Heph, hey girl.
Long time, no type. For me anyway.
I've experienced alot thru the years myself. When I was into the things I shouldn't have been playing around with, bad things happened. Nothing I'm getting into here however.
Then, there were times when the cool things would happen. I remember being deep in thought sometimes and a voice would tell me what I needed to know. One time it happened and the person I was talking to heard it and just thought I spoke, but I told them I was thinking of it, but this voice said it for me. They told me it was mind projection. I use to do astrology and make people's birth charts for them and found out my mercury was in scorpio retrograde, which could have been the reason....but then there's the deeper things but I won't get into them here.
Anywhen, I don't do the things I use to. Dark spirituality is not my thing. My life has changed, but is still rough sometimes. I just pick myself up and start again.
I know you are having a hard time right now, but maybe someday you will find who you are and where you belong and feel better. :wink:
Until then, remain strong.