My auntie has gone to the ocean
In such a hurry she forgot her lotion
My auntie has gone to the ocean
In such a hurry she forgot her lotion
But never to fear
I've two hands and time here-
I've a notion to get motion without lotion
Please ma'am, can I get a hug?
Please ma'am, can I get a hug?
I begged and gave her sleave a tug
Please ma'am, can I get a hug?
I begged and gave her sleave a tug
She yelped "Please, Unhand me!
Please ma'am, can I get a hug?
I begged and gave her sleeve a tug
She yelped "Pleases, Unhand me!"
"Can't you see I'm a he?"
Please ma'am, can I get a hug?
I begged and gave her sleeve a tug
She yelped "Pleases, Unhand me!"
"Can't you see I'm a he?"
I cried "Oh Sh*t!", and then KO'ed the thug
Just one squeeze and no tease, if you please
Just one squeeze and no tease, if you please
Be kind and unwind but don't let me freeze
But you know if you must
Just one squeeze and no tease, if you please
Be kind and unwind but don't let me freeze
But you know if you must
Then give in to your lust
So don't frown, just get down on your knees
The young man had flowers in a bucket
The young man had flowers in a bucket
He threw them away and said F**k it,
Flowers are so passe,
The young man had flowers in a bucket
He threw them away and said F**k it,
Flowers are so passé,
Not to say declassé,
The young man had flowers in a bucket
He threw them away and said F**k it,
Flowers are so passé,
Not to say declassé,
And the bucket, I'll not say where he stuck it!
My cat has jumped onto my knee
My cat has jumped onto my knee
(I was just going out for a pee)
My cat has just jumped on my knee
(I was just going out for a pee)
Now I must address
My kittie's distress
My cat has just jumped on my knee
(I was just going out for a pee)
Now I must address
My kittie's distress
Before she scratches the hell out of me
The sun has wakened from it's sleep
The sun has wakened from it's sleep
Stealthily, with nary a peep
I've awakened as well
The sun has wakened from it's sleep
Stealthily, with nary a peep
I've awakened as well
Though you can hardly tell
The sun has wakened from its sleep
Stealthily, with nary a peep
I've awakened as well
Though you can hardly tell
Now off to the fridge I will creep
A farmer once said to his wife
A farmer once said to his wife
"Farmer's daughters are born to much strife!
So hide ours, we will..."
A farmer once said to his wife
"Farmer's daughters are born to much strife!
So hide ours, we will
From the farmhands, until
A much later stage of her life"
She should remain virgo intacta
And look out for Ben on the tractor
She should remain virgo intacta
And look out for Ben on the tractor.
Lest he on John Deere
Do that which we fear ...
