Isn't there a better way?
Maybe shop for Christmas on Ebay?
No more crowds to push and shove
Isn't there a better way?
Maybe shop for Christmas on Ebay?
No more crowds to push and shove
Have it shipped direct to those you love
Isn't there a better way?
Maybe shop for Christmas on Ebay?
No more crowds to push and shove
Have it shipped direct to those you love
A credit card makes it easy to pay.
But then in January, the bills come in
Bur then in January, the bills come in
Suddenly making the world seem grim
I guess that large check from grandma
Bur then in January, the bills come in
Suddenly making the world seem grim
I guess that large check from grandma
I could use to buy a pajama
But pajamaS will cost more than a fin
There was an old man who prayed for dough
He saw it on Pat Robertsons TV show
There was an old man who prayed for dough
He saw it on Pat Robertson's TV show
To send it in for old Pat's pocket
Would make him just another pauper
But he would be blessed, don't you know.
Are evangelicals as earnest as they appear?
Are evangelicals as earnest as they appear?
I don't allow no preachin' round here
Whene'er I see one
I go git my gun
And give him the word to stay clear
(Before he's a chance to get near)
The ones on the TV are worst
The ones on the TV are worst
They think we are all cursed
The ones on the TV are worst
They think we are all cursed
But in reality
They're as wrong as wrong can be
And someday their bubbles will burst
"Hello Pat, my old friend!" Satan said...
"Hello Pat, my old friend!"Satan said
Sadly shaking his burning head
You tasted the honey
and then asked for money
"Hello Pat, my old friend!" Satan said
Sadly shaking his burning head
"You tasted the honey
and then asked for money
And so you're down here now, instead."
"Say hi to your friends, one and all
The 'righteously rich' have a ball
In Hell, don't you know...
"Say hi to your friends, one and all
The righteously rich have a ball
In Hell, don't you know
Write it all down before you blow
The good outweigh the bad is the law
Christmas means love, hope, and peace
Christmas means love, hope, and peace
And you better believe it or I'll call the police!
Christmas means love, hope, and peace
And you better believe it , or I'll call the police!
Children make Christmas joyful and fun
Now kids see old Santa RUN, RUN, RUN!
Everyone seems to have a hopeful release
Now Dasher, Dosher, Disher Doe
Now Dasher, Dosher, Disher Doe
On Shemp and Curly, and Larry and Moe
Now Dasher, Dosher, Disher Doe
On Shemp and Curly,and Larry and Moe
Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year
We wish you well even through the tears
But don't step on thy toe?
What shall we wish for?
What shall we wish for?
Toys and clothes and new decor?
What shall we wish for?
Toys and clothes and new decor?
Try peace and warmth and love
Don't fiddy-fart around, give it a shove!
What shall we wish for?
Toys and clothes and new decor?
Try peace and warmth and love
Don't fiddy-fart around, give it a shove!
and bring me a hot new amor !!
Santa Santa I want a boyfriend,
Santa!Santa I want a boyfriend
That is a tall order to send
Have you been a good girl
Do you want everything and a pearl
I hope you get a nice boyfriend to win
I cannot solve the problems of the world
