A gynecologist named Hiram
needed something to inspire'im.
Once up-and-at-'em, he
Checked Gray's Anatomy
And learned the difference 'tween Jill & Jim.
+++++++++++++++++++++
An optometrist known as Clyde
Who was sadly very walleyed
An optometrist known as Clyde
Who was sadly very walleyed
Though he did have good sight
When he peered left and right
An optometrist known as Clyde
Who was sadly very walleyed
Though he did have good sight
When he peered left and right
Looked quite shifty, as though he had lied
***
There once was a man from bankok
who had made biscuit bits from a rock
though the biscuits were bland
and had flavours of sand
he consumed every one with a sock
***
A monkey who came from peru
walked and talked just like me and you
his balance was queer
(he'd been gored by a steer)
and his odour was like old cat poo
***
My rhyming is poorly designed
My poerty should be one lined
Should I finish this rhyme?
yes, I think it is time
All I need is for you to cosign
***
The love of my life is swiss cheese
The holes sould contain yellow grease
Don't you touch it, its mine
For its taste is divine
But the holes have been filled up with bees
***
All good things must come to an end
Like the road with the fork or the bend
that analogy's bad
and and it makes me quite sad...
All good things must come to an end
Like the road with the fork or the bend
that analogy's bad
and and it makes me quite sad...
So apologies now I must send
Today I went shopping for shoes
Today I went shopping for shoes
Despite suffering from bruised toes
Today I went shopping for shoes
Despite suffering from bruised toes.
My style wasn't crimped
Though I staggered and limped
Today I went shopping for shoes
Despite suffering from bruised toes.
My style wasn't crimped
Though I staggered and limped
And had to wait in long queues
(in the UK a queue is the same as a line)
My neighbour is moving today
My neighbour is moving today
I'm sorry he's going away
My neighbour is moving today
I'm sorry he's going away
We had so much fun
Cavorting in sun
My neighbour is moving today
I'm sorry he's going away
We had so much fun
Cavorting in sun
I wish I could get him to stay
My dog is infested with fleas
My dog is infested with fleas
And when I go near him I sneeze
My dog is infested with fleas
And when I go near him I sneeze
He scratches his head
Until it turns red
My dog is infested with fleas
And when I go near him I sneeze
He scratches his head
Until it turns red
And chews himself raw 'neath his knees.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Sounds like Fido needs a strong dip
Sounds like Fido needs a strong dip
So to the vet's we'll take a trip
This gross infestation
Sounds like Fido needs a strong dip
So to the vet's we'll take a trip
This gross infestation
Shows a need for castration
Said the doc as he went snip snip snip
I'm ugly; I know its a fact
Just look at the mirrors I've cracked
I'm ugly; I know its a fact
Just look at the mirrors I've cracked.
I'll never know why
I caught my wife's eye ...
I ooze pus, and, of course, I'm hunch-backed.
And still I'm not without my charms
Although I currently lack both arms,
Whenever I kiss
I begin to piss,
And I have gas that could clear pig farms.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I was glad to get that off my chest
I was glad to get that off my chest
So now lets get on with the rest
I was glad to get that off my chest
So now lets get on with the rest.
I have plastic knees,
During sex, I sneeze ...
I was glad to get that off my chest
So now lets get on with the rest.
I have plastic knees,
During sex, I sneeze
Otherwise, I'm doing my very best
But I'm a guy with two left hands
But I'm a guy with two left hands
Which no one really understands
When undoing a clip
I can't get a firm grip
