words by themselves
With Kojak our beacon,
The Yeti ran streakin'
The razors flew off the shelves
And scratched out words by themselves
With Kojak our beacon,
The Yeti ran streakin'
We've no time, they said, to delve...
The curly, wavy, rollicking sea
Is everything in the world to me
I love its smells
I adore the swells
The curly, wavy, rollicking sea
Is everything in the world to me
I love its smells
I adore the swells
From the occasional blood-engorged flea.
++++++++++++++++++++++
With a grant from the Nair Foundation
With a grant from the Nair Foundation
and a few personal donations
We study blood-engorged fleas
And other things, like Bees Knees
With a grant from the Nair Foundation
and a few personal donations
We study blood-engorged fleas
And other things, like Bees Knees
And how to avoid pollination.
The lady in question's called Clarke
And she gets undressed in the dark
