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Thu 13 Jul, 2006 09:30 am
Yes i'm back with questions about a guy i've known for about 3 weeks
First week things were good, we hung out thursday, friday and all day saturday into sunday morning. We havent had sex yet FYI.
then he went away for 2 days...ever since he came back he's seemed more distant. In those 3 days he was very open with me, asking me questions, telling me things about himself. He told me that he really likes me. Anyways, when he came back the first time we talked he said he wanted to see me at some point over the weekend. WE didnt make set plans. I figured, whatever. He called the next night, left a voicemail saying that he wanted to know if i wanted to go to the movies. I e-mailed the next day saying sure i'd go. So on that date he told me i said something on the phone 2 days earlier that scared him...he didnt remember what it was though. I shrugged it off because as far as i coudl see, i hadnt done anything 'scary' and since he'd asked me out again, coudlnt have been a huge deal
So that nigth he tells me again that he likes me...then when i left he told me to call him. This was friday...i was confused as to when he'd want to go out again. So that night (sat) i went out with friends, then texted him at 11 when i got in. He told me to call him, i did. I ended up asking him if he wanted to watch the world cup with me sunday, he told me to call him that morning. long story short, he didnt come, i wasnt upset about it, he left a voicemail saying this because i missed the call. I called him that night, he seemed quiet, i told him so, he said he's not a phoen person, just uses it to make plans, etc, wishes he could talk better on the phone. I let him go...He e-mailed me tuesday, i wrote back yesterday and we exchanged a few. He asked me what i was up to this week, i asked him the same, but he didnt ask me to do anything. He did mention that on sat he might go to a casino, do i like gambling? i was honest and said i wanst a huge gambler...wanst like he'd invited me to go or anythign though...but i didnt hear back from him after that
I sent him one line email this morning...no word back.
What is his deal? He seemed interested...but now he doesnt. I am sick of meeting guys like this...i dont think i came on too strong...it was his idea to hang out as much as we did 2 weeks ago...i figure he musnt be totally uninterested seeing how he was e-mailing me yesterday...i'm tired of these guessing games with men!!!!!!!
If you like the guy and he invites you to a casino say YES even if you dont like to gamble.
Its not the place, its the fact that he asked you to go somewhere with him.
Maybe your NO answer has confused him/put him off.
Good luck with the reply to the email and hang on in there if you like him.
My ex didnt like phone either, but face to face he was fab.
r3
the thing about the casino is that he didnt really even invite me. He stated that he might drive down there for part of the day saturday if the weather is awful. He then said, do you like gambling? I"m sorry, but e-mail can be vague, esp not knowing him well and i didnt take it as an invite. It's weird...i dont feel like he's that interested this week...that's all i can say now.
Send another friendly/flirty email, just a general message or invite him somewhere, then the ball is in his court.
Decide on the answer he gives to play it cool or not.
He may just be busy and hasnt had time to answer.
Just have to warn you I havnt had a boyfriend for 4 years so my advice may be pointless.
re
well i did already send a little one liner this morning just saying i hope he had a safe drive home last night (it poured) No response as of yet...
I think I blew it...dont really know what i did...he came on pretty strong in the beginning...the made that comment that I said something that scared him, but couldnt remember what it was? Weird...
If he cant remmeber what it was that scared him then he has the onset of losing his marbles.
It cant have been that scary if he cant remember!
Plus Im assuming you arnt officailly going out exclusivly together so what does he have to get scared about?!
Very weird.
Hold out for him if yuo like him enough,but if he doesnt contact you you cant wait for him forever.
Playon--
Something you said scared this guy and he wants to go slow.
Let him go slow. The last thing you need is to get your emotions all tangled up--again--on another rebound.
Not every guy you meet will be a keeper.
re
well we exchanged a bunch of e-mails today. He mentioned that we hadnt talked much this week and was that bad and was it ok? I said, yeah we havent talked much this week, i guess because you're not a phone person. He said, Or because you havent call, or because i'm so bad on the phone that you dont want to call? i said that i did call him sunday, he said he wasnt a phone person, plus i thoght the phone worked both ways. Being mr funny he went on to say that his phone was broken, the send button didnt work. Basically we went on and on with the stupid jokes, he ended up saying am i going to get to see your pretty face in the near future, i asked when he was around...he said all weekend...he seems to want me to do all of the work...and i'm not going to. I was the last to write to him...then he was going out with co workers...
Sounds like you're both on the anxiety plane. Is that a good thing?
re
it has gotten weirder...he called me 2am this morning. He was not drunk, said he just couldnt sleep. I hadnt verbally spoken to him since sunday. We chatted a bit, then he said, we should hang out. I said, ok when? As soon as i asked that it seemed to go downhill. He couldnt seem to make plans. He said he was around all weekend, i said i had something to do sat, he said ok, we'll make plans aroudn your plans so at one point tonight was brought up. I mentioned us doing something tonight, and he said we dont know if we definitely are. I started to get annoyed...making plans should not be this difficult. He ended up saying he was going to sleep and he'd talk to me later....he said a couple of times that he had wanted to hear my voice...
This guy sounds like your alter ego, playon. Maybe what you said something before that scared him because it reminded him of himself and his own issues. It sounds like the two of you have the potential for a long game of ping-pong.
re
should i contact him and apologize...or should i just wait for him to make the next move?
You should decide if you want to get involved with someone who is potentially as insecure as you are. For now I would suggest keeping things very casual and simple. I know it's hard for you to keep your attachments in check, but maybe he will turn out to be a long-term friend rather than a boyfriend. Everybody needs friends.
This guy calls you on his broken phone and he doesnt even like using the phone!!
He knows you are free apart from sometime on Saturday and he still cant make plans!!
You have nothing to apologise for.
Just let him know when you are free and let him decide when to meet up.
He is ar*ing you around.
re
he just e-mailed me this:
Sorry about the late-night call last night. It was nice to talk to you though.
AHHH! No mention of hanging out!
That was nice.
If you want an answer, email him ' Im free (insert when your free),let me know if you want to meet up'.
The ball is then in his court.
re
well i sent an email about an hour and a half. I said this:
No worries about the late night call, it was nice to talk to you too.
So I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight? It was brought up last night, I would up for it, but I wasn't sure if are or not.
If you can't, it's no big deal (:
Have not received a response...I dont get it...I'm confused. He said over e-mail and on the phoen yesterday that he wanted to hang out...i wonder if i'm being too much? I dont see how i coudl be since i hadnt talked to him since sunday...he brought up going out, i was just asking him for a set time.
Why are you stressing about a 1.5 hour delay? Tonight is a long ways off yet. RELAX!
re
I just think something weird is up....
I think he is either seeing someone else, just wants a FWB situation and doesnt know how to tell me, or is just really insecure to accepting my invite to go out?? I'm mystified.
oof, you always think something is up, playon. Why does something have to be up? You're falling into the same 'what's wrong' trap you typically fall into when, at this point, this is a strictly casual relationship.
You specifically invited him out tonight. Now relax and enjoy the rest of your day. If you haven't heard back from him by this evening then make other plans. If he says yes then go out with him if you want to. If he says he busy tonight, then don't assume something is up. Perhaps he's busy!
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