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How to get over his cheating past?!?!?!?!?

 
 
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:16 am
Ok let me start off by saying that my boyfriend has a past. A very large past of women. And a past of cheating. Some stories which I still can't over.

I recently recieved an email from his ex, telling me more about him that I did not know, about how he cheated with her and how he met the girls (mostly offline and in bars)

Now I know that past is the past and I should be able to accept him for it and hope that he has changed. But I can't trust him. Not one bit.

So last night we are driving and his phone starts ringing. It was a text message from a girl from online that said "come back online, I miss you".
So I started thinking, ok. This girl live 15 minutes away(I got it all out of him) and he talks to her online. Why does she have his cell phone number, if she is from online. Because that is what he told me. She was just a girl he talks to online with a kid and a boyfriend.

So here I am wondering why she misses him, specially if she doesn't know him.

So yup, he lied to me. She was a girl that he knows, she wasn't from online. He talks to her.

I wouldn't care if he is honest, but why would he lie to me?

I mean his past is bad, real bad. It makes me sick

I honestly don't know if I can get over it and ever love him. I care about him, but I can't trust him, and without trust, there is no love.

I know I may be overreacting, but I, as most, have been screwed over one too many times.

What would you think?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 3,045 • Replies: 60
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:19 am
Run CL run, find a new guy who loves and respects you - this guy is a dud and will always be a dud.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:23 am
Green Witch wrote:
Run CL run, find a new guy who loves and respects you - this guy is a dud and will always be a dud.


But the thing is he treats me great, I mean amazing, better than anyone ever has. Everyone gets along with him, even my family. They keep telling me not to screw this up, granted they don't know his past.

He was almost in tears last night when I told him I didn't trust him. He kept telling me he has changed and will never cheat on me. That he hates his past. But those are just words. I don't want to be with him, move in and what not. Then walk in one day to find him in bed with another woman.

But he treats me better than anyone ever has. And he loves me. or so he says. I have never said it back to him though.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:24 am
See I have thought of leaving, and I can see where you are coming from Green Witch, but my only thing is what if he has changed? ANd I loose something great
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:26 am
What if he has changed?

if he changed, he wouldnt be getting text messages
he wouldnt be lying
he wouldnt be a cheater



above all else, think of the std's..
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:29 am
Ok, the question is... how do I leave him without getting people upset with me. I know I will hear it from everyone and they won't understand. They will say I am overreacting.

The thing that sucks, is I do care about him. But I honestly will never trust him. And I don't want to be someone that was warned and ignored the warning signs.
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material girl
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:29 am
He sounds like HE has problems that HE needs to see to.

Why do you assume you will be the one that he doesnt cheat on.He has done it to every other girl.He has lied to you.Sounds like a loser to me and I think you deserve better.

Dont believe his crocodile tears, if he is genuine he will go get help.

So what if he treats you great in other ways, its the sh*tty things a guy does that yuo need to pay attention to.Nice stuff should come as standard.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:32 am
OK, here comes a post that sounds rude, but understand it isnt..


Worrying about what people think, when it comes to who you are with is silly in this case.
They are not going to be there when you are being treated for an std.
They are not going to be there when you are heartbroken because he slept with several other people and lied.
They are not going to be there if HE HAS changed, and your relationship is good
They are not going to be there when you find love notes, and other messages from other women.

YOu will be there.
The whole time

so why the loyalty to anyone other then you?
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:32 am
Take it from this old crone CL, guys like this don't change. They just get better at covering their tracks and convincing you they have changed. I have known a lot of men like this and many of them are now in there 40's and 50's, none of them remained faithful, even after they were married and had children. They are charming, everyone loves them and the women in their lives all think he will never do it again. That is until they discover he has a girlfriend in every city he has ever stepped foot in.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:33 am
material girl wrote:
Why do you assume you will be the one that he doesnt cheat on.He has done it to every other girl.

He has had a total of 5 girlfriends (including me) 2 he cheated on. SO I am more or less the make it or break it one.


Quote:
He has lied to you.

His excuse, I hate my past. I don't like to talk about it, and she was a "pyscho" from his past (which it seems he has a lot of)


Quote:
Dont believe his crocodile tears, if he is genuine he will go get help.


How do you go get help for it?
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:33 am
HA!
I know a few men like that now GW.

sad too.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:34 am
shewolfnm wrote:
OK, here comes a post that sounds rude, but understand it isnt..


Worrying about what people think, when it comes to who you are with is silly in this case.
They are not going to be there when you are being treated for an std.
They are not going to be there when you are heartbroken because he slept with several other people and lied.
They are not going to be there if HE HAS changed, and your relationship is good
They are not going to be there when you find love notes, and other messages from other women.

YOu will be there.
The whole time

so why the loyalty to anyone other then you?


That didn't come off as rude, just honest. I like the way you look at it.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:36 am
Green Witch wrote:
Take it from this old crone CL, guys like this don't change. They just get better at covering their tracks and convincing you they have changed. I have known a lot of men like this and many of them are now in there 40's and 50's, none of them remained faithful, even after they were married and had children. They are charming, everyone loves them and the women in their lives all think he will never do it again. That is until they discover he has a girlfriend in every city he has ever stepped foot in.


That is what I don't want, at all. That is what I am worried about. He may not cheat early in the relationship. But I have known him for what, a month and a half. He already told me he loves me. Now if he can fall in love with me this fast, what happens when he meets a girl while he is out and he starts talking to her. Is he going to fall in love with her in a month? Is he going to cheat on me?

Those aer the thoughts constantly going through my head
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:38 am
CL I think you should use that pretty little face of yours to attract a really nice good who will worship you. Life is too short to waste it on cheaters and liars.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:42 am
Thanks guys, I think 3 votes for the same thing tells me alot. So unless anyone thinks I should stay, I have no other reason than not to trust my original instinct.

I'll keep you all updated
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:43 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
So unless anyone thinks I should stay,


refer back to my post Dahhhhhhhlink...................................
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:44 am
shewolfnm wrote:
Crazielady420 wrote:
So unless anyone thinks I should stay,


refer back to my post Dahhhhhhhlink...................................


Embarrassed oh yea...
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 08:57 am
Crazielady420 wrote:
Ok, the question is... how do I leave him without getting people upset with me. I know I will hear it from everyone and they won't understand. They will say I am overreacting.


Telll them if they love him so much THEY should deal with his ****.
0 Replies
 
material girl
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 09:36 am
I couldnt stay with someone I dont trust.

He is probably just playing you.
He is seeing what he can get away with,how well you believe his tales, seeing if you will forgive and comfort him.Then he will try cheating on you.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Mar, 2006 09:57 am
Why do I always find these ones? Seriously? I am a magnet for them
0 Replies
 
 

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