Virginity - Is the first cut the deepest?

Yep...and Yep...

Remember it, ...and it was rather quick....

I remember the first time because it was in the back of a 56 Chevy. Yup. Romantic. I don't remember it hurting but I don't remember enjoying it either. It was sort of just...fact.

It was his first time too so...you can imagine.

Sounds comfortable, Bella

i think mine was either on a king sized bed at my girlfriends while her parents were out of town or on the tiny little single bed in my attic bedroom.

Maybe I try not to remember. I've had much better performances since then... sometimes even worthy of an encore

The "IT" place was rather nice...old house, in front of a fireplace. A few years after that, it burnt down to my dismay. I always loved that house...soppose for that reason.

My first time was good; especially considering how bad it really could have gone. It was a good experience.

I wouldn't say the first cut is the deepest though. Not in my experience. Though I cherish the memory and all that surrounds it (I waited until I was in love), I wouldn't trade what I have now for that.
And it's not something I think about often at all.

This is still happening to me. My gf talks to me about her ex all the time. I sometimes wonder if she would ever want to get back with him, and that worries me everyday.

Hi Andrew....

when she talks about him, is it in a bad or good way?

Considering what you two have recently gone through, I don't think it would be a bad idea to talk to her.....she may not realize you are taking the talk so hard....us women like to talk (as I'm sure you know), and she might just be sharing with you, thinking that's a good thing....

I know you love her very much, so when the time is right, and you're both in a relaxed place with each other....let her know that you love her so much, and that you can't stand the thought of losing her. Then tell her that when she talks about her old boyfriend, you wonder if she's happy.

If she indicates that she isn't doing it because she wants to go back with him, that's she's just sharing her deepest thoughts and feelings with you.... say to her...."You know how guys are...the thought of you being with someone else drives me crazy".

There....you've stroked her ego and let her know it bothers you at the same time...

I wish Lord Ellpus was here...he'd tell you Exactly what to say.

He's sleeping in London right now, so check back tomorrow to see if he's put his two pence in.

The only thing she tells me about him is all the bad things he did to her. He was mean to her all the time, and when he got mad at her he would scream at her. She also told me that she would never get close to anyone again. He cheated on her on their 2 year anniversary. So, I'm just assuming she is just still getting over him. I love her more then anything in the world. I really dunno what I would do without her. Like, that night when she heard the song they had together we was laying on my bed watching Shania Twain in concert and she sung that song. She started crying and stuff. I will never forget this. She asked me this: "How come I feel like I'm not good enough for you?" I told her she is, and that I couldn't be happier the way my life is going. She tells me all time that she really loves and cares alot for me. So, I'm hoping with all the trying I'm doing that she will get over him. But then after that, she sung the song we have together, and she got really happy and was in a way better mood.

It takes a long time to recover from betrayal, Andrew.

I wish it was easier.

Eva is right, Andrew. I know that betrayal very well and the memories haunted me for quite some time.
I was physically abused as well, so I'm sure she'll recover much faster than I did.
I remember how unworthy I felt, even quite some time after the relationship ended, so as frustrating as it may be for you right now, I wouldn't worry about the ex, as it sounds like she is simply venting things that need to come out.
Abuse is a very tramatic thing and it takes time to get back to where you were before you were abused and talking about it helps.
I know that the abuse I took robbed me of my self esteem and it took time to get that back, but I still have trust issues that I'm still working on.

My best to you both.

Hi Andrew, I first noticed you on the other thread and was going to chime in and advise you on safety procedures regarding the trouser regions, but a large group of American women had already arrived by then and told you all you needed to know.
They're like that here....one mention of certain key words and they're there faster than one can say Condom. Most of them, I have found, have dished out some really good advice in the past, but being English, I usually have to go and get my translation book, to find out what the bloody hell they're saying half the time.
They have obviously taken a liking to you though, so you must be a nice guy, as they are a good judge of character.


Now......troubled females, and how to deal with them. I would ask at this stage, that the aforementioned women look the other way while they read this, as it may ruin my rugged-yet-handsome, manly image.


It is apparent that you are in your teens, and have fallen head over heels for a certain girl. She keeps mentioning a previous boyfriend (her first..) and this upsets you. Her previous relationship was not very nice, and now she has lost a bit of trust in men. OK, here's my take on it....

There is a hell of a lot of insecurity flying about here, on both sides. She needs you to regularly prove yourself to her, by bringing up her past.
You, on the other hand, are worrying that because she is doing this, she is in some way making comparisons between you and him.

First fact of life. Everyone remembers their "first time" serious boy/girlfriend. Even if you end up with someone else, if this girl is your "first", I guarantee that you will never forget her.
It is the same thing with her....she will probably never forget the previous boyfriend. Whether she will have good or bad memories is another matter, but he will always be tucked away in the memory cells somewhere.

You must accept this, as you are totally powerless to change the situation.

The one thing that you musn't do, is to let it get to you. YOU are now the love in her life, and you will only make things worse by letting your insecurity re. her "ex" eat at you.

The thing that you must do now, and probably for some time in the future, is to prove yourself to her, however she needs you to do that, as often as it takes to make her happy. You repeatedly say that you are in love with her, so it should all be worth this effort on your part.
Before too long, things should get better, and her insecurities should start to evaporate. She will come round to feeling safe and secure with you, and hopefully, will stop mentioning "him".

It's all part of life's great tapestry and loves courting rituals, I'm afraid.

Now....things to make an insecure/unhappy woman smile and be happy.

Cuddles....they like lots of those.
Reassurance.
Thoughtfulness......compliments, nice surprises,
Laughter....very important.



Of course, there are loads of other things that they like.....chocolates, flowers, lying in a luxurious bubblebath 'til they go wrinkly, being massaged with exotic oils, filling their cupboards with shoes, a man who can cook, being told that they have lost weight...and other more adult things that English boys are not allowed to learn until they are 25, so I won't print them here, just in case one happens to stumble in here and read them.

So......if you think she's the one, you have to be very patient, and make her smile a lot.

Don't worry about the "ex".....if you play your cards right, he's LONG gone!

Good luck.

I want to thank you very much. You see, We dated before, and I never lost any feelings for her. She told me the same thing. She never lost anything for me. I know she is the one for me. I knew that the first time we dated, but somehow we got drifted apart. Now that we are back together, I am happier then ever. She said that when they would be out and she would see me she would do nothing but stare at me. She said if she knew that I wasnt dating anyone then she would have broke up with him and asked me out. So, I am hoping now she is happier then ever.

people said that .. a woman's past is like an oil well so don't try to search in it using a candle or you will burn yourself..try to make your girl forget the past nd don't mention it to her alot. build your future together and forget the past..mm one thing also ..i think because she told you every thing abouther past then it's crystal clear that she trusts you ..so, don't betray her confidence in you...just an opinion

Everything you said there is so, so, very true! We are so happy together, and we have been with each other every single day now. Things couldn't be any better!!!

A lot of girls are very sensitive and need a lot of reassurance or confidence boosts to keep them feeling special. Its kind of a thing that as girls mature, they worry about more and more. I've worried about getting into relationships myself because I have been in a few bad ones in the past. Every time you get out of a bad relationship, you go into the next more conscious and aware of whats going on. Its natural for almost anyone. Thats why people tend to not be able to keep anything serious, they don't want to get hurt and its the only thing they feel they can do.

You're 14 and you've been in a few bad relationships in the past?

<frowns>

I must be getting old...