Clingy in 2 weeks... is that healthy?

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Ok... this guy I have known for 2 weeks... is extremely clingy... which is good and bad... it is nice to know that he has taken interest in me, but that is all he talks about... plus I have seen him everyday

He is a great guy and I understand he doesn't want to "screw this up"... but it's been two weeks!

Is this a bad sign or does it mean that maybe he actually does like me alot and means all the things he says?

Any red flags to watch out for? Before I decide whether or not I want to give this guy a full chance with me?

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I'd consider clingy in 2 weeks to be a huge red flag. Didn't he have a life before he met you?

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Maybe define "clingy"?

One person's "clingy" is another person's "refreshingly honest about what he wants"; one person's "I need space" is another person's "commitmentphobe". (I don't think you are, btw.)

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Mac made a good point:

Quote:

Didn't he have a life before he met you?

I'll add:

Does he want to be your entire life?

Devoted is flattering, but remember early, ardent devotion is the way a lot of abusive relationships take off.

Can you define exactly why you're uneasy?

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It's bad, because if you know someone for only 2 weeks, you don't really know them all that well. And to start proclaiming your love, and how great everything it is...well, that can change fast after knowing someone after a while.

Maybe you can slow the process down. Stop talking every single day, don't return all his calls. If he starts getting worse, than you know he'd make a jealous boyfriend.

CL, by the way, what the hell? Don't you remember that thread there, where you said something like "you're funny," or maybe it was "you suck," but whatever. It was directed at me, and I really felt something. And it wasn't the frozen hot dog I felt. Anyway, I love you. Well, maybe it's just my blow up sheep I really love, but I still love you. Can I call you 9 times today??? When I'm done with my 900 sex line calls?

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I'd be concerned. Go with your gut. I like the suggestion of putting some space between the two of you for a while, and seeing what he does.

He might just be clueless in dating, which would be the best possible reason for this out of the lot. But it could mean other crappy things.

It sucks any way you look at it: If he doesn't mean what he says, he's playing ya. If he means all the things he says, he's not exactly on solid ground.

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Do you look forward to seeing him everyday? If yes, then he's not too clingy, in no, then he is.

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mac11 wrote:

I'd consider clingy in 2 weeks to be a huge red flag. Didn't he have a life before he met you?

That's the thing... he did.. but now that he has met me, he says nothing else matters but me.... it makes no sense... his friends called him last night and he said he wouldn't go out unless he was with me (then his friend got him to put me on the phone and I said sure)... but when I hung up... I asked him why didn't you go out... his response... I'd rather be with you... but then he got all happy because I wanted to go out and was thanking me... acting like he couldn't go out..

It creeped me out a little

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sozobe wrote:

Maybe define "clingy"

One person's "clingy" is another person's "refreshingly honest about what he wants"; one person's "I need space" is another person's "commitmentphobe". (I don't think you are, btw.)

No, he is being honest... but he says the same thing over and over everyday... I do have some fear of commitment, but not that bad...

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Noddy24 wrote:

Mac made a good point:

Quote:
Didn't he have a life before he met you?

I'll add:

Does he want to be your entire life?

That is how he acts.. I am suddenly the only thing that makes him happy... and he tells me how he would never hurt me... ever... but he seems demanding if anything.... possibly could become possesive.... that is what makes me uneasy

Quote:

Devoted is flattering, but remember early, ardent devotion is the way a lot of abusive relationships take off.

Can you define exactly why you're uneasy?

Do they usually say how they would never hurt you too??

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Definitely sounds like taking a step back would be good, if for no other reason than that you're uncomfortable with it. How he reacts will be instructive.

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

It's bad, because if you know someone for only 2 weeks, you don't really know them all that well. And to start proclaiming your love, and how great everything it is...well, that can change fast after knowing someone after a while.

No, love has not been proclaimed... I am waiting for that one though, he has asked me to be his gf 4 times already in the last 2 weeks and each time I have said no

Quote:

Maybe you can slow the process down. Stop talking every single day, don't return all his calls. If he starts getting worse, than you know he'd make a jealous boyfriend.

He calls, he texts, he emails... he will show up at my house if I don't answer, guarentee it... because he was "worried"

I am going to a lesbian club in SOmerville 2nite... no way he will be coming with me!

Quote:

CL, by the way, what the hell? Don't you remember that thread there, where you said something like "you're funny," or maybe it was "you suck," but whatever. It was directed at me, and I really felt something. And it wasn't the frozen hot dog I felt. Anyway, I love you. Well, maybe it's just my blow up sheep I really love, but I still love you. Can I call you 9 times today??? When I'm done with my 900 sex line calls?

