Well.... duh... of course I've CONTEMPLATED divorce.

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I had an interview with a social worker the other day regarding adoption. Today she called back with some follow up questions, one of which was "Have you and Mr. B. ever CONTEMPLATED divorce".

Well.... duh... of course we have. We've been together for 20 years fercryingoutloud.

Actually what I said was "Of course I have contemplated divorce but you would have to ask him if he has ever contemplated divorcing me."

I have CONTEMPLATED what would happen if I were running down the street holding a pencil and tripped and jammed the pencil through my nose and into my brain.

I have CONTEMPLATED what I would do if I were out hiking on my oddyknocky and clumsy me tripped and fell and ended up paralyzed stuck in some brush and how I might get help.

I have CONTEMPLATED what life would be like if I had webbed feet, two heads, six arms, bound feet and no bones. (Not all at the same time but now I have CONTEMPLATED even that idea.)

And I have CONTEMPLATED what life might be like if I didn't have a mouth.

I don't think there is one damn thing in the world I haven't CONTEMPLATED.

But I'm curious, is there anyone who hasn't been married for.... lets say.... more than 3 years who has not CONTEMPLATED divorce?

If not then I sincerely apologize for making you frikken CONTEMPLATE it now.

Go ahead..... spill!

(Note: when I was so dazzled by her question she did laugh and say "Perhaps CONTEMPLATE is not the best word choice.")

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Never... Shocked

Now run for cover because I just lied like a dog!

19 years and counting, its funny..atleast once a week I'm hit with that thought of running like hell and being FREEEEEeee...just FREEEEEeeee, but the clothes dryer buzzing brings me back to reality!

One would think that when questioning candidates for an adoption... that asking them if they've ever comptemplated the murder of their spouse, would make more sense...lol then questioning divorce.

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makemeshiver33 wrote:

One would think that when questioning candidates for an adoption... that asking them if they've ever comptemplated the murder of their spouse, would make more sense...lol then questioning divorce.

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Quote:

One would think that when questioning candidates for an adoption... that asking them if they've ever comptemplated the murder of their spouse, would make more sense...lol then questioning divorce.

You took my line away!!!

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Honestly?

No, I never have contemplated divorce in the marriage I'm in now, 12 and a half years.

I'm divorced from someone else, so of course I'd contemplated (and looked foward to) that.

Not to sound goody-two-shoes, but I knew after that first crappy marriage I wasn't going to let go of the fine man I found to remarry. I knew how bad it could be, and knew this marriage was a different dimension in comparison.

Sure we have our times. But even in the roughest spots, we've both known being apart wasn't an option.

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Oh jezzee..........They asked you that? Rolling Eyes

I guess I can see the point, but yeah... that is kind of a stupid question.

fer fukkers sake, i was contemplating divorce just last week

Last month I was contemplating a tatoo across my boobs of Misters name

Last year I was looking for a wedding ring that would fit what I consider to be his favorite finger

A couple of months ago, I contemplated tying him to his chair, and taping his forehead to the computer........for a few weeks

Then I just decided to sit down stairs and flush the toilet while he was taking a shower.

Gotta love that contemplation huh?

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Do peopel contemplate divorce before they get married the first time?
Is it seen as a 'get out of jail' card to play?ie, Il give marriage ago, if I dont like it i can get divorced.

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material girl wrote:

Do peopel contemplate divorce before they get married the first time?
Is it seen as a 'get out of jail' card to play?ie, Il give marriage ago, if I dont like it i can get divorced.

Sadly, I do believe that some people do think that way. Marriage is a process. It takes a long time to work the kinks out. I think that if a person has "one foot out the door" before the ink is even dry on the marriage license, he/she should not be contemplating marriage at all.

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I have a theory that is only based on personal experience. People who contemplate divorce on (or about) their wedding day are more likely to get divorced within 5 years. I've been to many weddings in the last 40 or so years and I've noticed this outcome.

Yes, I've contemplated all the above plus: changing the locks, making him live with his mother in the next town and just packing up some stuff and moving to Belize without telling anyone.

I should also mention that my husband and I once went to an animal shelter to adopt a dog and we're asked: "If you get divorced, who will get custody of the dog?" I told them my husband would because I would be moving to Belize and it would be too much trouble to bring a dog.

