Posting photos of A2K members: let's talk about guidelines.

Nods to nimh, thanks for getting me.

I hereby state it's okay for anyone to take my picture and post it, unless I specifically tell them otherwise. Beyond that, I won't suggest any particular guidelines.

makes sense, you libertarian, you...







(kidding, I guess I need to add).

You didn't need to.

I have learned the hard way that my intuitions about privacy can be very different from even those of very close online friends. Accordingly, I don't believe I am really competent to speak to, as you put it, "everybody's photos over time". I doubt anybody else is really competent either. That's why I just stated my own preferences and kept my mouth shut about general policy.

My word. Is this thread still running?

Well, the only thing that ever concerns me is when I see a photo of someone who appears ill. I will never forget seeing Cavfancier with very dark circles under his eyes, when we had the gallery. I didn't feel good about that.

Well, as I said before: Why all the hoopla when this could have been
done in private with a PM. It certainly leaves a sour note, and I can
understand that Walter has no inclination of posting other pictures,
other than landscape (I hope).

Like Walter, and as ehbeth stated, I wouldn't do it either.

Well, I intend to post whatever pictures I like of whoever I like. (Unless, of course, they tell me in advance not to.)

If anyone objects to a particular photo being posted, say so and I'll have it removed.

Likewise, if I see one of myself that I object to, I will ask the poster to have it removed.

It's very simple. No problem at all.

Everyone so enjoys seeing photos, I would really hate it if we stopped.

makes perfect sense to me, eva.

Well, I may be weird but I dont see how burning and sending CDs around the world is somehow less hassle, or less of a problem, than just dropping someone a PM before posting his/her photo...

"If you're going to post my picture online, ask me first" seems like pretty basic netiquette. It only takes a sec, and it might be important to someone.

How many gatherings/meetings did you attend where such happened?

We HAD talked about photographing, EVERYONE saw and KNEW that I would post pictures and I'm not going to send out some hundreds of PM's for 650 photos to x-people to ask them individually.

So, if someone wnats pictures from me, she/he will get them the way I want to it.

How would you compare it to its mirror image? "If I you see lots of cameras flashing during the meet-up, someone is probably taking pictures with the intention of posting some. Better speak up if you have a problem with that." My own answer would be this. If the vast majority of attendents don't mind having their pictures enough to prevent it, "opt out" causes less much less hazzle than "opt in". And from the meet-ups I have attended so far, that is indeed the case.

Eva, you put it all together in one paragraph. Basic courtesty always makes life much more livable.

Eva's post:



And Soz, with her wonderfully reasonable mind, suggested PMs. That keeps everything at a lower key with less risk of major disagreements.

There seems to be two groups that are at odds; those who refuse to ask permission or to take the time to make deletions and those who hate seeing pics of themselves. Really, there are only a few in each group. I think we all know each other and care for each other, so all we need is an understanding of what will happen when we meet in public. (Thomas, I promise {I think} not to become violent--Dys still won't tell me where he keeps his ammunition).

So far, it looks like Walter and ehBeth are two who very adamately refused to ask permission or to make deletions. Adding few more to that group would bring it up to maybe five or six.

Then there are those who want to barf when they see a bad pic of themselves. There are maybe five or six of us. No, let's say twenty. I have a feeling there are quite a few who just won't admit to their fragile egos.

When you break it down to numbers, it isn't really such an awful problem. As long as both groups know how the other feels, we can maintain what I certainly consider to be priceless friendships while not hurting the others' feelings.


Now I have to add a note to those who don't have a problem. I admire you. You have strong, healthy egos. Men, especially don't usually have a problem or else they won't admit it.

As for the women, PLEASE. Look at Dag. My god, she is gorgeous and when she isn't gorgeous, as when she sticks her tongue out, she is adorably cute. She is also in her twenties.
Littlek, gorgeous. J_B, gorgeous, CJ gorgeous. There are so many of you. Then there are those of us on the far side of sixty. There are far fewer "good" sides than when we were in our thirties or forties, not to mention twenties and thirties. A tllted face means a bulge of jowl. A big smile means chasms where there used to be dimples and a geometrical increase in chins. It just goes on and on. Damn, it's depressing. Get over ourselves??? Hell, we are over sixty, you young twits!! Get over yourselves!!!

Now let me tell you a couple of rules for older women, especially during lovemaking, just to give you an idea of what we have to deal with and what you have to look forward to. Read it and weep...

1. While having sex, if you are the one on top, DO NOT EVER LOOK DOWN AT YOUR LOVER. Your entire face will drop at least three inches closer to him than the rest of your body.

