Cosmetic surgery has its charms
no matter whether it hurts or it harms
just a nip and a tuck
and a small bit of luck
Cosmetic surgery has its charms
no matter whether it hurts or it harms
just a nip and a tuck
and a small bit of luck
Gives Venus de Milo new arms.
+++++++++++++++++
Janet Reno's might need a team
Janet Reno's might need a team
To recreate her sagging dream
Beauty ain't cheap
When it's just skin deep
Janet Reno's might need a team
To recreate her sagging dream
Beauty ain't cheap
When it's just skin deep
And you're constantly swimming upstream.
+++++++++++++++++++
All the powders, creams, and potions
All the powders, creams, and potions,
All the aloe-laden lotions --
They're the rage
But can't cure age
All the powders, creams, and potions,
All the aloe-laden lotions --
They're the rage
But can't cure age
Despite the endless promotions.
++++++++++++++++++
The aging thing's not without perks
The aging thing's not without perks,
Don't listen to info-com jerks.
Your smaller bladder
Does not really matter
Cuz diapers are cheap and they works.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Blood pressure and cholesterol
Blood pressure and cholesterol
And all the rest of that fol-de-rol
Blood pressure and cholesterol
And all the rest of that fol-de-rol
Can make us so tense
Our only defense
Is to light up a smoke, menthol.
++++++++++++++++++
Some things I cannot remember
"Some things I cannot remember,"
Said Kicky. "Was it in September
I got this phone number?"
"Some things I cannot remember,"
Said Kicky. "Was it in September
I got this phone number,
This blood-stained lumber,
And this corpse I forgot to dismember?"
++++++++++++++++++++
The most perfect crimes go astray
The most perfect crimes go astray
In the most unusual way.
Take Charlie Manson
Who killed Ted Danson...
No, no 'twas the son of Doris Day.
Sometimes I'm a little confused
"Sometimes I'm a little confused,"
Said Eva. "Was my credit refused
during a blackout in Macy's..."
"Sometimes I'm a little confused,"
Said Eva. "Was my credit refused?
During a blackout at Macy's,
Buying frillies and lacies,
I guess sometimes money is used.
Did Carlotta forget something here?
sorry, sorry!
She got hold of Mom's credit card
She got hold of mom's credit card
and decided to buy a new leotard
for she loved ballet
She got hold of Mom's credit card
And decided to buy a new leotard
For she loved ballet
But Visa won't pay
'Cause Eva's mom's dead, you retard!
Carlotta forgot Eva's fifty
carlotta forgot Eva's fifty
But telling one's age isn't nifty
If you're young at heart
carlotta forgot Eva's fifty
But telling one's age isn't nifty
If you're young at heart
Just get back on the cart
