msolga wrote:dlowan wrote:Human beings, even men, can actually manage intense love/sexual feelings and not die of it, get mean, or say sayonara to the friendship!!!
I can imagine that, if it was too serious, one might have to disappear, at least for a while....but lots of sexual attractions arise and fade quite quickly.
Yes.
I think it's called self control, using your common sense in the situation .... those sorts of
boring,
restrictive things!:wink:
A sexual attraction doesn't
have to override all other aspects of a good relationship which has a lot else going for it.
Lol! Reminds me of this strange fella I worked with...brought up as Seventh Day Adventist...got married very young...weird fella.
Anyhoo, he asked to speak to me one day because he was in the grip of lust for a tutor he had for a bit of study he was doing.
He fancied himself in love (had known her for six tutorials) and fancied her in love with him (for no discernible reason I was able to ascertain...ie there was nothing he described in interactions with her that said any such thing, to me and there had been no out of tutorial contact!)
"I don't know what to do!" he said "I don't want to lose my wife and family, but I can't lie to her."
I think it took about three hours to introduce him to the idea that:
a. He was likely in lust, not love.
b. All lust does not have to be consummated.
b. i All LOVE does not have to be consummated.
b. ii It is possible to have a feeling without acting on it. It will then likely go away.
c. If it is to be consummated, it helps if the other person is willing.
d. He had no evidence that the other person was thusly willing, except an overheated imagination running on inexperience and testosterone.
e. Even if the other person felt the same, b i,ii, and iii still applied.
f. IF She was willing and they decided to go for it, it was possible to have a fling that did not take over your whole life.
g. He was a (semi) adult and responsible being...he had CHOICES, lust did not mean he had none.
All new concepts to him.
As I recall, he stopped being in utter lust shortly after, and had a good time in the tute letting the tingles give energy to the interaction. (As they do, wonderfully, in my experience. Mmmmmmmm...)
Phew!
) ... & on our arrival he proceeded to read extracts from the bible to me. He was very passionate about it, let me tell you! Sadly, my passion vanished in an instant! 
