What about B.O.B?

What link??? Where???? Do share! :-D

In 2004, after having studied the female psyche in relation to their need for regular organisms, I developed a range of organistic assistance devices to suit most, if not all, needs and wants.

A marketing firm was employed, who decided to use my family name, owing to the fact that a survey carried out on 2500 women confirmed that the name Ellpus immediately brought a flush to the cheeks, combined with a certain compulsion to smile.
It was not clear whether the smile was an indication of deep satisfaction or of sympathetic hilarity, but it was decided that the name definitely had instant market recognition.

With the assistance of my old science teacher, a mechanical engineer and four of my most attractive kitchen maids, a range was developed and tested (extensively), resulting in the following best selling items:

1. Cord Ellpus......this model has three speeds that can be changed by pulling a handy length of string.

2. Ford Ellpus.......this is difficult to start on frosty mornings, runs on gasoline and can go from 0 - 60 in four seconds. It tends to rust somewhat, and rolls round corners.

3. Gourde Ellpus......shaped like a butternut squash, it is designed with the more accommodating lady in mind.

4. Horde Ellpus......runs on two little AA batteries, but sounds like a Mongolian army on the march.

5. Maude Ellpus......named after my aunt, it works best in the back seat of a Bentley, and plays Chopin in order to mask the noise of the motor so that the Chauffer won't know what you're up to.

6. Norde Ellpus.....has a soft latex Viking shaped helmet, and is programmed to play Nordic battle tunes at the appropriate moment.

7. Pawed Ellpus.....Shaped like a lucky rabbits paw, and covered in fur for your comfort.

8. Roared Ellpus.....the lion king of organitic assisters. Has three speeds...purr, growl or roar!

9. Sword Ellpus.....Thrust and parry. "On Guard" announcement when first switched on.

10. Thawed Ellpus.....for those hot summer days, thawed Ellpus is best kept in the fridge.

11. ....and finally, the Lord Ellpus. Ten inches of love truncheon that lasts a miraculous 1 minute 20 seconds, it then switches off into sleep mode for 24 hours, when it can be reactivated for your pleasure.

All these fine products can be found on my website ...organisms"r"us.com.


I take most major credit cards, but prefer cash.

A younger girl (25) I worked with last year knew all about the new sex toys and she said that they make very nice BOB's these days and that they have ones that look and feel like the real thing.
She wanted to take me to a local sex shop to check them out, but I don't think I'll ever be caught dead going in one of those places, heehee.

<Montana runs off to purchase one Lord Ellpus>

Me either! I didn't realize until tonight that you could order these things online! BONUS! LOL

Here's the link:

http://www.sexed.com/0610-20-3.htm

Jealous? No. But I do have a few words of caution against over use. You may find yourself becoming desensitized and enjoying the real thing less if you go too nuts. If you're one of the really tough to please girls; be sure and search for various positions that work, so as not to become too one-dimensional in your ability to be pleased (especially if it's a difficult to achieve angle for us mere mortals.) Like all forms of masturbation; give yourself a break when approaching opportunities for actual human contact (hint, hint :wink:).

Regular release= good. Too much, can be a bad thing indeed.

On a funnier note; I recall Richard Prior describing a gas-powered pull start model that sounds like rrRROARrrrRARRrrrRRROARRrrr... 'and you're standing there with just a d!ck.'

Enjoy!

I have to say this is like no other website I have ever visited! Where else can one discuss the relative merits of electric vs two-stroke protruberances in an adult manner...

As an aside, I feel that a man shouldn't be threatened by the presence of an animate object in the bedroom, unless of course said beast is produced with intent upon his person...

Regards

Welcome aboard, Diggs.

Methinks you have the makings of a fully fledged A2K addict.

What size batteries does he have?

I'll happily talk b*llocks with anybody when I should be working instead....

At the moment I am on PP3, but judging be some of the conversation here I may have to switch to something a little larger!

What's PP3?????

PP3 are 9-volt batteries.

Welcome to A2K, Diggs.

Cheers mate! Good to talk to other like-minded souls who really should have better things to do with their time also!!!

Er, I'm a matess.

Work? What's that?

I do beg your pardon, Madam... The differences are usually clear to me, I assure you! The bumps give it away... Just not on the strength of a picture of a pooch!

Jes, I just looked at your profile to check you weren't really a reclining dog.... 'Work?' you say! I'd say you have done your bit already....

why did it take so many pages to ask???

just come out and say " HEY I GOT A VIBRATOR QUESTION"

and see if it answers..

You should see what they make for men.

Good point Bill. Direct contact with the clitoris can cause temporary desensitization (is that a word?). It isn't permanent but should you have sex between sessions, you might need twice the stimulation as normal to climax.