Help me with my big and little birthday party questions!

Forums: Parenting And Childcare, Parenting, Birthday Party
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Mo will be turning 5 in just a couple of weeks and I have decided to have a little birthday party for him.

I have a few questions - some big pressing questions and some little questions. Any advice is appreciated.

First, to say that Mo has a blended family is both an understatement and inaccurate. Mr. B and I have been Mo's guardians for the last three years. We are on good terms with both sides of his bio-family (except for his dad who we have not seen or heard from in about a year and a half, and his grandmother on his mother's side who has no role in anything).

In addition to Mo's little neighborhood friends I want to invite his grandparent's on his father's side, his great grandparents on his mother's
side, his Aunt and Uncle (mother's side), his mom and his little half-sisters .

These are all people that he likes, people who should be able to celebrate his birthday with him. I have told all of them that the others are invited and to make their decisions to attend accordingly.

Am I crazy?

Next, because Mo's birthday is fast on the heels of Christmas and because Mo has plenty of "stuff" I was thinking of having a "Garden Party" and suggesting people bring seeds or stuff for our garden. I thought it might be fun to plant sections of the garden to honor all of the people in Mo's life.

I'm thinking that by making such a suggestion on the invitation that it would let people off the hook for feeling obligated to buy some expensive toy or gadget. A lot of the people who will be coming have limited funds but I think a packet of seeds would be within their budget so everybody wins.

Right?

Or not right?

How do you make such a suggestion on the invitation?

Last, do I need to have a lot of activities for the kids? It will probably just be Curly and Larry (our old neighbors - 6 and 4; Shep, (our current neighbor, 3); his little baby brother (5 months); Mo's "girlfriend" (13), neighbor boy (12); and Mo's half sisters (2). Other than that it will be adults.

Weatherwise we'll most likely be stuck inside. I was really just thinking about 1.5 hours for the party, serving cake and ice cream and calling it a day.

Am I crazy or is that enough?

Are there other things to consider that I haven't thought of?

Thanks for your help!

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i think that is a great idea.
And a way around the 'card' issue, buy childrens birthday invites and send them out.
Put in the card " Seed party". Bring your own package of seeds as a birthday gift, and we will have a party planting them.

Spell it out like that. I wouldnt hesitate on that one bit.
Maybe, put a small hand written note inside the invite saying something along the lines of
-christmas just passed and mo got many things, but he really wants a garden. Seeds are the perfect gift and in line with the theme HE wants.. - ?

Activities for kids.. do you have a section of back yard that you dont mind sacrificing to some digging for the kids? That could be the activity.
Some plastic shovels, little buckets, and seeds. ( Grass seeds ifyou want that section of the yard to grow back at some point. Laughing

)

oh wait.....

its cold up there now isnt it?

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ohh.. i had an idea ( through much MUCH sudafed..)

child activities-
styrofoam cups, soil, seeds. Let them plant thier
own flower and take home with them... Messy.. yes
but an activity that will keep them happy for a while..?

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Every time I've said "presents not expected" on birthday invitations we've gotten them anyway. I think asking for seeds instead of presents might complete that thought. Most people want to bring something, and specifying what you would like them to bring (and why) could make that easy for them.

Good luck! It sounds like an exciting challenge but will be worth it if you pull it off.

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It isn't that cold but it is very wet. And it is probably to early to do any actual planting.

I like your wording of that VERY much, great idea!

I could probably dedicate a portion of our garage over to planting or crafts of some sort. That would be pretty easy.

Thanks!

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Oooh, that's some challenging parameters.

First, as a near-Christmas birthday gal, I do suggest that you do whatever for his birthday, present-wise, that you would if it were in July. I always hated the combination presents et al, any indication of "since you just had Christmas you're birthday won't be too big of a deal".

As for the attendees, I'm tempted to suggest two separate parties -- one kid party, with some activities, and then one grownup + kid party. But the kids are such a range of ages, themselves, that I'm not sure it would accomplish much.

(Thinking...)

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(I was interrupted 10 zillion times while writing that, didn't see the other posts [no response yet when I started typing].)

Some sort of planting or crafts sounds great.

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Thats kind of what I was thinking FreeDuck. Saying "no gifts" usually ends up just causing embarrassement to those that don't bring them.

We have several gifts for him for his actual birthday so it isn't a combination thing at all. (One of those little trampolines, some books, DVD's that kind of stuff.)

Once he starts school I imagine that more traditional type birthday parties will be in order but since he doesn't have a lot of friends his age I think we can get away with a family thing this time.

Usually he has a little party here, a little party there, here a party there a party everywhere a party party.

It gets a little ridiculous.

I'm spoiled in expecting people to behave because Mr. B's family always makes such a effort to get along despite all the heart-ache in its wake.

