The cuddling resulted in progeny
Of most bizarre heterogony.
They could crawl, swim, & fly
And looked like platypi
The cuddling resulted in progeny
Of most bizarre heterogony.
They could crawl, swim, & fly
And looked like platypi
And starred on the TV in "Oh, Jeannie!"
The old can remember such shows
But not very clear, heaven knows
The old can remember such shows
But not very clear, heaven knows
The long ago nights,
watching old black and whites.
The old can remember such shows
But not very clear, heaven knows
The long ago nights,
watching old black and whites.
Sure, now they LIKE color, I suppose.
Some shows that will fill all the glitches
Are the ones that pretend they are witches-
Some shows that will fill all the glitches
Are the ones that pretend they are witches
With magic, and horror
They'll be back tomorrer
Some shows that will fill all the glitches
Are the ones that pretend they are witches
With magic, and horror
They'll be back tomorrer
Unless they meet some bitches...
Once was a prestidigitator
Once was a prestidigitator
Who wanted to be a waiter
Once was a prestidigitator
Who wanted to be a waiter
Making black water appear,
He would then make it clear
(problem was: what to do with the gator?)
Black magic and hand tricks are trite
I can't do them, try as I might
Black magic and hand tricks are trite
I can't do them, try as I might
My rabbit won't hide
Although I have tried
Black magic and hand tricks are trite
I can't do them, try as I might
My rabbit won't hide
Although I have tried
The little bugger remains
in plain sight.
No presto, no changeo, no poof.
No presto, no changeo, no poof
No smoke and no mirrors are proof
I am quite a hack
The skills that I lack
No presto, no changeo, no poof
No smoke and no mirrors are proof
I am quite a hack
The skills that I lack
Cause me to perform like a goof.
But there are many things I can do
But there are many things I can do
with paper, scissors, and glue.
Set the paper alight,
sniff glue through the night,
And with scissors,
the rabbit run through.
I think I must find a new trade.
I think I must find a new trade,
for i don't like the living i've made,
since being a young man
i've always made jam,
but i'm moving into marmalade.
start the day with a big breakfast
Start the day with a big breakfast
It helps you to roast and bake fast
Have sausage and beans
Start the day with a big breakfast
It helps you to roast and bake fast
Have sausage and beans
Oops! gotta zip those jeans
Just can't ruin the figure with repast!
Drink water, and plump up your skin
Drink water and plump up your skin
Then if you dehydrate it with gin
You'll not be an old hag
Drink water and plump up your skin
Then if you dehydrate it with gin
You'll not be an old hag
Who frets about sag
When you can't even feel your own chin?
++++++++++++++++++++++
Vain Vera was feeling the shift
So she scheduled her ninth facelift
Vain Vera was feeling the shift
So she scheduled her ninth facelift
A nip here, a tuck there
Cover that, leave this bare
Vain Vera was feeling the shift
So she scheduled her ninth facelift
A nip here, a tuck there
Cover that, leave this bare
And shore up all parts starting to drift.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Her husband would not be left out,
He hated the shape of his snout
