is he not that into me?

Playon--

J_B is right. Enjoy today. If he's free this evening, great. If not find something you want to do that you will also enjoy.

Believe it or not it is possible to be in the Dating Game and the Marriage Market while having an independent life at the same time.

If this guy wants you available at 2 a.m., but won't make weekend plans in advance, this is not a guy you need absorbing your time and attention.

re
i just feel hurt now though...i dont know what the deal is? I asked him to do something, he's NOT responding. I feel like he IS playing games...why?

Playon--

If you think he's playing games, why are you playing with him?

Do you like having your heartstrings stretched and twanged?

re
i left work early...just checked my e-mail and he left me 2 messages. One said: what would you like to do. the other sent about an hour later said, i'm leaving work early, call me later...

Um ok...is it just me or is it a bit rude that before he said, yes i'd like to hang out he said, what would you like to do???

I think you are looking for things wrong with this guy.

You are being a pain in the ass and I'm not the one dating you!

He wants to do something...he asked you what you want to do..Isn't that enough?

I am sure you will find some drama in this evening if you go. And of course, drama if you don't.

Re: re


Honestly, playon, I think it's you. You've already noticed he isn't a decision maker. He's trying to have a conversation via text (always difficult, IMO). It seems as if you're thinking his suggestion to 'hang out' inferred he had some kind of plan in mind. He doesn't. Don't read any more into it than what's on the surface. He asked if you wanted to hang out, you said yes, he asked what you feel like doing.... Nothing wrong with any of that. CHILL OUT.

I thought I was a mental masochist but holy cow, girlfriend, you take the cake!

Your last post on the soldier guy thread was not even a month ago, this guy came on the scene what? on the day soldier guy left? and you're already doing this crazy nonsense again?

You really need a hobby. I'm not tryng to be mean but seriously - you are spending WAY too much time worried about boys.

You are obviously cute and interesting - you don't seem to have any problem meeting people. What is up with all the desperation?

re
well we had tentative plans...then just left a vm saying he was tired, just woke up and felt like he could sleep another 8 hours...im done with this...really why do i meet these losers??????? You cant tell me that if a guy likes a girl he stays home to sleep. Oh and he was drunk last night when he called. I will never find anyone...i really wont. I meet good guys, bad guys...they're all the same....they seem like me at first then poof...i dont know what happens. And no one can say i acted needy here...i didnt even call the guy all week.

Playon--

You don't turn a guy into a creep by calling him. He was a creep to begin with.

Where do you meet men? Bars? Clubs? These are not necessarily where good guys hang out.

tr
well he called back and said he is tired, but he is around all weekend and how about tomorrow? I dont know if i should go....part of me says we didnt have real set plans today...but still. I"m also tired, but wouldnt have bailed...i just dont want to see too overly eager if i go tomorrow...

Playon -

Have you considered getting a personal blog? Friendly suggestion.

Boomerang is right on.

Ay, yi, yi! Stop worrying about how you seem to be coming across. Do you want to see him tomorrow? Yes or no? If yes, say yes, otherwise say no. There is nothing deep about this, keep it simple and do what you want to do.

re
I would just like to know how he feels about me...but i feel it's too early to ask that

I told my mom about this and she said it sounds like i'm definitely coming 2nd, 3rd....hmmm

re
So i saw that guy I've been asking about here on saturday. I called him after this party I went to at about 7pm (as planned) and he came over. we'd both eaten already. We decided to go for a walk by the beach. So we did that for about an hour or so, then we came back to my place and watched a movie. Hardly any touching took place at all throughout it...so at the end we kissed and he said he was going to leave. Last time we stayed in the same bed. I was feeling a little weird and i guess he could tell. He said that he didnt want me to think that all he was into was just hooking up with me...i said, is that all you think i'm into and he laughed and said no. We kept kissing...he had told me earlier in the night a little on the walk that he feels like i am confusing...i dont know how i have been. He said in terms of when we make plans he feels like i am...like i question whether we're still doing something, even though it's already been said that we have been.

