Perpetual Limerick (:3=

She pulled down her pants
'Cos she sat in some ants,

There once was an old lady named Mag
Who everyone thought was an old hag
She pulled down her pants
'Cos she sat in some ants,
And swept them away with a rag.

**********************

Her broomstick was called into action

Her broomstick was called into action
Which the Bishop claimed was infraction
So he laid down his mitre
To get a bit tighter

Her broomstick was called into action
Which the Bishop claimed was infraction
So he laid down his mitre
To get a bit tighter
And they rode to the point of distraction.

***************************

The journey they made was insightful
The cigarette shared was delightful

The journey they made was insightful
The cigarette shared was delightful
They both got well stoned
And Mag got well boned

The jouney they made was insightful
The cigarette shared was delightful
They both got well stoned
And Mag got well boned
By what she described as "a trifle"

(Nothing personal Spendius - couldn't resist )

But trifles can be quite fulfilling

ha ha ha ha ha

But trifles can well be fulfilling
'less one of the party's unwilling
In which case, my sweet dear
She'll bed alone, I fear
And nothing will happen that's Thrilling.


There is a man whose derriere is large
So large, in fact, that there's a cover charge

There is a man whose derriere is large
So large, in fact, that there's a cover charge.
If it doesn't explode
It will need a zip code

There is a man whose derriere is large
So large, in fact, that there's a cover charge.
If it doesn't explode
It will need a zip code
And he greases it over with marge

It helps him to pull up his strides


(we used pants- ants- sycophants before)

Yours helpfully
McT

It helps him to pull up his strides
and still the pockets explode from the sides

It helps him to pull up his strides
and still the pockets explode from the sides
He wailed and he moaned
"I'm fat", he intoned
And quite unattractive besides.

(didn't know if I was matching the first or second line syllables there, so I did the first

His mother was quite unsupportive

His mother was quite unsupportive
Which is rather weird for a relative

His mother was quite unsupportive
Which is rather weird for a relative
She'd smack his gut
and kick his butt

His mother was quite unsupportive
Which is rather weird for a relative
Oh But what do you expect
From a loony bin re-ject?

His mother was quite unsupportive
Which is rather weird for a relative
She'd smack his gut
and kick his butt
For laughs when she felt slightly sportive.

------------- or -------------------

His mother was quite unsupportive
Which is rather weird for a relative
Oh But what do you expect
From a loony bin re-ject
Whose plans for her son were abortive?

------------ then -----------------

On Friday nights as he washed her hair,
He joined Mama in Druidic prayer.
They then ate raw eggs
While he shaved her legs
And sponged-out her soiled underwear.

++++++++++++++++++++++

The social workers once paid a call

The social workers once paid a call
On a layabout in Montreal
They knocked on his door
Knocked and knocked some more

The social workers once paid a call
On a layabout in Montreal
They knocked on his door
Knocked and knocked some more
Because that was their protocol.

++++++++++++++++++++

At long last he answered the door
Wearing a smile and nothing more

At long last he answered the door
Wearing a smile and nothing more
Well, on his face he had a grin
And in his hair, a bobby pin
Come on in, he said, but watch the floor


I haven't cleaned in many a day

I haven't cleaned in many a day
And if it gets cleaned, it won't be today
I must do my hair
You see. (To be fair...

I haven't cleaned in many a day
And if it gets cleaned, it won't be today
I must do my hair
You see. (To be fair...
My life's been just one big cliche).

So I've stopped doing things that I should
In the hopes that "should" turns into "could"
No obligations for me
I'll be happier, you'll see