What's this about Scots and their Haggus?
Do Yanks even know how to rebus?
Oh, haggis you mean, said the queen
Under the kilt, it would seem
The haggis stuffed Scot is belch'ous.
Is the kilt a cover for girls to discover
Is the kilt a cover for girls to discover
I's convenient for a kilt lovers, lover
If there's a nce breeze,
She can give 'im a squeeze
He won't bother to run for cover.
Yes, I am a Yank who can't spell
Will that faux pas send me to hell?
In some circles, I guess
Yes, I am a Yank who can't spell
Will that faux pas send me to hell?
In some circles, I guess
I'd be considered a mess.
Hey, here's my dictionary for sail.
While learning to read on the farm.
While learning to read on the farm
Feolola developed her charm
Never mind those forays
While learning to read on the farm.
Fealola developed her charm.
Never mind those forays
In her young wild days.
Her knowledge kept her from harm.
So, what do you do when your happy?
So, what do you do when your happy?
Do you dance and dress looking snappy?
So, what do you do when your happy?
Do you dance and dress looking snappy?
Do you wallow away your time
Drinking cheap imported wine?
So, what do you do when you're happy?
Do you dance and dress looking snappy?
Do you wallow away your time
Drinking cheap imported wine?
Or molest moving objects like Slappy?
Slappy and Gus...what a pair!
I laugh 'til I'm gasping for air!
Slappy and Gus...what a pair!
I laugh 'til I'm gasping for air!
It doesn't seem to matter
If I'm bursting my bladder
Slappy and Gus... what a pair!
I laugh 'til I'm gasping for air!
It doesn't seem to matter
If I'm bursting my bladder
I'll swim to keep getting my share.
Does Slappy get serious at night?
Does Slappy get serious at night?
Does he become "Polite Slappy-Light"?
Does Slappy get serious at night?
Does he become "Polite Slappy-Light?
What ho, do you say?
He'd never stray
From his lusty and stylish flights?
Is the Gustofratzenhofer-pope Catholic
Or does he just know the right hat to pick?
Is the Gustofratzenhofer-pope Catholic
Or does he just know the right hat to pick?
Hey where are these folks
Shootin' breeze, telling jokes
I'd look in if I knew where to click
It's way past my bedtime right now
It's way past my bedtime right now
Too little sleep brings frowns to my brow
It's way past my bedtime right now
Too little sleep brings frowns to my brow
my sweet little bed
is awaiting my head
Sweet dreams until the morrow.
So the candy colored clown comes creeping
So the candy colored clown comes creeping
From 'neath my bed he is peeping
He doesn't smile at all
So the candy colored clown comes creeping
From 'neath my bed he is peeping
He doesn't smile at all
He makes my skin crawl
So the candy colored clown comes creeping
From 'neath my bed he is peeping
He doesn't smile at all
He makes my skin crawl
'til Mom wakes me from sleeping. Whew!!
If nightmares were horses....
If nightmares were horses....
according to reliable sources,
our dreams, full of screamers,
and bright flowing streamers,
a parade of conflicting forces.
My dreams are a stream of strange faces
My dreams are a stream of strange faces
They all allude to not wearing shoe laces
They all have a great skill
