Life: Looking Back, Looking Forward

Thanks sweety. You guys and this place saw me through a really bad span of years. I owe you so much---

Love you.

Just my way of saying I'm paying attention.





You're home!

Are you tired?

I was surprisingly not tired---met some layover people and a family from London stuck and sacked out in the ATL Hartsfield airport, where I had to wait for a day on my daughter...LOL

We slept together and had nice talks between snoozing...

I'm just sad.

It's not going to work, I don't think.

Hard to move away from your life and into someone else's based on a few meetings.... <grins>

But, I'd do it all again....

Thanks, joeblow.

Can we look back and forward at the same time? What is that called?

Janus;

Think I need to look back as I look forward....

Anyway, the relationship keeps slogging forward, but I hear the death knell. Balk.

What he says doesn't quite jive with what he does.... Other men seem more interested in me than he does... I sorta require more than he seems to feel....

It's weird when you've already closed off a bit emotionally, but the man is still there... ech. There's no hurry to put it out of it's misery, so I guess I'll hang on for a while and see if anything changes. He says he's moving here in Spring.... <bitter laugh>

Help me out here... Does everybody have these vacillations? Yeah, this is ok----no, this isn't ok...? I never hang around long enough to get through them. HATE feeling shaky about a man. Ew.

I'm only interested in her when we've both had a few drinks. Other than that, she's kind of a stick in the mud, so why bother.

I haven't ruled out hooking up with her on some drunken night, but that hasn't happened.

In other news, I have recently been seeing someone else, who I met online. We have both agreed that we are so totally incompatible personality-wise that it would never work, but that never stopped anyone from getting in a little boinking for the fun of it. I give this one about another month or so. Maybe less, as her domineering personality is starting to really get on my nerves.

Maybe if your personality was stronger? LOL


Kidding.


Meanwhile, I am a mouse. A button -sewing, no opinion-having, mealy mouth, ego-expander kit.

<creating a monster>

<can't seem to stop>

<I mean what I say, though>

<still, his ego is sucking up all my air>

kicky, It's hard to believe any woman can be domineering over you!

C.I., I'm very laid back, actually, and I give people a lot of leeway. Especially when I'm trying to f*ck them.

Lash, this chick I'm seeing is also kind of an egomaniac. She never misses an opportunity to pat herself on the back.

Lash, aunt osso says Stop That. Go back to being yourself, see what happens. It would be inevitable, so go for it, Ms. Mealy.

Someone more right is waiting for you, Kicky. Keep your eye out.

Kicky---could it be that she's just sharing good news in her life and you aren't happy for her? Are you comfortable telling her your good news?

kickycan wrote:
C.I., I'm very laid back, actually, and I give people a lot of leeway. Especially when I'm trying to f*ck them.

I knew you were a man of "experience," and position was never the issue.

That was funny, CI....LOL

No, it's not about news. It's about how her way is the best way. I can't stop thinking about what a wild animal she was in bed though. Holy crap, I keep getting these little flashbacks every so often...wow.

So...just a hypothetical question...no real reason I'm asking...how long after having sex without a condom with someone you hardly know do you have to wait to have yourself tested for AIDS?

24 hours?

More - it can take to weeks until antibodies are raised.

(You find antibodies with the HIV-tests [there's no AIDS-test].)

Damn, kicky, go now.

Update--- We just got through my third pre-emptive break up.

Lash<----discovers she has issues with insecurity (or rejection?)
that
dwarf
the
world

We are always better and happier after each break but, why in hell do I do this? He just yawns now and waits for me to come to my senses...

and, how long does one hold on to a long distance relationship.... I can't imagine very long.... He's supposed to come in December to meet the fam. (The thought is macabre. Culture clash heretofore unimagined....) My mother alone will be enough to send him running... Ha!

Our conversations are getting more in depth... a good thing. Feel closer to him...another good thing.

He called me at midnight last night to wish me a happy birthday. I'm 46. Feels nice.