There once was a beautiful lady
Whose rep was considerably shady
"So what with the rep?
"Don't give me all that cr*p!"
There once was a beautiful lady
Whose rep was considerably shady
"So what with the rep?
"Don't give me that crepe!
"I like latkes, made from potatees..."
There once was a virginal hag
Whom the warlocks all wanted to shag
There once was a virginal hag
Whom the warlocks all wanted to shag
The forum guide said tut tut
These words are just not...
There once was a virginal hag
Whom the warlocks all wanted to shag
The forum guide said
Use nice words instead
And the warlocks all left with a sag
There once was an eel in Caprice
There once was an eel in Caprice
And everyone wanted a piece
There once was an eel in Caprice
And everyone wanted a piece;
Butcha know how it is wit an eel
All the gals wanted to cop a feel
And it ended up all over the place.
****
There once was a man from Dundee
And a sorry enough sight, was he
There once was a man from Dundee
And a sorry enough sight, was he
His lips were too thin
And we knew where he'd been
Sorry, objection from Britain, we can't rhyme "thin" with "been".
No way, Jose, no can do.
Rhyma "thin" with "when you're out you're not in" and "been" with "keen green pleasure machine" by all means if you must, but been/thin, no way! Britain Objects! Call Kofi Annan!
There once was a man from Dundee
And a sorry enough sight, was he
His lips were too theen
And we knew where he'd bin
For we'd seen him before, on TV
American English is tough
But I can't get enough of the stuff
American English is tough
But I can't get enough of the stuff
In fact I want a whole Slough
And when I get through
I'll feel all puffed up and chuff(ed) (sorry...)
***
There was a young lady from Skye
Whose neighbors all thought she was sly
There was a young lady from Skye
Whose neighbors all thought she was sly
Stallone was in tears
As he combatted fears
His career would be left high and dry
Things started out really quite slow
Things started out really quite slow
And one can see it's a long way to go
Things started out really quite slow
And one can see it's a long way to go
Depends where you're heading
And if morals you're shedding
Things started out really quite slow
And one can see it's a long way to go
The bicycle chain's bust
And it seems that this must
Make us late for the Lord Mayor's show
There was an old man of the Web..
Things started out really quite slow
And one can see there's a long way to go
Depends where you're heading
And if morals you're shedding
And what you would like to see grow.
There was an old man of the Web
And his friends called him silly old Jeb
There was an old man of the Web
And his friends called him silly old Jeb
One day all he typed
Managed to get wiped
Which split the sides of our Deb
Sat Adam and Eve in the garden..
Sat Adam and Eve in the garden
As God played a paranoid warden
Sat Adam and Eve in the garden
As God played a paranoid warden
Said Adam to Eve:
"What you got up your sleeve?"
There once was a lass from South Crass,
Who abhored the place and its morass,
But she stayed for some light,
Even though it weren't right,
So now, she'll be out on her ass.
