asking for tips?

Ciccerone-Well maybe if its once a year and they have budgeted it then fine,but have you ever asked them if they mind or have you just assumed that its ok to split it?
Suppose it depends on the amount.As i said previously i dont mind paying £5-£10 more than i ordered but £20-£30 more is too much.
I dont mean to sound like a stick in the mud.I want to go out with my friends but the money issue has really upset me over the years.

Dont think I could ask for seperate bills, Id look like a cheapskate kn*b.No one likes to rock the merriment boat.Im not exactly outgoing as it is and making a fuss about money will make me even more unpopular.

I dont understand why Im the one that feels bad.Surely the people that want to split it equally should feel bad!

I did bring it up once in my timid way but I was ignored.

Plus, once a few years back, we all went out about 20 of us.Had a great time, but at the end the person who organised it put his share of it on the company credit card and wrote it off as expenses, so he got it for free while the rest of us paid!!!!!How sh*tty is that!!!

material girl, The subject of sharing equally a restaurant bill has been on the top of my mind ever since I can remember thinking about it, but nobody in our social group has ever breached this issue.

When I worked for nonprofit organizations during my working years, I never asked our friends to donate to our organization, because they would feel obligated. We have usually supported our friend's money raising events, and did so happily - simply because we could afford to.

I know money issues are very sensitive subjects even amongst family members.

I think if any of our friends told us they had difficulty paying their share of the restaurant bill, all of us will chip in the difference.

It's an issue of "affordability" for the individual that gets translated in different ways.

I remember when I didn't have much money, a good friend treated me to night clubs and fancy restaurants. His generosity has been a good lesson for me.

I think everyone should pay what they owe. If you ate and drank $10 worth of food and drink, you pay $10 plus a portion of the tip. If your buddy ate and drank $25 worth of food and drink, he pays $25 plus a portion of the tip.

Anyone who just automatically divides the meal/drinks up evenly is most likely a moocher and cheapskate and probably ate and drank more than anyone there. It's ahrd to speak up in situations like that so next time, just say to the waitress "Could you put my bill seperate?"

As it should be... :wink:

Back a few years ago, we were down and a friend took us out, bought us drinks, whatnot...and now that we are financially stable, we are helping out some friends of ours who are down on their luck.

What goes around comes around...

Its good that you help them out but its not like Im ordering what I cant afford.
If I couldnt afford it I wouldnt order it.I cant afford to pay for other peoples orders and i shouldnt be expected to pay for it.
Im happy to pay for what I ordered and a tip in a restaurant.


And breath oooout and relaaaaaaax.....

I know what you mean Bella.

Now that I'm settled it really is a pleasure to treat someone who's just starting to make their way.

Mg, I don't know what to say. You're upset (and rightfully so in this instance) about paying more than your share, but it seems you don't think any of the solutions will work.

If you choose to take any action at all, there's going to be at least a second or two of "oh!" on the face of someone. I don't think that can be avoided.

I was trying to think of the lesser of two evils type of thing.

Everyone paying separately, as Tico said can work, but only if everyone's on board with that already. So that might get "looks" from several people, if not all, and may start up an unwanted conversation at the table.

Just saying "forget it, I'll just keep doing paying more than my share", is only keeping you in a stew.

If you're not opposed to chipping in a bit more, the splitting of food and drink just seems the least intrusive. If someone says something, right up front and in all honesty you can say…"well, I'm not drinking tonight, and frankly that ends up being a really big part of the bill."

I honestly cannot imagine that someone would object to that. If they did, I'd think they were a real dick. I mean, what could be object too? Everybody knows booze is expensive, it's no secret. Good God, I'm trying to picture eating with four people, and one persons sitting there w/ 1 two dollar ice tea and the rest of us having $15 worth of drinks each and not taking that into consideration. That's just common sense.

The questions I asked before….Does the same person always take the bill and just toss out a number? When the time comes, why don't YOU be the one who asks for the bills….have it come to your hands. Then you can say "here's the food bill…$200.00, that's $20.00 a piece, and here's the bar tab, who of you that were drinking wants to be in charge of dividing that up?"
THEN, JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

That's what I mean when I say I don't like discussing money in public. You get the bill, quietly and quickly get it out of the way, and move on. If you said the above, do you think anyone would say. "HEY mg, that's not fair, you've got to pay for your share of the drinks!...oh, you….didn't have any….did you." They wouldn't dare.

Role play for me…What would be the response if you asked the waiter yourself to separate the bill into two?

Chai Tea, That sounds like a very good idea to me; it shouldn't offend anybody.

We never really socialise with exactly the same groupe of people.Last time the person that got the bill was the one that said I shouldnt have to pay more, which was nice.

Asking to have seperate bills would make me look like a pikey div.

In future Im just going to pay for what I ordered plus about a fiver more.If anyone complains I will say this 'I have cheaper meals, usually no pudding and I dont drink.The total has been divided over the last 10 years meaning I pay at least £20 more than I should.Over the 10 years this has amounted to £400 down the drain.If we all pay for what we ordered there will be enough money to go round.Or alternatively i can take my money out and you can pay for my food like ive had to pay for yours'If you dont like iot you can kiss my ar*e'.

Atta girl. Practice saying it VERY SWEETLY.

i used to work inthe restaurant...and this had happened. you can ask the waiter to seperate the bill. even when i go out with my friends, we go to the cashier together and say i had this and that, how much is it? and i do the same.

i was so shocked that my co workers can ask for tips from the customer . if the customers used crdit card, there's a place for tips. some people give tips without you telling them while some just sign their name. but when my co worker saw the customers didn't write any amount on the tip. she would ask the customer to check if the amount was right so they'll see the word TIP. i can't believe they did that.