Unless Mo's dad were to make some grand appearance everyone should get along fine. I'm not going to have a party and not invite his (dad's) parents though because Mo really likes them better than anyone else.

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2 diffrent parties sounds like a great idea as well.
espically if his birthday falls on a weekend. ??
saturday - extended family
sunday - friends.

I would not do friends first, as Mo would brag about having friends over and that may offend already offencive extended family.. no need to stir that pot anymore.

A birthday WEEKEND is much better then a birthday DAY..

but that is if you have the energy to handle 2 crowds.

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I'm thinking that the non-family will provide enough chaos and distraction from the family, though. I think there would less likely be any kind of scene with other friends and neighbors around.

Easier for people to duck out, too.

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let me specify...
extended family -mo's other half

friends - Mrb's family, yours , and Mos kiddie friends.

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I'm with Shewolf on the planting party. You can get enough clay pots for the kids from Michaels for under $10.00 if you want to use those instead of cups.

You can let them decorate the pot first with markers or paint pens made for clay pots (paint with brushes would probably be too messy and take too long to dry.) Then, let them put in some soil and choose a bulb, bean or flower to plant.

Kids like to watch things grow, but will lose interest if it isn't fast enough. No green thumb here so I have no suggestions, but maybe if you could find something that would grow fast.

Another idea... Chia pets. They grow fast, but not sure what they go for at the store.

I think the "bring a seed" idea is great. If they want to do more, maybe they could do a cute planter or kids hand tools or something along the same theme.

Probably the most important thing for the guests is to realize it's Mo's day. If everyone you have invited understands that, you should be okay.

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Pinto beans grow very fast and withstand any punishment a kid can deal out.

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Neither Mr. B or I have family here. I'm trying to convince my mom to come. She was supposed to visit this month but my ratty brother scheduled his big promotion thing so she's off to DC instead.

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Great idea, squinney! I'll hit Michaels on Thursday when Mo will be at his grandparents!

I'll bet I could even find Chia pets for cheap right now!

Maybe we could make those bean necklaces - the kind you make with a pinto bean, a cotton ball and a plastic film cannister (I'll bet I have a few of those around). I could get some string and some beads and they could make a necklace.

I haven't made the invitations yet but I have warned the "sides" that all are invited. I think we'll be okay.

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Hmm, I didn't mean combination gifts from you, I meant more generally as a concept of losing out in some way because one's birthday is so close to Christmas. If you would do this if his birthday party was in July, too, I'd go for it. What gives me pause is that you're specifically saying that he got enough stuff for Christmas, which is so recent.

It do love the planting party idea. Perhaps you can just ask people to bring the seeds -- usually gettable for $1.00 or under -- and then not make it explicit that they shouldn't bring presents, too?

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boomer, I agree with Sozobe, I'd separate the neighborhood kids and Mo's other family as well.

1.5 hours for kids that age is plenty, and there are many
age appropriate activities to occupy them. We've done
the pots/flower thing one year, except I bought little geranium
flowers and clay pots w/saucers. The clay pot/saucer was
painted by the kids and the geraniums were in plastic containers and just placed into the clay pot.

Most birthday parties we went to (at that age) had entertainers like Clowns, storytellers and face painters.

One time we had a birthday party at a children's museum,
that was a lot of fun too.

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I know what you all mean by separating the parties but just thinking about being in the room with just both sides of his bio-family represented is a bit chilling.

This year I probably would do something similar, soz, even if his birthday were in July.

Partly because there is a big divide between what people can afford. For example, for Christmas this year our neighbor gave him an expensive metal Tonka excavator, Mo's mom gave him a friction car from the dollar tree.

I'm not criticising her for that by any stretch of the imagination. I just think it would be awkward. Many people in Mo's bio-family live on very limited funds.

Those sound like great parties, CJane. Next year when he has school pals to invite I'll probably consider something like that.

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Then go for it. The only thing that was making me go "hmmm" was the mention of Christmas.

Also, what does MO want? That gets a little tricky, if he wants something that is impossible to deliver, but I vowed after this year's party to involve sozlet more next year -- it ended up going well but there was a dicey period right before it when she wanted something totally different and I realized I'd just kind of planned over her head without involving her enough.

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Wow. I'm thinking I need to join the 21st century with this whole party planning thing.

We have a pretty zen approach to gifting around here. I'd never considered letting Mo plan his own party - I was just thinking something simple, with the people he loves eating cake together.

Hmmm......

He's never really had a "real" birthday party before. He's been to a couple but they were all kind of friends and family and kids (and their families) thrown together.

I was thinking a couple of gifts from me and Mr. B., maybe a train ride up to Seattle, a little party and done.

Hmmm.....

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Help me with my big and little birthday party questions!

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