how do i tell my mom.....

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Im 14 years old and I have had some sexual contact. I want to tell my mom but I dont have a clue how. Its so complicated. I dont know how to start a conversation with her about it. She is really strict. Every guy I date she asks a whole bunch of questions to. And now I want to tell her that there are things that I have done. I just dont know how. Can I get some help? Confused

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If you have a hard time talking to your mom is there another adult that you can talk to that might sit with you while you tell your mom?

You know you need to tell her.

I won't even get into the "14 is WAY too young" lecture.

It will be easier to tell her this than to tell her when you get pregnant.

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It depends on your mom of course, but I think just the fact that you WANT to talk to her about it -- and that it's not that she has found out about it, somehow -- will get you a certain amount of goodwill.

I think you can plain say, "Mom, can we talk?" and the rest is likely to just happen. If she's busy when you want to talk to her, set up a time and place. Then talk.

Good luck...

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There will be a bunch of women along shortly, baseballchic. Hold on.

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Oops, they're already here.

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Oh look soz! We're a bunch!

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<hip bump>

Woo-hoo!

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Yeah, good suggestions so far. She may be strict, but she is allowing you to date at 14: so she can't be truly unforgiving and strict.
She asks qs of the boys you date - that's standard and actually a good sign.
You'll appreciate it later, trust me.

I just get the feeling that your mom will be more understanding than you may believe is possible. I bet she will be very proud of you for coming to her about this - even if she does act a bit 'weird'.

I think I would involve an aunt or older cousin or someone. That way you can have back-up and a mediator in case emotions run high.
Would that be doable?

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When I read baseballchic's cry for help I knew, I just KNEW, that sozobe and boomer would be first responders.

I'm gifted in that department.

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Is your mom hot?

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Count me in as another banana and we have a bunch.

BC - Start off by telling your mother that it is important for her to listen to you and not be quick to judge because you need to know you can tell her anything. Tell her you always want her to know the truth about your life without fearing any hysterics or condemnation.

Don't be surprised if she is disappointed in your choices, but you both need to keep lines of communication open for the best results in your mother and daughter realtionship.

(Like Boomer, I will now bite my tongue and not get into the "you're too young" lecture)

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Our only hope is that Slappy comes along shortly. He always has the right answers for these delicate situations.

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I think Slappy is the guy Baseballchic is dating.

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I have this sick feeling that this poor girl's mother's face is turning bright purple right about now and her hand is raised in a threatening manner.

I pray to God she doesn't strike.

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Green Witch wrote:

BC - Start off by telling your mother that it is important for her to listen to you and not be quick to judge because you need to know you can tell her anything. Tell her you always want her to know the truth about your life without fearing any hysterics or condemnation.

Now there's a sentence or two I wish I had a clue of way back when.

Whatever. Be yourself and talk. Communicate. Things may fall apart. Sometimes they have to, to come back together.

Of course you're too young. (Only half kidding.) You are, in any case, not at all too young to talk about this, and good luck on having the talks work out. The first talks may involve some hysteria.. Keep talking.

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I am still wondering what "some sexual contact" means.

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Based on Baseballchic's response in the "friends with benefits" thread, I just hope she is practicing safe sex.

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Hm, there she's talking about kissing only.

I wish, mothers would talk to their offspring in more dept about
sexual matters, so the kids wouldn't have to second guess themselves
and go around and ask perfect strangers for advise.

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Well, I never did talk with my mother about sex. (She was born in 1901. Conversations vary.)

So from my point of view there is benefit in that happening at all. Still bad advice from mom can make that problematic.

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Quote:

Well, I never did talk with my mother about sex. (She was born in 1901. Conversations vary.)

So from my point of view there is benefit in that happening at all. Still bad advice from mom can make that problematic

Uhhumm, or you get that speech of: "You do IT and I'll kill you.", as I was given. I wondered for six months what IT was?

BC, be open and honest, expect some criticism, but take pride in the fact that you are willing to open those lines of communication with your mother. Not many girls your age will, just do it face to face, I know one 14 year old that broke it to her mother via a text message!!!

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how do i tell my mom.....

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