Bunny Revere versus Evil de Kere.

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Women, Men, Dogs, Cats, Assorted Cartoon Characters, Mythological Creatures, Abstract Images, Bunnies, Avatarless Folk, and Anything Else I Have Forgotten of A2k,

I have a serious and terrifying story to unfold.

It all began, seemingly harmlessly and amusingly, here:

Craven de Kere wrote:

margo wrote:
Like Olga said.....lustre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The basic, overwhelming problem with this site is the lack of decent discussion on CRICKET!

Cricket - that most intellectual of occupations! More absorbing, entrancing that the combination of religion, war and Bush-hating (although that is a special category!)

Cricket - develops character, patience, humility, numeracy, agility co-ordination, and several other good things....

One of the great cricket challenges of the past 200 years is approaching - and where's the discussion! Where's the analysis?

See!!! No wonder the site is going to hell! It's all the fault of the Murricans (like most else!)

I anticipated this bizzare desire to discuss cricket and already made a category for it on the new site.

Now I just have to figure out how to trap all the Aussies there...

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=2085167#2085167

When I first saw it, I laughed, too....then, a creeping dread began to insinuate itself into the recesses of my mind.....

We KNOW Craven is a complex and devilish being.....what if...what if...this seeming joke was a little bubble escaping to the surface from the brewings, in the depths, of a vast and evil conspiracy?

Now, I have certain....er...connections (do not ask more...if I told you I would have to kill you) with the less docile and cowed of A2k's hamsters....

With great difficulty and danger I have plumbed the depths of the organisational structure of this mighty site, and returned with proof positive of an evil conspiracy against the non American members, to be operationalised when we shift to the new A2k!!!

American A2kers! Come to us! We furriners need your support! Furrin A2keres, rally together!

Far from merely seeking to trap Australians in cricket, de Kere seeks to find a category to imprison each and every non American A2ker in!!!!!!!

I shall return soon with an incriminating memo, and more details....but, suffice to say that Canajuns will be frozen forever in Ice Hockey!

The Brits, (since the evil one was unable to find a sport in which they excelled) shall be glued to their seats eternally in a subsection of Food and Drink called Afternoon Tea. Imagine...drinking tea forever, and unable to get up to go to the loo!

Francis, upon hearing of this, immediately surrendered on behalf of the French, and has negotiated their freedom, in return for supplying the Evil One eternally with cheese and shrubberies....

Justice and Freedom loving creatures of A2k, how shall we fight this looming menace?

Help us!

You may not always love us,
Sometimes you'd like to shove us,
But, if we lose our freedom,
It's after you that he'll come!

We need intelligence...does anyone know anything about where he plans to trap other nationalities?

[size=7](For any irony impaired folk who may come, this is a JOKE, right!)[/size]

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Surely the Canajuns will be lured to the toroid crest of an outsized Tim Horton's donut, from whence they will slide into the undefined space in the hole and be lost forever to Amreekan eyes and ears, save for a spinning withered maple leaf and the distant echoes of a final "Eh."

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Say it ain't so, eh!

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Texans caged like wild beasts! What'll we do in there, exchange "Texas big" jokes?

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I'm gonna have to copy this entire thread into my "I don't speak Australian" thread.

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Trapped....... in a MATRIX of neverending cricket threads. Assailed neverendingly by droning chants of WARNEY WAaaaaaaaRrrrrrNEY and HADLEY IS A WANKER!

Who will save us. There must be someone willing to be "THE ONE"

can you resist the all seeing agent de kere!

Save us, save us all.

rrrrrriiiinnnnggg rrrriiiinggg, rrrriiinnngggg rrriiiinnng,...............

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I don't believe a bit of it, but to be on the safe side, I'm not going into any forum labeled "Cricket". Sounds too much like Roach Motel. You know, "They check in, but they don't check out."

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That sounds like "Hotel California," roger.

Uh oh.

Craven's in California, isn't he.

Shocked

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The evil one lurks in San Diego....

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Well, luckily enough the Dutch seem to be excluded, so I'll just be standing aside as an evil semi-henchman, snickering and working on my evil leer. Heeeeeehehehheheheh

Cricket.

* snicker *

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edgarblythe wrote:

Texans caged like wild beasts! What'll we do in there, exchange "Texas big" jokes?