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Green Witch- I think that your experience makes sense. We all know that "'til death do us part", is sometimes not realistic. But I think that a couple needs to begin a marriage with the mindset that the marriage will last forever. If they do so, they are less likely to give up when a bumpy spots rears its head.

If the attitude is "If it does not work out, we can divorce", I think that there is less of an impetus to attempt to "fix" any problems within the marriage.

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(message to Green Witch ~ sorry, but you'll have to pick another country. My sister moved to Belize with cat and dog. If they have vaccination records from a Canadian or American vet, the Belizean authorities have no problems!)

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Quote:

Green Witch- I think that your experience makes sense. We all know that "'til death do us part", is sometimes not realistic. But I think that a couple needs to begin a marriage with the mindset that the marriage will last forever. If they do so, they are less likely to give up when a bumpy spots rears its head

Yea....I've seen some like a certain sister of mine that changes men like she does dirty socks...."Their replaceable."

But now I'm guilty of wanting to replace mine from time to time...replace him with a condo on some mountain lake...lol

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I am sort of on the same line as Chai...I've never contemplated divorce...but I have contemplated what life would be like had we never married.

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Re: Well.... duh... of course I've CONTEMPLATED divorce.

boomerang wrote:

I have CONTEMPLATED what I would do if I were out hiking on my oddyknocky and clumsy me tripped and fell and ended up paralyzed stuck in some brush and how I might get help.

I have CONTEMPLATED what life would be like if I had webbed feet, two heads, six arms, bound feet and no bones. (Not all at the same time but now I have CONTEMPLATED even that idea.)

And I have CONTEMPLATED what life might be like if I didn't have a mouth.

Am I the only one thinking that Boomer needs a hobby?!?!?

And what the hell is an oddyknocky?

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Re: Well.... duh... of course I've CONTEMPLATED divorce.

boomerang wrote:

Go ahead..... spill!

Well, I'm not married, but I did contemplate divorces anyway. And what's more, I've contemplated committing and suffering every crime in the German penal code. (I found the committing side more fun to contemplate than the suffering side.) This can mean only one thing: No adoptive children for me.

(Do you have to answer such questions before you can home-make a child in America too?)

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Definitely have contemplated it. Mostly at times when I felt vulnerable and needed some independence. Mostly when the children were babies.

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Re: Well.... duh... of course I've CONTEMPLATED divorce.

Thomas wrote:

boomerang wrote:
Go ahead..... spill!

Well, I'm not married, but I did contemplate divorces anyway. And what's more, I've contemplated committing and suffering every crime in the German penal code. (I found the committing side more fun to contemplate than the suffering side.) This can mean only one thing: No adoptive children for me.

(Do you have to answer such questions before you can home-make a child in America too?)

Ha! They don't make you answer anything to home-make a child in America! If people had to answer all of the questions I did in order to have a kid we would have zero population growth.

I was thinking along the same lines: Wow! I guess they would never let Stephan King adopt a child because he has contemplated (and written about) more horrid things that I could ever imagine.

I think MMS's question makes more sense and I think they might also ask if you have ever contemplated running away from home.

I'm very happily married to a really great guy. The words "I want a divorce" have never been spoken to the other. Something damn serious and criminal would have to happen for divorce to be a real option for me.

But heck yeah, I've contemplated.

I'm glad the woman had a sense of humor and laughed when I said "Contemplated!?"

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Yeah, like you there isn't much I haven't contemplated. (OK, the bound feet + no bones +++ one was new to me... but there, now I've contemplated it too!)

What a stupid question. I'm sure she meant "is there a serious risk of you guys divorcing," but that's not the way to ask. Glad she had a sense of humor.

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Well boomerang - I have thought about what it would be like to run away from home - more a fantasy that is pretty close to contemplate I guess. I too, have thought of divorce briefly - but like you it would have to be damn serious or criminal - like abuse or cheating to actually really want it. Almost like running away though.

I think the furthest and strangest thing I contemplated was losing my hands/arms and not being able to write. The contemplation wasn't the odd thing - the furthest I carried the contemplation was the odd thing - I actually used to practice writing with my toes - just in case. (Also it was fun).

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I comptemplate a wide variety of fantasys everyday...

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Well.... duh... of course I've CONTEMPLATED divorce.

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