So tonight before he left i got a little bold and told him outrihgt that i get confused as to whether he wants to see me again after each date. He was confused and said, really? i said, YES. He asked if it would make me feel more comfortable if we just went ahead and made plans for tuesday. I stupidly said, no! because i didnt want to seem annoying. He said he does want to see me again and if he didnt he would tell me...so that made me feel better. He then told me that i'm welcome to come hang out at his place after work whenever (i work close to where he lives) so he seemed suprised about my uncertainty....but i dont think he was that clear with me...i told him that he doenst seem to like to make plans, he said he thought it seemed clear that he wanted to see me again. Confusion! so i did want him to stay (ho that i am i guess) but he said he thought it would be best if he left. So i walked him out, and asked who would call who next. He said we are past that stage and it shouldnt matter. So i guess i am not going to worry about it. He said he'd see me soon. We kissed goodbye, several times. So i'm glad we talked about it...i wished he would have stayed...but the last time things got pretty hot and heavy, no sex...so maybe he was thinking that would happen again and it may have 'frustrated' him. So that's it...he said he likes me and wants to see me again. AFter 3 weeks and all this confusion i guess that's all i can ask for. I appreciated that he asked if it would make me more comfortable if we just set up a date now...but i didnt want to seem annoying...

Did you not have sex beacuse you didnt want to or he didnt want to?

If he didnt want to then he isnt a typical guy, so try to keep him.

Im surprised he was confused about you being confused re making plans.
Its good taht you came out with it.

He seemed a bit wishy washy but after yuo made it clear to him he sounds a bit better.
Contact him if you want to see him again soon as he is a bloke he will probably assume you will contact him.

You are NOT annoying, you just want simple answers to simple questions and to move your life on, not stick in limbo.

I beg to differ. I think she makes way to much out of nothing.

Reading too much into a situation will make it seem like whatever you want it to be.

No wonder guys flake around her. I couldn't stand the drama either.

re
well last week was stressful in terms of what was going on...i had to ask

I dont know if i should just wait for him to contact me? I feel like i should...aghhh!

OK, take Bellas advice, dont over analize things.
Then take my advice, just call him, its the only way he is gona want to know you want to meet up.

re
I need more advice on this. Things were a bit rocky with this guy last week. He was busy, went away at one point, i didnt hear from him much. We made plans on monday for friday. On Thursday we got into a bit of an argument. I called him, we talked he made no mention of us going out. I asked him if he even wanted to go out, he basically said he found me to be frustrating. We ended the convo ok, but the next day he cancelled saying he was throwing up. Turns out he really was. So the next night he calls me and is drunk, tells me he really likes me, but finds me to be frustrating, difficult, etc. He had told my friend the same thing earlier. He just made a lot of mention that night that he really likes me...but i'm difficult. THen he left without saying goodbye. Next day, calls, leaves a voimceail apologizing for leaving without saying bye, says he was drunk and frustrated, but would love to talk to me, would love to see me, and if i dont hate him, call him back. I called, we didnt talk about much, he did say he was frustrated, but asked if we could just enjoy spending time together rather than disccussing it.

He was going shopping and he invited me along. Things were fine. Towards the end, he sat down on the grass in the parking lot and basically told me a lot of useful information. Ill spare you the boring details, but basically yes he thinks im frustrating at times, but he still likes being with me. He pointed out that he is only here for another month and what would i see happening when he leaves for school. It seemed weird to be talking about it when we've only known each other 5 weeks...but he is leaving in a month. He pretty much said that he would be leaning towards not continuing things when he goes back to school. Said he didnt date anyone last year there and it worked well for him. He also said that i seem pretty demanding and there would be expectations that he perhaps couldnt meet in terms of coming to visit me, calling me, etc. He said he's very busy up there. He said that he's had a taste of my behavior already and baically thinks i would get mad if i didnt hear from him according to my needs or see him.

I basically told him that it sounds like he thinks i'm not worth it, he said, i can see how youd think that, but that's not the case. He asked a lot of questions like would i date anyone else if we continued things, how often would i expect to see him. I said that he is only going 2 hours away so to me it would be doable granted things were still good. He said that he has done ldrs before and they didnt work for him. He said he wasnt totally ruling out a possiblilty of continuing things, but he said that if he left tomorrow...he wouldnt want to.

Overall...i cant blame him. He's in a very rigourous program and we dont know each other well. I appreciated that he brought it up and was honest. a lot of guys wouldnt be and would probably just try and take what they wanted (sex) and not think twice about it, just knowing that they'd be skipping town soon.

so i know i should probably end this...i told him he was being sort of negative about the whole thing and he said he'd rethink things tonight...i dont imagine he'll change his mind though

re
anyone?