Well, so far the leaked memo refers only to those deemed furriners by you Murricans...however, I have no doubt it will be Texans next.

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najmelliw wrote:

Well, luckily enough the Dutch seem to be excluded, so I'll just be standing aside as an evil semi-henchman, snickering and working on my evil leer. Heeeeeehehehheheheh

Cricket.

* snicker *

Nope...the Dutch are included...de Kere is canvassing amongst his minions for ideas about where you shall be imprisoned.

The hamsters keep whispering "dykes" and "all their fingers", but generally faint before being able to contiue....

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Oh, that's okay. Really. There are more then enough people without jobs here who can be used to plug holes in the dykes.

Besides, I like to swim. In fact, I like to swim much more then I like to play cricket.

Heeeeheheheheheheh

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najmelliw wrote:

Oh, that's okay. Really. There are more then enough people without jobs here who can be used to plug holes in the dykes.

Besides, I like to swim. In fact, I like to swim much more then I like to play cricket.

Heeeeheheheheheheh

The Dutch didn't do to bad at the last Cricket World Cup. Careful you're not sucked down with us!

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dlowan wrote:

edgarblythe wrote:
Texans caged like wild beasts! What'll we do in there, exchange "Texas big" jokes?

Well, so far the leaked memo refers only to those deemed furriners by you Murricans...however, I have no doubt it will be Texans next.

But Texans are considered furriners, by residents of 49 of these United States

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najmelliw wrote:

Oh, that's okay. Really. There are more then enough people without jobs here who can be used to plug holes in the dykes.

Besides, I like to swim. In fact, I like to swim much more then I like to play cricket.

Heeeeheheheheheheh

Not a bad play on words, najmelliw. Not bad at all.

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Now now, don't read too much in my choice of words... It's terribly early in the morning and I am still in the process of waking up.

But then again, perhaps I am at my best when I'm half asleep, which makes it semi-ironic I have such trouble getting any (sleep that is).

I'm sure a good swim will clear up my mind though.

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I, for one, say "good riddance to bad rubbish."

See? They've even infected my language....

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Here is one of the memos...smuggled out at great risk to the hamsters in question:

From: Craven de Kere,
Grand Imperial Poobah
Today A2k, Tomorrow the World Inc.

To: Messrs. Beelzebub, Lucifer and Legion,
Hamsters in Charge
Operations, Development and General Deviltry.

Re: Quarantine and Containment of non US members.

1. Australian Compound.

a. I believe I neglected when giving orders for the erection of the Australian proof fence around Cricket that the fence be extended 20' underground for its entire perimeter. I have been informed that this is necessary to stop rabbits from escaping.

Take care of it.

b. Only American beer will be served to Australians. Make them pay in $US.

2. Canadian Compound

a. I hesitated to imprison the Canadians since they are not a real country, however, having decided they will be restricted to the Ice Hockey category, I see no need to spend a lot on their fencing. They have a tendency to be docile.

3. France

Francis surrendered before I made any decisions re the French compound, so few materials were ordered. These can be used on the German enclosure. The cheese and shrubberies are to be delivered to me on a monthly basis, on the first of every month.

4. Germany.

I have not yet decided whether the Germans will be restricted to Oompah Music, or Men in Leather Pants. I don't mind getting input on this. How are the Berlin Wall rubble retrieval team going? If I hear about more drunken hamsters attracting attention over there we'll need to double the number of punishment cells for when those lazy fluffy butts get their asses back here. This operation requires total secrecy. It's your scalp too, Legion, if it happens again.

5. Beelzebub, I received your memo noting that numbers of your hamsters are questioning this decision.

I am concerned that they appear to be lapsing into the belief that this is some sort of democracy, so give 20 of them a lashing.

You can tell them that I am doing it because I can, and they can obey orders, or face forced and permanent retirement.

6. Input on proper categories for other nationalities to be detained in is permitted.

Chilling, isn't it?

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Yes, it is. But still, I'm grateful that E. de K. granted me with freedom of movement and speech. I'll use it with parsimony and try not to interfere with some ethnological believes.
I'll also keep my nights (which, btw, are more beautiful than some of other people's days) longer than 90 minutes.

If it looks a bit abstruse, it's done on purpose...

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Bunny Revere versus Evil de Kere.

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