I think it is the practice in a lot of countries to have a service change and then people may or might not leave a small tip. I don't remember about Mexico, haven't been there in a while, but a lot of restaurants in Italy have a big service charge. It's hard to know if the waitstaff get that money or not, as a traveller who probably won't be going to the cafe more than a few times if that. I've read that one could leave a few thousand lira extra (haven't been there since the euro came in), so I did. Total tangent, the restaurant staff were usually fantastic, there when you needed them and not intrusive, and a lot seemed to take pride in their job. Maybe I'm just starry eyed, but I think there was a sense of professional career about the job, a little different from feeling I get about the average cafe in Los Angeles.

I've often been the one in Material Girl's position re money when going out to dinner with friends, and... often not. Finances vary. I remember one time going out with a large group of classmates for dinner and ordering something small, say only a glass of iced tea, and then having the announcement later that we all owed, say, $28.00. I paid it by credit card because I didn't want to make a scene with that particular large group. Might have been worth it, in that I was so irritated with myself I've never let anything like that happen again. But, it needn't have been a scene, I should have just commented that I didn't order food or wine, and put in, say, a five dollar bill.

Well, that was a long time ago, and I've since gone out to lunch or dinner with many groups of friends. I like it best when whoever is near the check picks it up, does a quick evaluation that we all ordered in the same range of costs, figures the 20% tip, and divides by the number of people. Easy.

But sometimes the prices vary a lot, say someone gets the prie fixe seven course special, including wines for the key courses - and someone gets an appetizer and salad and one glass of wine -

or even if not such a variation - some people are more used to and comfortable figuring what they each owe, including tip, and putting the dollars in a pile. Maybe I have unusually smart friends - there's hardly ever too little money in that pile, and it doesn't take all that long.

In the US, I always leave a tip even if I am irritated by the service, but will size it accordingly. Obvious efforts towards the end of the meal to wring a big tip when the rest of the meal service has been lame ... make me only give the minimum.

This tipping business drives Australians mad!

Workers here, (waitstaff, etc.) are paid a decent wage, and don't need to resort to the begging and grovelling that is tipping. While we might tip in a restaurant if the service is good, it's entirely a choice thing - although visiting Americans mean it's more expected gthat it used to be. You're giving us your bad habits (as well as George Bush).

I recently spent a night in a well-known hotel in a tourist area - Kakadu National Park, frequented by people from all over the world. The porter, who showed us where the reception desk as (pretty obvious really) sort of stood around, and then apparently realised we were Australians and disappeared. It wouldn't have occurred to me to tip him - but watching in the foyer later, I saw other tourists give him money. That fellow earns a decent living wage - probably as much as I do - and shouldn't be asking for charity, or extra. He gets paid for his work.

Tip the hairdresser - he'd faint. Taxi driver - maybe keep the change - or round it up - sometimes they round it down - sort of them tipping you.

I always struggle with the tipping thing overseas - it just doesn't come naturally to me (or most Aussies). It is one of the things that quite deters me from visiting the US!

Y'know ~ Canadians are noted, in the tourist areas of the Latin America and the Caribbean, as being bad tippers. I wonder if this is some strange holdover from British colonialism?

(And I'm sure we wouldn't tip at all if our restaurant servers, etc., made a decent wage.)

Not just in those places Tico...in the States too.

I lived for years in S. Fla, near Hollywood, which seemed to be a popular destination for many French Canadians.

It was a constant complaint how they did not tip.

The funny thing was, many came down for extended periods, like over a month, and had been doing so for years. Yet, I had quite a few people who worked as waiters tell me that they would use the excuse "we didn't know we were supposed to tip" Which certainly wouldn't hold up since they were here year after year.

Or if they did tip, they would leave something like 50 cents for the whole bill.

It was a vicious cycle. The waitstaff would resent them since they were not tipping (and here waitress to not make even minium wage, they rely on tips) and the FC would not see the connection between the level of service and the tip.

They still should have received good service you say? Well, I guess in a perfect world. I can imagine how I'd feel making 3 bucks an hour, taking care of someone for a half and hour, to find a few dimes left for me.

TIP is anyone cares to remember stands for To Ensure Promptness.

Another reason for doing a little research on your travel destination.

That's nonesense. How about getting a job where you are not dependent on handouts for your income... Also, I've heard from so many non-Americans, that when they have neglected to leave a tip, the server "informs them" that they should leave one. That's just rude. Congratulations America.

It's a reflection of American culture that a server, who's job it is to do their bloody job, will take on a **** attitude if they do not receive a tip. It is also American culture to feel owed, in general. It's also why so many fat Americans sue at the drop of the hat. If something goes wrong, it is someone elses fault. Not their own. Therefore a server, who is enduring a shitty job situation, and making little income, blames the customer (an wow, usually a foreigner, let's blame foreigners) for not giving them money for nothing.

I agree - you took the typing out of my fingers.

If you are life long friends, then could you explain that you are tight on cash...and give them option one or two from before.

Known that way in the US as well. My husband had worked in the restaurant industry for quite a long time and he told me so - especially after we went out to eat a restaurant he was managing with a Canadian. This Canadian friend offered to leave the tip. When we were leaving, my husband came up to me and asked if there was a problem with the service. Seems this Canadian did not realize the US % customs. My friend and I gave the difference.

I think the Canadian thing is that they normally do not pay as high a tip as the US so they are following their own custom rather than the US. I don't they necessarily mean to be "cheap" just they do not realize we tip higher.

I always leave a cash tip just cos I like to think that this will go directly to the waiter / waitress. I always tip in restaurants, hairdressers and taxis and I would tip for room service in a hotel. I would also tip the bin men / window cleaners but only at Christmas! I think this might be a British thing but I could be wrong.