2. When you are finished, try to leave the room quickly, as soon as he rolls over and falls asleep--maybe 30 seconds. If, for some odd reason he doesn't fall asleep immediately and you absolutely have to go to the bathroom, back out of the room so he won't see how far your butt has dropped.

See what I mean? Fragile egos? HAH! REALITY. Cackle, cackle cackle.....

Walter, damn it, you are an adorable sweetie, so if you want to post depressing pics of me, go ahead. Maybe I'll post a few of me in my twenties to counteract the horrible shock.

Diane- We have met, in person, and I think that you are adorable.

One thing that I have learned as I have gotten older. As our bodies sag, our partner's eyesight worsens, so it all works out!

Actually, I didn't want to add any comment her anymore.

But .... However, I din't post the pic with rufle :wink:

I don't think that I (or eBeth) really have the stringent position not to ask for permsssion.

I, for my part, did it at the very first two meetings I attended .... and stopped doing so, because obviously everyone agreed that photos at meetings were taken.
(And those who didn't want to be pictured just told so.)

I'm still ashamed to haven't noticed that osso didn't like the way she was photographed. (And I have to admit that Mrs Walter agrees with my pics of her at a ratio of something 1 out of 500 or worse.)


It is very clear for me that I'm not going to photograph at any future meeting anymore.
And I'm not posting any photos with members on it (besides perhaps from a certain gender ) now anymore.
(Seriously, cutting out someone or posting only one, two out of a group would be a shame on any photo of any photographer, how good or bad the photos/the photograher might be.)

I'll just post males, buildings, landscapes .... and a certain festivity (thanks to Diane) now.

{{{{{ Walter }}}}}

I am not that young, Diane, and my body certainly has its imperfections,
like everyone elses too. This might be a cultural difference though, as in Europe most older woman are proud of their bodies, including stretch marks, wrinkles, and the whole nine yards. You even will find them walking around naked at public beaches and lakes. It is a natural occurrence to age, why hide it or be ashamed of showing it? Especially
when making love, by the way

Diane, you crack me up!

I think you're right. It's not the pictures we object to as much as the reality!!! Maybe we SHOULD post some younger pics of ourselves. That would be very interesting, I think. I am trying to be less vain as I age, but I'm not sure it's working. <LOL>

When we met each other in ABQ last summer, we all agreed - no photos. Same when I met Letty earlier this year. But the Chicago gathering was different. Many people expressed a desire to see pictures of the gathering, and we all talked about bringing our cameras beforehand. So everyone there expected to be photographed and knew the photos would be posted. I like what Thomas said...(waves to Thomas!)...if you see someone taking pictures and you don't want them posted, say so then. That way, the photographer can avoid you.

I wonder if some people didn't come expressly because they knew cameras would be there....? Hmm.

I knew people were taking photographs and that some of them would be posted. That was fine with me, I wanted to see them myself. Where I was uncourteous - from my own point of view - was in not telling anyone I wanted to get a look at them before they were posted (as has been sometimes done in the past), and then springing that as a bit of a surprise in my later trouble with a photo. It crossed my mind to ask for review, but I thought it would be an unwieldy request to so many photographers and didn't. Now I know some would not do that anyway, but I didn't then.

So, I later had a strong immediate reaction to one photo of me. Not all photos of me, just the one. I didn't know I'd have that reaction, which was a physical wave of dismay. The mods did delete the photo on the thread where I expressed unhappiness with it, and I left the same photo up on another thread that I didn't see until later.

I do think people should be able to have a photo of them deleted, and there was really no problem for me in having that happen. One problem, which I agree with, is that I should have handled it all by pm.

I still think it is a courtesy that isn't all that impossibly hard to have people review the photos to be posted of them, especially if it is only one or two people who express the interest to do so. But - even I don't think it should be some sort of rule. And I'd agree that when a meeting goes over several days and has lots of people photographing that the difficulty of doing that increases.

You're shamelessly exaggerating what would be involved, Walter. You're not going to post 650 photos anyway, I assume, and with all the people who've said they're OK with any pic or with none, the number of people you'd have to PM is more like a dozen, at the most. And its just a question of pasting an image URL that you have to copy/paste anyway into a PM as well. If you already invest so much time and effort into the photos like you say this is at most an extra 2%. <shrugs>

But yeah, you cant be forced of course.

Its true I havent ever been to an A2K meeting, and odds are decreasing. If I ever will attend an A2K meeting, I herewith politely request to only be photographed by those who dont think its some big deal if you ask them to take one or the other photo off-line afterwards.

I can think of a couple people this might apply to.