How to do a foreplay and why is it so important?

And someone needs to address the "why is it so important" part of the title too. I have to go eat dinner or I'd do it. . . I'll check in later and see if anyone has taken care of that, it's crucial!!

Foreplay is only important if you ever want to have sex again in this lifetime.

why is it so important?

Because men get horny then have sex.

Women have sex, then get horny.

we take longer to get to the begining phase that men have.


Its like watching a pot of water boil.

Patience, and a little salt darling..

You are only the 2nd woman I've ever met who has said this....

The other one added that she never put her mouth below a man's waist.

She told me this while also telling the story of how promiscuous she was in her youth.

I thought to myself "soooooo......what do you do?"

Er... I'm not sure I agree with this one....

well.. let me elaborate..


the first time you attempt to arouse someone, you usually get some things wrong, after a bit of practice, you know sort of what to do and how to do it, so you dont have to take TOO much time asking/ feeling your way around.

May not necessarily get SHORTER.. but your confidence gets bigger...


or something like that

I went to a foreplay once. I have to say, I liked it better than any fore-opera.

>groan<

Why is that so hard to believe? There weren't any fat ladies or high-pitched caterwauling....

Foreplay is for those can't do the real thing correctly.

Headmaster: I do wish you'd listen, Wymer, it's perfectly simple.
If you're not getting your hair cut, you don't have to move
your brother's clothes down to the lower peg, you simply
collect his note before lunch after you've done your scripture
prep when you've written your letter home before rest, move
your own clothes on to the lower peg, greet the visitors, and
report to Mr Viney that you've had your chit signed. Now,
sex... sex, sex, sex, where were we?

Well, had I got as far as the penis entering the vagina?

Pupils: Er... er... no sir. No we didn't, sir.

Headmaster: Well had I done foreplay?

Pupils: ...Yes sir.

Headmaster: Well, as we all know about foreplay no doubt you can
tell me what the purpose of foreplay is... Biggs.

Biggs: Don't know, sorry sir.

Headmaster: Carter.

Carter: Er... was it taking your clothes off, sir?

Headmaster: And after that?

Wymer: Putting them on the lower peg sir?

[Headmaster throws a board duster at him and hits him.]

Headmaster: The purpose of foreplay is to cause the vagina to
lubricate so that the penis can penetrate more easily.

Watson: Could we have a window open please sir?

Headmaster: Yes... Harris will you?... And, of course, to cause the
man's penis to erect and har...den. Now, did I do vaginal
juices last week oh do pay attention Wadsworth, I know it's
Friday afternoon oh watching the football are you boy - right
move over there. I'm warning you I may decide to set an
exam this term.

Pupils: Oh sir...

Headmaster: So just listen... now did I or did I not do vaginal
juices?

Pupils: Yes sir.

Headmaster: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.

Watson: Rubbing the clitoris, sir.

Headmaster: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her
off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight
for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.

Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir.

Headmaster: Good. Good. Good, well done, Wymer.

Duckworth: Stroking the thighs, sir.

Headmaster: Yes, I suppose so.

Another: Bite the neck.

Headmaster: Good. Nibbling the ear. Kneading the buttocks, and so
on and so forth. So we have all these possibilities before we
stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

Watson: Yes sir. Sorry sir.

Headmaster: All these form of stimulation can now take place.

[The Headmaster pulls the bed down.]

... And of course tongueing will give you the best idea of how
the juices are coming along. [Calls.] Helen... Now penetration
and coitus, that is to say intercourse up to and including
orgasm.

[Mrs Williams has entered.]

Ah hallo, dear.

[The pupils have shuffled more or less to their feet.]

*Do* stand up when my wife enters the room, Carter.

Carter: Oh sorry, sir. Sorry.

---------------------------------------------------

See? It's all quite simple really.

Holy moses Chai where did you come up with that one?

But ... wait ...

Pookie doesnt like cunnilunghoweveryouspellit?

<devastated>

Well, all right, since it's caused so much bother-- I shall elaborate.

I simply meant that if I'm not in the mood and someone--let's say nimh, just for example you know -- is attempting to get me there, I would prefer the nice kissing and touching I mentioned previously. So he should make sure to focus on kissing my neck, ears, etc. (toss in a bit of nibbling too), do some petting of my shoulders, tummy, breasts (I do love to be petted ), and spend some time on that. THEN, if all has been done properly, I'm ready for whatever...I just don't like cunni-thingummy until I'm already turned on, it doesn't GET me turned on, did I get that across clearly this time? I just hate it when someone (let's say Mr. cypher, just for example...not that he does this or anything ) just heads right down there when I'm not even turned on.