Oh baby, Oh baby... you can call me anytime... all the time... a sexy beast like you... I promise I am better than the blow up sheep too!

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J_B wrote:

Do you look forward to seeing him everyday? If yes, then he's not too clingy, in no, then he is.

No, I like my space.... a phone call once a day, I can deal with... but a seeing someone in person all the time, drives me insane... it's great that he cares about me, but he is starting to scare me away and I have told him to stop rushing the process... even told him I am still dating others... he told me last night

"I will wait, even if you meet someone else, I will wait until you are done with them"

After 2 weeks!!! AHHHH.. maybe I am overreacting to the situation... but I am a little concerned

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sozobe wrote:

Definitely sounds like taking a step back would be good, if for no other reason than that you're uncomfortable with it. How he reacts will be instructive.

That;s the thing, I am worried on his reaction... if I don't answer his calls or emails.. he will think something has happened and come to my house... If I give him the run around, I am afraid I will hurt him...

I don't want to hurt him, I just barely know him and I am being cautious

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If you're that worried about his reaction, that's not good right there.

Go ahead and say all of this -- you're interested, but things are moving too fast for you -- and see what his reaction is. Include specifics -- that if you don't answer a call or email that he shouldn't worry about you, and that you'll get annoyed if he keeps checking up on you.

If there are problems after all of that, huge red flags.

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sozobe wrote:

If you're that worried about his reaction, that's not good right there.

Go ahead and say all of this -- you're interested, but things are moving too fast for you -- and see what his reaction is. Include specifics -- that if you don't answer a call or email that he shouldn't worry about you, and that you'll get annoyed if he keeps checking up on you.

If there are problems after all of that, huge red flags.

Ok, just as long as I am not overreacting... but he already tells me how he worries about me... I want a friend.. not a father... ya know!

I want to see what he is like tonight when he is not with me, if my phone keeps going off and all.....

Last night he left my house and called me 5 minutes later to tell me he missed me and wanted to hear my voice.. I know he is trying to be cute and sweet... but it's just plain creepy right now

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I can't believe you're not just completely turned off and have stopped seeing him. When a girl does this to me, I'm done. It's not even flattering, it just shows how emotionally unstable she is.

In other words...this dude's got problems.

The former me has been way too clingy on girls in the past, but this is out of hand.

By the way, what's the name of the lesbian club?? Is it a straight lesbo club, or do a lot of bi-chicks go there? I'm in a dillema. I have a hot girl that will do a threesome with me, but I need to find another girl. I'm guessing since it's a lesbian club, it's filled with butch, straight-out lesbians.

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

I can't believe you're not just completely turned off and have stopped seeing him. When a girl does this to me, I'm done. It's not even flattering, it just shows how emotionally unstable she is.

In other words...this dude's got problems.

The former me has been way too clingy on girls in the past, but this is out of hand.

Honestly, no clue why I haven't ran yet...

Quote:

By the way, what's the name of the lesbian club?? Is it a straight lesbo club, or do a lot of bi-chicks go there? I'm in a dillema. I have a hot girl that will do a threesome with me, but I need to find another girl. I'm guessing since it's a lesbian club, it's filled with butch, straight-out lesbians.

It's called toast... my best friend is a lesbian (not butch).. and she told me all the girls here a gorgeous... bodies, faces... they all look straight and girly.... SHe said even I will fit in there...

It will be an interesting night tonight... whatever happens in that club, stays in that club lmao

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Uhhhh....I don't know about all them being gorgeous.

I have a theory that gorgeous, feminine lesbians are very rare. Most of the gorgeous "lesbians" are bisexual.

I'll guarantee you plenty of softball players are there(please tell me you get it).

Sh!t, maybe I should take this girl. She'd get hit on 1000 times.

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Slappy, have you asked this chick if she has anyone in mind yet?
If she's serious, she's probably already got a few chicks lined up in her head.
I hope to god you aren't dealing with a straight-girl-curious-who's-never-been-with-a-woman-without-a-guy-around or she's not just yanking your chain.
'Cause, you know, I love that pure delight and twinkle in a guy's eye when he actually is faced with two women coming at him (in front of him, forgetting about him, as the case may be) Laughing

And, hey, lesbians tend to have a different standard of gorgeous than men. It only makes sense. But bisexuals, well....ya never know what ya gonna get.

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Clingy in 2 weeks... is that healthy?

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