But once nimh has done all the rest of it for a while, then he can go right ahead with anything else he might have in mind...ooh, I think I need to go get a cold drink or something...<giggle>

OOooooooooooooooohhhhhhh .... I see. Yeah, that works.

<grins>

ahhh....no stampeding toward the clitoris...

Well that makes perfect sense.



if I'm not ready, it startles me.


AAAHHGGG!

oh, it's you.

damn, give me some warning next time, I almost dropped my blow torch.

Chai uses a blowtorch during foreplay?

oh, i was using the british term of torch, like a flashlight, I use it in the dark to find anacondas.

Although there's something to be said for being strategically kissed as a way of waking up...

Righty ho, as it seems that a thorough guide to foreplay hasn't been supplied yet, I shall now cite the relevant sections from my book, first published in 1947, entitled "Females and how to diddle them effectively".

This best seller was followed up a year later by "My top 20 bedstains and how to remove them".


Extracts from Chapter 1. (Females and how to diddle them effectively)

1. MAKE HER RELAX.

It is frightfully important to, first of all, put the female at her ease before foreplay is administered.

The easiest and most efficient way of achieving this, is by offering a large amount of cash in return for sexual favours.
If this fails, two or three glasses of reasonable quality claret and a great deal of flattery should do the trick. If THIS does not work, adopt a French accent.
Once the female is in a relaxed state, pick her bodily off the floor, throw her over one's shoulder and take a direct route for the bedroom, making sure that Tarzan like noises are emitted at frequent intervals en route.
This will appeal to the basic fantasy psyche of the female, which will heighten her desire and encourage the abandonment of inhibitions.

2. MAKE HER COMFORTABLE.

For a fully relaxed female to achieve full arousal during the forthcoming foreplay, it is essential that she is positioned so that she is comfortable. If attempting foreplay in a middle or lower class bed, please refer to chapter 3.
In the usual four poster, the relaxed female should be positioned towards the middle of the mattress, so that full writhing may occur without physical injury.
Ask if she is comfortable, enquire as to whether lighting should be on, dimmed or off, and when all conditions are acceptable, commence with the arousing.


3. THE AROUSING.

The male (arouser) should then consider the removal of clothing. It should be noted that male clothing should be removed first, and done in such a beguiling manner as to cause further desire to well up within the arousee (female).
Light hopping motions, combined with subtle hip thrusts have proven to be the most alluring. If one can combine this with a soft humming of the tune "Moonlight becomes you", all the better.
IMPORTANT NOTE : Vests and socks should only be removed when the bedroom temperature exceeds 20c/68f, otherwise one runs the risk of catching a chill.

Once the male garments have been removed, the arouser should begin formal foreplay by positioning himself so that the mouth can come into full and erotic contact with the left ear of the arousee.
NOTE: Ears are very important arousal locations, as double stimuli may be administered simultaeneously, by means of a thorough and wet nibbling of the lobes (physical) whilst at the same time, animalistic gruntings are admitted at close quarters, directly into the ear itself (aural).

Check pulse of female at this stage, using a good fobwatch and stethescope. A range of 100-110 beats per minute is acceptable.

After putting away the stethescope, the arouser should then spend one minute fifteen seconds, working his mouth and lips over various parts of the head of the arousee, before spending a further thirty four seconds on the neck. It should be noted that a gentleman will supply a small towel at this stage, so that the arousee may dry these areas whilst you work your way onto the next stage.

The arouser should then postion his torso directly over that of the arousee, so that his upper abdomen comes into delicate yet assertive contact with her volvo. For clarification, the volvo is the area just above the point at which her legs meet at the top, and at the front.
This positioning, after her clothing has been removed in a gentlemanly fashion, places the head of the arouser directly in line with the arousee's mammarial appendages.

4. WINDSCREEN WIPERS.

When all seven layers of female clothing have been removed, and a further pulse check has been made, the windscreen wiper manouvre may be commenced.
This involves the arouser's head, which should be moved in a side to side arc (like a windscreen wiper), in such a sweep that both of the arousee's nipplage areas are fully covered. Then, at the end of each arc, a delicate suction like kiss is made on each nipple, until light panting can be heard. If after ten such arcs, no panting is evident, deploy a gentle bouncing motion onto the volvo.


5. THE CLEMATIS.

I have already covered the female and her clematis arousal here.........

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=58093&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=totally+factual&start=70

....which should cover the necessary subject of foreplay. If administered correctly, this method of foreplay should bring forth at least a 30% chance of full and enjoyable rumpy.


WARNING.
The use of thumbs, torches or those little curled up paper things that have feathers in the end and hoot when blown, should never be brought into play without full permission of the arousee.

What's wrong with using your thumb?

The good thing about a thumb is that it is close to, yet at a little distance from your fingers and what is more, can be moved, to some extent, independently...